Mommy Shortlegs
@coolhandkas.bsky.social
she/her
Death to America
Steve Buscemi enjoyer
Death to America
Steve Buscemi enjoyer
Pinned
Mommy Shortlegs
@coolhandkas.bsky.social
· Nov 14
Had a guy ask me for a reprint of a receipt he lost, he goes "it's for Caterpillar pants" I go "dang those pants must have a ton of legs" he didn't laugh. I laughed a lot. That's showbiz baby
ok alternatively how good at Spanish do you think I'd need to be to work at Spain Costco
Alberta United Conservative Party gotta GO, I am NOT moving to Saskatchewan k
January 8, 2026 at 5:14 PM
ok alternatively how good at Spanish do you think I'd need to be to work at Spain Costco
Just stepped on the scale and I have lost six lbs in the last week just by eating real food instead of 20 butter tarts a day
Not trying to lose weight or anything, I just think that's neat from a science standpoint
Not trying to lose weight or anything, I just think that's neat from a science standpoint
January 8, 2026 at 4:31 PM
Just stepped on the scale and I have lost six lbs in the last week just by eating real food instead of 20 butter tarts a day
Not trying to lose weight or anything, I just think that's neat from a science standpoint
Not trying to lose weight or anything, I just think that's neat from a science standpoint
abortions for some, miniature American flags for others
January 8, 2026 at 7:43 AM
abortions for some, miniature American flags for others
yeah, well do you think a guy who acts tough on the internet could do *this*?
*starts crying because someone gave me gentle and valid criticism
*starts crying because someone gave me gentle and valid criticism
January 8, 2026 at 6:58 AM
yeah, well do you think a guy who acts tough on the internet could do *this*?
*starts crying because someone gave me gentle and valid criticism
*starts crying because someone gave me gentle and valid criticism
go brush your teeth, wash your face, have a good sleep, tomorrow is a new day, we all have redeeming qualities and are worthy of love and respect, even the person reading this, even the person writing this
Is anyone else ridiculous tense tonight like just a really fried nervous system type of day or
January 8, 2026 at 6:33 AM
go brush your teeth, wash your face, have a good sleep, tomorrow is a new day, we all have redeeming qualities and are worthy of love and respect, even the person reading this, even the person writing this
Is anyone else ridiculous tense tonight like just a really fried nervous system type of day or
January 8, 2026 at 6:00 AM
Is anyone else ridiculous tense tonight like just a really fried nervous system type of day or
sex is cool but have you ever done a good deed without posting it on the internet, just keeping it to yourself like a delicious lil secret
January 8, 2026 at 5:54 AM
sex is cool but have you ever done a good deed without posting it on the internet, just keeping it to yourself like a delicious lil secret
alright squad doomerism time is OVER 😤 it is once again time to BELIEVE 😤😤💪🏼💪🏼
January 8, 2026 at 5:50 AM
alright squad doomerism time is OVER 😤 it is once again time to BELIEVE 😤😤💪🏼💪🏼
pls president Xi help
can one of you guys just fucking do the thing already. I think we have all rightfully had about enough
January 8, 2026 at 5:28 AM
pls president Xi help
okay I have to issue an apology for saying Phishsky is worse than AbLeg twitter. I'm doing a playback reel in my brain and idk if anything on this Earth is worse than AbLeg Twitter truly
January 8, 2026 at 5:13 AM
okay I have to issue an apology for saying Phishsky is worse than AbLeg twitter. I'm doing a playback reel in my brain and idk if anything on this Earth is worse than AbLeg Twitter truly
Reposted by Mommy Shortlegs
Kinda sucks how one day you’ll post stuff like “does the Grinch use the toilet?” and then the next it has to be “I reject those who worship death”
January 7, 2026 at 10:55 PM
Kinda sucks how one day you’ll post stuff like “does the Grinch use the toilet?” and then the next it has to be “I reject those who worship death”
Reposted by Mommy Shortlegs
rumor has it the millennial front office is desperate to trade jd vance to whichever generation will take him. they're working the wires, especially targeting gen x and boomers, and are open to any deal for a politician to be named later. no chance of getting an actual prospect in return
January 8, 2026 at 4:54 AM
rumor has it the millennial front office is desperate to trade jd vance to whichever generation will take him. they're working the wires, especially targeting gen x and boomers, and are open to any deal for a politician to be named later. no chance of getting an actual prospect in return
