John Cougar Melonfarmer
@shinyfailure.bsky.social
By reading this message you are contractually obligated to watch or listen to The Scuttlebutt with me and @koboldstyle.bsky.social. Sorry, I don’t make the rules
https://youtube.com/@scuttlebuttery?si=yDApo83UFmkavpkl
https://youtube.com/@scuttlebuttery?si=yDApo83UFmkavpkl
Pinned
But Doctor, *I* am Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
So THAT’S what’s going on at Bohemian Grove?
November 15, 2025 at 6:42 AM
So THAT’S what’s going on at Bohemian Grove?
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
every generation loves Rumours. it’s fucking Rumours
November 9, 2025 at 2:55 AM
every generation loves Rumours. it’s fucking Rumours
Exclusive Shaq flavor
November 12, 2025 at 4:07 AM
Exclusive Shaq flavor
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
just started having recency bias and i love it. easily the best bias
August 12, 2023 at 6:04 PM
just started having recency bias and i love it. easily the best bias
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
Don't let grandma wander into the pit this year. We're begging you. Our lawyers got SO God damn expensive after Cincinnati last year.
November 10, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Don't let grandma wander into the pit this year. We're begging you. Our lawyers got SO God damn expensive after Cincinnati last year.
Mamdani is going to institute Diarrhea law, cha-cha-cha
Mamdani is going to impose Daria law. you’re standing on my neck
Mamdani is going to impose Sananda Maitreya law where you have to change your name if you're Terrence Trent D'Arby.
November 10, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Mamdani is going to institute Diarrhea law, cha-cha-cha
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
Yeah I looked upon Cthulhu's dread visage and I was fine. Big octopus on a man's body. Not exactly "difficult to comprehend." Maybe you guys should go outside more idk
November 7, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Yeah I looked upon Cthulhu's dread visage and I was fine. Big octopus on a man's body. Not exactly "difficult to comprehend." Maybe you guys should go outside more idk
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
When you get $1 billion in wealth you should get a statue in a garden somewhere, a dog park named after you, and a plaque that says you won capitalism. Every cent of wealth beyond that should be taxed at 100%.
That's a moderate proposal, but I'm open to Modest Proposals if we can't do that.
That's a moderate proposal, but I'm open to Modest Proposals if we can't do that.
November 7, 2025 at 2:07 AM
When you get $1 billion in wealth you should get a statue in a garden somewhere, a dog park named after you, and a plaque that says you won capitalism. Every cent of wealth beyond that should be taxed at 100%.
That's a moderate proposal, but I'm open to Modest Proposals if we can't do that.
That's a moderate proposal, but I'm open to Modest Proposals if we can't do that.
Time for JD Vance to move on to the next lonely widow
November 4, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Time for JD Vance to move on to the next lonely widow
My name is Ozymandias, king of kings. Look on my works and let me know if you’d like to try anything on
my name is ozymandias, king of kings. look upon my works. prices and participation may vary, for a limited time only. children under 13 need a parent or guardian's signature to participate.
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look upon my works, which were processed in a facility that also processes peanuts.
November 3, 2025 at 8:38 PM
My name is Ozymandias, king of kings. Look on my works and let me know if you’d like to try anything on
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
finally. baseball is over. we can only hope it has been defeated forever
November 2, 2025 at 4:25 AM
finally. baseball is over. we can only hope it has been defeated forever
Free hour tonight, let’s take this one to 19 innings #JaylightSavingTime
November 2, 2025 at 4:04 AM
Free hour tonight, let’s take this one to 19 innings #JaylightSavingTime
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
When I say I don't want to have kids but I still want to be involved in their lives, this is what I mean
November 1, 2025 at 2:22 PM
When I say I don't want to have kids but I still want to be involved in their lives, this is what I mean
Were the fun size bars bigger when I was a kid because everything seems bigger when you’re small or did capitalism happen
November 1, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Were the fun size bars bigger when I was a kid because everything seems bigger when you’re small or did capitalism happen
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
goddammit i have to work late in the lab tonight
October 31, 2025 at 1:33 PM
goddammit i have to work late in the lab tonight
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn't from "Star Wars", "Star Trek", "Doctor Who", or "Transformers".
October 30, 2025 at 8:41 PM
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn't from "Star Wars", "Star Trek", "Doctor Who", or "Transformers".
Army of Me
since we're doing baseball here, let's revive that favorite post prompt: what would your walk on music be if you were a relief pitcher. for a long time mine was "how soon is now" but lately i've been convinced you could stitch together a long enuff family-friendly sequence from "fuck the pain away"
October 28, 2025 at 5:08 AM
Army of Me
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
Alabama Didn't Just Execute a Possibly Innocent Man. They Tortured Him.
Alabama Didn't Just Execute a Possibly Innocent Man. They Tortured Him.
Anthony Boyd’s nitrogen gas execution lasted over 20 minutes. He gasped 225 times. He maintained his innocence until the end.
open.substack.com
October 25, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Alabama Didn't Just Execute a Possibly Innocent Man. They Tortured Him.
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
The German company that makes the mechanical ladder used in the Louvre heist has used the image to advertise, with the text 'When you need to move fast'
10/10 response, no notes
10/10 response, no notes
October 24, 2025 at 8:27 AM
The German company that makes the mechanical ladder used in the Louvre heist has used the image to advertise, with the text 'When you need to move fast'
10/10 response, no notes
10/10 response, no notes
Girl did you steal my crown jewels cuz I think I’m in louvre
October 22, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Girl did you steal my crown jewels cuz I think I’m in louvre
The only team I want to go the White House more than the Blue Jays is the Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs
October 21, 2025 at 3:03 AM
The only team I want to go the White House more than the Blue Jays is the Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
Tried to sneak a photo of a cute doggo and accidentally had long exposure on and I believe I have created man’s greatest expression of art
October 21, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Tried to sneak a photo of a cute doggo and accidentally had long exposure on and I believe I have created man’s greatest expression of art
Trump having to invite a Canadian team to the White House is obviously too funny to happen
October 21, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Trump having to invite a Canadian team to the White House is obviously too funny to happen