Plug McSassy
@sj.gg
NYT journalist
not on the epstein list, stop asking
endorsements ≠ endorsements
he/him/himbo
check out my website
not on the epstein list, stop asking
endorsements ≠ endorsements
he/him/himbo
check out my website
Reposted by Plug McSassy
PAVLOV: thank you for watching my dog! did they drool a lot?
SCHRÖDINGER: yes and no
SCHRÖDINGER: yes and no
November 21, 2025 at 9:14 PM
PAVLOV: thank you for watching my dog! did they drool a lot?
SCHRÖDINGER: yes and no
SCHRÖDINGER: yes and no
Reposted by Plug McSassy
nothing means anything anymore 😵💫
November 21, 2025 at 9:23 PM
nothing means anything anymore 😵💫
i’m in Utah and they’re all calling it Slut Lake City
November 22, 2025 at 12:51 AM
i’m in Utah and they’re all calling it Slut Lake City
The White House
Appointment of Barron as NYC Mayor and Mandatory Catch with Zohran
By the power vested in me, I hereby declare: Barron is Mayor of New York City, and Zohran must play catch with me Tuesdays and Thursdays. -President Donald J Trump
Appointment of Barron as NYC Mayor and Mandatory Catch with Zohran
By the power vested in me, I hereby declare: Barron is Mayor of New York City, and Zohran must play catch with me Tuesdays and Thursdays. -President Donald J Trump
November 22, 2025 at 12:42 AM
The White House
Appointment of Barron as NYC Mayor and Mandatory Catch with Zohran
By the power vested in me, I hereby declare: Barron is Mayor of New York City, and Zohran must play catch with me Tuesdays and Thursdays. -President Donald J Trump
Appointment of Barron as NYC Mayor and Mandatory Catch with Zohran
By the power vested in me, I hereby declare: Barron is Mayor of New York City, and Zohran must play catch with me Tuesdays and Thursdays. -President Donald J Trump
Reposted by Plug McSassy
MAMDANI: i'm going to cast the One Ring into the fiery depths of Mount Doom :)
SAURON, THE DARK LORD: no problem my guy. i'll keep an *eye* on you ,)
SAURON, THE DARK LORD: no problem my guy. i'll keep an *eye* on you ,)
November 21, 2025 at 10:08 PM
MAMDANI: i'm going to cast the One Ring into the fiery depths of Mount Doom :)
SAURON, THE DARK LORD: no problem my guy. i'll keep an *eye* on you ,)
SAURON, THE DARK LORD: no problem my guy. i'll keep an *eye* on you ,)
[airport]
sir stop right there
the machine shows something right arooooooound —here
*squish squish*
you got anything in there?
can you spread your legs a little more?
sir please just show us your dick we NEED to see that thang
sir stop right there
the machine shows something right arooooooound —here
*squish squish*
you got anything in there?
can you spread your legs a little more?
sir please just show us your dick we NEED to see that thang
November 22, 2025 at 12:33 AM
[airport]
sir stop right there
the machine shows something right arooooooound —here
*squish squish*
you got anything in there?
can you spread your legs a little more?
sir please just show us your dick we NEED to see that thang
sir stop right there
the machine shows something right arooooooound —here
*squish squish*
you got anything in there?
can you spread your legs a little more?
sir please just show us your dick we NEED to see that thang
barber: *snip snip* and done! how do you like it?
me: looks great! thank—
barber: *cupping my mouth* now to smear a bunch of sticky shit in it
me: looks great! thank—
barber: *cupping my mouth* now to smear a bunch of sticky shit in it
November 22, 2025 at 12:27 AM
barber: *snip snip* and done! how do you like it?
me: looks great! thank—
barber: *cupping my mouth* now to smear a bunch of sticky shit in it
me: looks great! thank—
barber: *cupping my mouth* now to smear a bunch of sticky shit in it
further proof trump has NO principles and does not believe anything. if the right people were pulling the strings he would be fine. good even
November 21, 2025 at 11:52 PM
further proof trump has NO principles and does not believe anything. if the right people were pulling the strings he would be fine. good even
stop making fun of zohran/trump! youre gonna jinx it. make fun of him for being smitten with steven miller or something. people, keep it together
November 21, 2025 at 11:47 PM
stop making fun of zohran/trump! youre gonna jinx it. make fun of him for being smitten with steven miller or something. people, keep it together
i never find myself on the Popular With Friends tab
November 21, 2025 at 7:09 PM
i never find myself on the Popular With Friends tab
more things the govt is relabeling from "Hateful" to "Potentially Divisive"
1. all slurs except for "whitey" & "cracka"
2. punching a hole clean thru a wall
3. saying "are you mad at me?" after being a dick
4. writing a manifesto about killing everyone you ever met
5. setting traps
6. Kevin Spacey
1. all slurs except for "whitey" & "cracka"
2. punching a hole clean thru a wall
3. saying "are you mad at me?" after being a dick
4. writing a manifesto about killing everyone you ever met
5. setting traps
6. Kevin Spacey
November 21, 2025 at 5:48 PM
more things the govt is relabeling from "Hateful" to "Potentially Divisive"
1. all slurs except for "whitey" & "cracka"
2. punching a hole clean thru a wall
3. saying "are you mad at me?" after being a dick
4. writing a manifesto about killing everyone you ever met
5. setting traps
6. Kevin Spacey
1. all slurs except for "whitey" & "cracka"
2. punching a hole clean thru a wall
3. saying "are you mad at me?" after being a dick
4. writing a manifesto about killing everyone you ever met
5. setting traps
6. Kevin Spacey
who added me to a starter pack?
