Reposted by Anders
I promise I will stop soon but I have to share this insane three-page sequence about immigration policy with a payoff you will absolutely not see coming.
December 6, 2025 at 4:10 PM
I promise I will stop soon but I have to share this insane three-page sequence about immigration policy with a payoff you will absolutely not see coming.
Reposted by Anders
Reposted by Anders
I heard there was a secret ooze
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
March 29, 2025 at 10:11 PM
I heard there was a secret ooze
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
Reposted by Anders
There should be one long Smurf. Long like a snake. And it eats the other Smurfs whole, and it swallows all their precious Smurf eggs.
March 29, 2025 at 7:48 PM
There should be one long Smurf. Long like a snake. And it eats the other Smurfs whole, and it swallows all their precious Smurf eggs.
Reposted by Anders
Reposted by Anders
I could probably fix things
if I just had a successful podcast
if I just had a successful podcast
March 17, 2025 at 1:19 AM
I could probably fix things
if I just had a successful podcast
if I just had a successful podcast
Reposted by Anders
If I get on a plane and the takeoff announcements don't contain a land acknowledgement or the pilots' pronouns, I am jumping off the fucking thing.
FOUR DEADLY PLANE CRASHES IN FOUR WEEKS: One dead, four hospitalized after two jets collide on runway at Scottsdale, Arizona airport.
1 dead, 4 hospitalized after two planes crash on runway at Scottsdale Airport
At around 2:30 p.m., Scottsdale officials say a plane crashed but have not confirmed any injuries.
www.abc15.com
February 11, 2025 at 1:31 AM
If I get on a plane and the takeoff announcements don't contain a land acknowledgement or the pilots' pronouns, I am jumping off the fucking thing.
Reposted by Anders
Entering my Ritalin Era
January 31, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Entering my Ritalin Era
Reposted by Anders
Me: Explaining that I’m not suicidal, I just want to fake my death & attend the funeral in disguise so I can see who PRETENDED to love me in an attempt to steal my prized ruby, “the Sultan’s Bloodshot Eye”
Therapist: *taking suspiciously detailed notes about the ruby’s location*
Therapist: *taking suspiciously detailed notes about the ruby’s location*
January 16, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Me: Explaining that I’m not suicidal, I just want to fake my death & attend the funeral in disguise so I can see who PRETENDED to love me in an attempt to steal my prized ruby, “the Sultan’s Bloodshot Eye”
Therapist: *taking suspiciously detailed notes about the ruby’s location*
Therapist: *taking suspiciously detailed notes about the ruby’s location*
Reposted by Anders
Is it ISIS or ISIL? It’s for my LinkedIn profile
December 31, 2024 at 6:08 AM
Is it ISIS or ISIL? It’s for my LinkedIn profile
Brother playing Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang for my 70-year-old aunt
December 25, 2024 at 5:50 PM
Brother playing Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang for my 70-year-old aunt
Reposted by Anders
it’s very easy to win “try not to cum” games. where most people go wrong is they start jacking off
December 20, 2024 at 10:52 PM
it’s very easy to win “try not to cum” games. where most people go wrong is they start jacking off
Reposted by Anders
You, adorable: But a shutdown makes Biden look weak just as he leaves office!
Me, hardened with experience: Most swing voters probably think Trump is president
Me, hardened with experience: Most swing voters probably think Trump is president
December 19, 2024 at 4:01 AM
You, adorable: But a shutdown makes Biden look weak just as he leaves office!
Me, hardened with experience: Most swing voters probably think Trump is president
Me, hardened with experience: Most swing voters probably think Trump is president
Reposted by Anders
Reposted by Anders
When I get a call from an unknown number I act the same way I would if a human hand started clawing its way out of my bathtub drain, a mixture of confusion and fear
December 17, 2024 at 5:53 PM
When I get a call from an unknown number I act the same way I would if a human hand started clawing its way out of my bathtub drain, a mixture of confusion and fear
Went 24 hours without weed or alcohol
It sucks, crazy
It sucks, crazy
December 13, 2024 at 2:36 AM
Went 24 hours without weed or alcohol
It sucks, crazy
It sucks, crazy
Found out my 8th grade crush is now a chiropractor
Not sure what to do with that information
Not sure what to do with that information
December 13, 2024 at 12:31 AM
Found out my 8th grade crush is now a chiropractor
Not sure what to do with that information
Not sure what to do with that information
Reposted by Anders
Guy who gets his news from Threads: “They’ve just arrested the shooter. His name is Gavrilo Princip”
December 10, 2024 at 12:05 PM
Guy who gets his news from Threads: “They’ve just arrested the shooter. His name is Gavrilo Princip”
Reposted by Anders
do you think people with telekinesis can give mindjobs?
December 10, 2024 at 3:18 PM
do you think people with telekinesis can give mindjobs?
Reposted by Anders
I’ve always been pretty chill about gender. Like when Shania said “let’s go girls,” I knew that included me.
December 9, 2024 at 5:13 PM
I’ve always been pretty chill about gender. Like when Shania said “let’s go girls,” I knew that included me.