@satanicjetski.bsky.social
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So so so denke ich mir immer (
November 21, 2025 at 10:33 PM
So so so denke ich mir immer (
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Die öffnungszeiten von diesem account an Silvester
31.12: 09:15-11:30
31.12: 15:00-17:00
1.1.: 0:17-0:24
1.1.: 10:30-14:30
31.12: 09:15-11:30
31.12: 15:00-17:00
1.1.: 0:17-0:24
1.1.: 10:30-14:30
December 30, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Die öffnungszeiten von diesem account an Silvester
31.12: 09:15-11:30
31.12: 15:00-17:00
1.1.: 0:17-0:24
1.1.: 10:30-14:30
31.12: 09:15-11:30
31.12: 15:00-17:00
1.1.: 0:17-0:24
1.1.: 10:30-14:30
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Your honor my client loves crime
January 6, 2026 at 4:29 PM
Your honor my client loves crime
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The priest at my snake church said science is a myth
December 21, 2025 at 2:46 AM
The priest at my snake church said science is a myth
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[yelling over club music] I said the human experiment has been a failure
December 21, 2024 at 4:16 AM
[yelling over club music] I said the human experiment has been a failure
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(a bell rings, reminding me of previous times i have eaten) these memories are so good... might as well salivate. it's my choice.
June 13, 2023 at 9:15 AM
(a bell rings, reminding me of previous times i have eaten) these memories are so good... might as well salivate. it's my choice.
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2026 could be great. We simply don't know.
January 1, 2026 at 4:45 AM
2026 could be great. We simply don't know.
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The hairdresser holds up the mirror so I can see the back of my haircut but she accidentally uses the mirror that reveals how you die. I see my 80-year-old self tumbling down a hill after slacklining for the 1st time. I never know how to react in these situations, so I just mumble "wow I love it"
January 5, 2026 at 7:22 PM
The hairdresser holds up the mirror so I can see the back of my haircut but she accidentally uses the mirror that reveals how you die. I see my 80-year-old self tumbling down a hill after slacklining for the 1st time. I never know how to react in these situations, so I just mumble "wow I love it"
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hitting the weed pen and typing "people being nice to each other" into the youtube search bar
January 6, 2026 at 2:13 AM
hitting the weed pen and typing "people being nice to each other" into the youtube search bar
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realistic people: period products should be free for students
men in their 50s: if girls get free tampons, my 21 year old son Brandon shouldn't have to pay for nunchuck lessons
men in their 50s: if girls get free tampons, my 21 year old son Brandon shouldn't have to pay for nunchuck lessons
August 6, 2023 at 7:04 AM
realistic people: period products should be free for students
men in their 50s: if girls get free tampons, my 21 year old son Brandon shouldn't have to pay for nunchuck lessons
men in their 50s: if girls get free tampons, my 21 year old son Brandon shouldn't have to pay for nunchuck lessons
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you can't even conjure the devil anymore because of woke
December 22, 2025 at 4:09 PM
you can't even conjure the devil anymore because of woke
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Everyone at work is mad at me because I conjured The Devil
December 22, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Everyone at work is mad at me because I conjured The Devil
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why aren't they throwing bread at me. what do the ducks have that i do not
December 17, 2025 at 12:02 AM
why aren't they throwing bread at me. what do the ducks have that i do not
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if i'm obi wan kenobi and i'm sorta layin' low right near where i hid the son of a very powerful evil guy who knows me personally and is probably not super happy about how i cut his limbs off... think i go ahead and change that last name too
December 28, 2025 at 1:09 PM
if i'm obi wan kenobi and i'm sorta layin' low right near where i hid the son of a very powerful evil guy who knows me personally and is probably not super happy about how i cut his limbs off... think i go ahead and change that last name too
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Be the horrifying lore of your family's lineage
August 5, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Be the horrifying lore of your family's lineage
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it's just hard you see them all cute in the window and you want to adopt one even though you know you shouldn't
November 1, 2025 at 6:49 PM
it's just hard you see them all cute in the window and you want to adopt one even though you know you shouldn't
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Every day I have to hear about some asshole
February 28, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Every day I have to hear about some asshole
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[an awkward minute passes as Death struggles to pick up change from the countertop]
Death: (embarrassed) ha ha slippery coins
Drugstore Clerk: nah man it’s cuz you got them bone hands
Death: (embarrassed) ha ha slippery coins
Drugstore Clerk: nah man it’s cuz you got them bone hands
September 17, 2023 at 2:53 PM
[an awkward minute passes as Death struggles to pick up change from the countertop]
Death: (embarrassed) ha ha slippery coins
Drugstore Clerk: nah man it’s cuz you got them bone hands
Death: (embarrassed) ha ha slippery coins
Drugstore Clerk: nah man it’s cuz you got them bone hands
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Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work
December 1, 2024 at 5:04 PM
Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work
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DM means Dishonorable Message. If you need to speak with me you can do so in front of everyone, in the light of god
October 23, 2025 at 2:56 PM
DM means Dishonorable Message. If you need to speak with me you can do so in front of everyone, in the light of god
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i love seeing someone in the traditional vampire costume. very safe. everyone knows you. that’s our buddy dracula
October 31, 2025 at 1:16 AM
i love seeing someone in the traditional vampire costume. very safe. everyone knows you. that’s our buddy dracula
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after salmon leap out of the water and splash back down they're all talkin about how seeing the stream from up there makes you feel so insignificant
October 31, 2025 at 2:42 AM
after salmon leap out of the water and splash back down they're all talkin about how seeing the stream from up there makes you feel so insignificant
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(flipping couch cushions, digging in the garbage) no no no where the FUCK is my hug
October 31, 2025 at 4:07 AM
(flipping couch cushions, digging in the garbage) no no no where the FUCK is my hug
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watched a guy on youtube spend three years building a beautiful tiny home with artful details rivaling anything I’ve seen in a traditional house only for him to cut an onion so poorly in the final video that I’m forced to reconsider everything I believe about his taste and skill
May 5, 2025 at 3:37 AM
watched a guy on youtube spend three years building a beautiful tiny home with artful details rivaling anything I’ve seen in a traditional house only for him to cut an onion so poorly in the final video that I’m forced to reconsider everything I believe about his taste and skill