November 21, 2025 at 5:39 PM
who added me to a starter pack?
currently enjoying: my zero-value existence
November 21, 2025 at 7:13 AM
currently enjoying: my zero-value existence
Reposted by Plug McSassy
what ever happened to that horny internet person?
November 21, 2025 at 4:46 AM
what ever happened to that horny internet person?
everything fucking sucks but at least we get to watch elon trip on the same rake over and over and over forever
November 21, 2025 at 2:36 AM
everything fucking sucks but at least we get to watch elon trip on the same rake over and over and over forever
Reposted by Plug McSassy
Not to profile, but most ghosts are white.
November 20, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Not to profile, but most ghosts are white.
Reposted by Plug McSassy
Government should be like jury duty. Just pick some random people for President, Congress, courts, etc. Sure, some of them will fuck shit up out of ignorance here and there, but it’s better than literally every single one of them fucking shit up on purpose constantly.
November 20, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Government should be like jury duty. Just pick some random people for President, Congress, courts, etc. Sure, some of them will fuck shit up out of ignorance here and there, but it’s better than literally every single one of them fucking shit up on purpose constantly.
if there’s video of [Bill Clinton] sexually assaulting someone i think it should be released. everyone should have to see [Prince Andrew] committing sex crimes. blur the victims or whatever but don’t redact the whole thing. society must be punished
November 20, 2025 at 1:46 AM
if there’s video of [Bill Clinton] sexually assaulting someone i think it should be released. everyone should have to see [Prince Andrew] committing sex crimes. blur the victims or whatever but don’t redact the whole thing. society must be punished
taking a friend from out of town to my favorite restaurant. i suggest some great dishes. they order something i’ve never heard of before. they don’t like it. “i don’t know why i ordered this i don’t even like mushrooms” .. 🥲
years later: “i don’t know why you like that place, it’s not very good” 🥺
years later: “i don’t know why you like that place, it’s not very good” 🥺
November 20, 2025 at 1:37 AM
taking a friend from out of town to my favorite restaurant. i suggest some great dishes. they order something i’ve never heard of before. they don’t like it. “i don’t know why i ordered this i don’t even like mushrooms” .. 🥲
years later: “i don’t know why you like that place, it’s not very good” 🥺
years later: “i don’t know why you like that place, it’s not very good” 🥺
Scam Likely
….. so you’re saying there’s a chance
….. so you’re saying there’s a chance
November 20, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Scam Likely
….. so you’re saying there’s a chance
….. so you’re saying there’s a chance
what the!!!!!
consequences??? in my timeline???
consequences??? in my timeline???
#BREAKING: Former Harvard President Lawrence H. Summers will immediately leave his role as an instructor at Harvard while the University investigates his ties to child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.
Dhruv T. Patel and Cam N. Srivastava report.
Dhruv T. Patel and Cam N. Srivastava report.
Summers Will Not Finish Semester of Teaching as Harvard Investigates Epstein Ties | News | The Harvard Crimson
Former Harvard President Lawrence H. Summers will immediately leave his role as an instructor at Harvard while the University investigates his ties to child sex trafficker Jeffrey E. Epstein.
www.thecrimson.com
November 20, 2025 at 1:26 AM
what the!!!!!
consequences??? in my timeline???
consequences??? in my timeline???
Reposted by Plug McSassy
butterflies, while beautiful, have very low HP
September 1, 2023 at 4:39 PM
butterflies, while beautiful, have very low HP
Reposted by Plug McSassy
Staying informed in 2025:
January 30, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Staying informed in 2025:
Reposted by Plug McSassy
squirrel: *points gun*
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
November 19, 2025 at 1:41 PM
squirrel: *points gun*
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
Reposted by Plug McSassy
It’s good to get eight hours of sleep because when you wake up you feel just as shitty as you do when you get five
November 19, 2025 at 12:04 PM
It’s good to get eight hours of sleep because when you wake up you feel just as shitty as you do when you get five