sorry for being so annoying lately. not related to anything going on, just kind of how I am as a person
January 8, 2026 at 4:39 AM
sorry for being so annoying lately. not related to anything going on, just kind of how I am as a person
Reposted by Mommy Shortlegs
lmao anyone else remember the ableg twitter bagel drama from 2023 or
January 8, 2026 at 4:00 AM
lmao anyone else remember the ableg twitter bagel drama from 2023 or
Reposted by Mommy Shortlegs
today i wrote to the Minister of AI, Evan Solomon, urging him to take action against X Corp for Grok's production and distribution of CSAM, and while it's probably a waste of time appealing to these feckless cowards if you want to amplify my request you can write to him too. here's the contact page
The Honourable Evan Solomon - Member of Parliament - Members of Parliament - House of Commons of Canada
The Honourable Evan Solomon - Member of Parliament - Members of Parliament - House of Commons of Canada
www.ourcommons.ca
January 8, 2026 at 2:06 AM
today i wrote to the Minister of AI, Evan Solomon, urging him to take action against X Corp for Grok's production and distribution of CSAM, and while it's probably a waste of time appealing to these feckless cowards if you want to amplify my request you can write to him too. here's the contact page
Reposted by Mommy Shortlegs
we can't shut down the dick sucking factories what else are we going to do with all those guys trained to suck dick 10 hours a day
January 7, 2026 at 10:52 PM
we can't shut down the dick sucking factories what else are we going to do with all those guys trained to suck dick 10 hours a day
Noooooo somebody jacked my good owala bottle off the till I was packing on today 😭
January 7, 2026 at 9:14 PM
Noooooo somebody jacked my good owala bottle off the till I was packing on today 😭
I am thankful I work today because it would be very easy to spend the day doom scrolling
January 7, 2026 at 6:34 PM
I am thankful I work today because it would be very easy to spend the day doom scrolling
Alberta United Conservative Party gotta GO, I am NOT moving to Saskatchewan k
January 7, 2026 at 6:21 PM
Alberta United Conservative Party gotta GO, I am NOT moving to Saskatchewan k
every day I open this app to have a silly lil laugh with my pals only to instead get smacked with some completely horrifying new development of the circumstances
January 7, 2026 at 5:24 PM
every day I open this app to have a silly lil laugh with my pals only to instead get smacked with some completely horrifying new development of the circumstances
Reposted by Mommy Shortlegs
Yup...they're still banning books. Taking away peoples' human rights. Selling out our water to Australian mining companies. And it's only Tuesday. God I hate these fucking people.
Alberta school boards remove dozens of library books as provincial ban in effect
www.ctvnews.ca/edmonton/art...
www.ctvnews.ca/edmonton/art...
Alberta school boards remove dozens of library books as provincial ban in effect
Alberta’s two biggest school divisions say dozens of library books have been taken off the shelves as the province’s ban on sexually explicit material took effect this week.
www.ctvnews.ca
January 7, 2026 at 4:49 AM
Yup...they're still banning books. Taking away peoples' human rights. Selling out our water to Australian mining companies. And it's only Tuesday. God I hate these fucking people.
Nobody even says "now for a word from our sponsors" anymore. They just cut straight to the sponsors now. No warning or anything just pure unfiltered advertising. A truly sick society
January 7, 2026 at 7:46 AM
Nobody even says "now for a word from our sponsors" anymore. They just cut straight to the sponsors now. No warning or anything just pure unfiltered advertising. A truly sick society
Reposted by Mommy Shortlegs
Being annoying on your own timeline is free speech. Being annoying in someone's replies is harassment. Quote posts are a gray area of the law still being developed
December 7, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Being annoying on your own timeline is free speech. Being annoying in someone's replies is harassment. Quote posts are a gray area of the law still being developed
can one of you guys just fucking do the thing already. I think we have all rightfully had about enough
January 7, 2026 at 7:27 AM
can one of you guys just fucking do the thing already. I think we have all rightfully had about enough
laws are a crazy concept because if you're poor you have to follow them but if you're rich you don't
January 7, 2026 at 7:20 AM
laws are a crazy concept because if you're poor you have to follow them but if you're rich you don't