Reposted by Mikey Eff
We built a calculator that doesn't work, but don't worry, it's also a plagiarism machine that will tell you to kill yourself. It runs on the world's oceans and costs 10 trillion dollars.
August 29, 2025 at 6:24 PM
We built a calculator that doesn't work, but don't worry, it's also a plagiarism machine that will tell you to kill yourself. It runs on the world's oceans and costs 10 trillion dollars.
Reposted by Mikey Eff
John Fetterman’s a disgrace to the oaf community. He does not represent America’s lumbering buffoons, ham-fisted galoots, or men whose heavy footsteps are soundtracked by a tuba.
January 26, 2025 at 6:47 AM
John Fetterman’s a disgrace to the oaf community. He does not represent America’s lumbering buffoons, ham-fisted galoots, or men whose heavy footsteps are soundtracked by a tuba.
Reposted by Mikey Eff
i'm also coming out of my cage and i've been doing just fine, i just didn't write a whole song about it
January 15, 2025 at 8:30 PM
i'm also coming out of my cage and i've been doing just fine, i just didn't write a whole song about it
Reposted by Mikey Eff
Bad news, Radiohead fans. The band has finally revealed what country “The National Anthem” is the national anthem of: Loserville
January 14, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Bad news, Radiohead fans. The band has finally revealed what country “The National Anthem” is the national anthem of: Loserville
Reposted by Mikey Eff
*walking in a winter wonderland*
ME: where's bluebird?
BIRD: gone
ME: w... who are you?
*bird looks around shiftily*
BIRD: I'm new bird
ME: where's bluebird?
BIRD: gone
ME: w... who are you?
*bird looks around shiftily*
BIRD: I'm new bird
December 16, 2023 at 4:33 PM
*walking in a winter wonderland*
ME: where's bluebird?
BIRD: gone
ME: w... who are you?
*bird looks around shiftily*
BIRD: I'm new bird
ME: where's bluebird?
BIRD: gone
ME: w... who are you?
*bird looks around shiftily*
BIRD: I'm new bird
Reposted by Mikey Eff
Angels: fake
Dragons: Real but extinct
Leprechauns: Real but I think their powers are more limited than stories would have you believe. Critically endangered.
Chupacabra: I don't want to speak over latino voices on this one. I'm listening.
Bigfoot: fake and extinct
Dragons: Real but extinct
Leprechauns: Real but I think their powers are more limited than stories would have you believe. Critically endangered.
Chupacabra: I don't want to speak over latino voices on this one. I'm listening.
Bigfoot: fake and extinct
December 18, 2024 at 2:08 AM
Angels: fake
Dragons: Real but extinct
Leprechauns: Real but I think their powers are more limited than stories would have you believe. Critically endangered.
Chupacabra: I don't want to speak over latino voices on this one. I'm listening.
Bigfoot: fake and extinct
Dragons: Real but extinct
Leprechauns: Real but I think their powers are more limited than stories would have you believe. Critically endangered.
Chupacabra: I don't want to speak over latino voices on this one. I'm listening.
Bigfoot: fake and extinct
Reposted by Mikey Eff
Like I get why someone would say “Hey the guy had kids, think about them when you’re celebrating the man’s death” but I gotta say if my dad died and tons of strangers THRILLED about it I think I’d be a little curious as to why and if I already knew why maybe I wouldn’t think my dad was so great?
December 4, 2024 at 10:50 PM
Like I get why someone would say “Hey the guy had kids, think about them when you’re celebrating the man’s death” but I gotta say if my dad died and tons of strangers THRILLED about it I think I’d be a little curious as to why and if I already knew why maybe I wouldn’t think my dad was so great?
Reposted by Mikey Eff
JIGSAW: all your life you've really drowned people to death in urine by being late all the time
VICTIM: boy I don't like where this is going
VICTIM: boy I don't like where this is going
November 24, 2024 at 11:46 PM
JIGSAW: all your life you've really drowned people to death in urine by being late all the time
VICTIM: boy I don't like where this is going
VICTIM: boy I don't like where this is going
Reposted by Mikey Eff
To be fair she does look like a chicken.
November 23, 2024 at 2:08 PM
To be fair she does look like a chicken.
Reposted by Mikey Eff
Look, do I regret betraying my siblings? Sure. Would I do it again for the great taste of Turkish delight? Of course I would
November 20, 2024 at 3:14 AM
Look, do I regret betraying my siblings? Sure. Would I do it again for the great taste of Turkish delight? Of course I would
Reposted by Mikey Eff
i admit i live in an echo chamber of leftist politics, the only exception being when i hear things said by the president, the next president, the supreme court, members of congress, people on the news, my family, or people i encounter in my daily life.
November 17, 2024 at 10:34 PM
i admit i live in an echo chamber of leftist politics, the only exception being when i hear things said by the president, the next president, the supreme court, members of congress, people on the news, my family, or people i encounter in my daily life.
Reposted by Mikey Eff
Therapists should have to work in pairs, each trying to persuade you to take their advice, and one of them should be evil
November 19, 2024 at 4:39 AM
Therapists should have to work in pairs, each trying to persuade you to take their advice, and one of them should be evil
Reposted by Mikey Eff
doctor: you are sad. the B-52s are performing tonight. go see them, they will cheer you up
fred schneider: but DOCTOR
fred schneider: but DOCTOR
November 18, 2024 at 4:18 PM
doctor: you are sad. the B-52s are performing tonight. go see them, they will cheer you up
fred schneider: but DOCTOR
fred schneider: but DOCTOR
Reposted by Mikey Eff
The grim reaper doesn't kill you, right? He just escorts you to the afterlife? Why does he need to look like that then. Clean yourself up man, I'm not going anywhere with you dressed like this
November 18, 2024 at 3:50 PM
The grim reaper doesn't kill you, right? He just escorts you to the afterlife? Why does he need to look like that then. Clean yourself up man, I'm not going anywhere with you dressed like this
Might be basic, but this guy gets me.
November 18, 2024 at 2:54 PM
Might be basic, but this guy gets me.
Reposted by Mikey Eff
“skeets” ❌
“tweets” ❌
“posts” ❌
“slunts” ✅ ✅ ✅
“tweets” ❌
“posts” ❌
“slunts” ✅ ✅ ✅
November 18, 2024 at 4:35 AM
“skeets” ❌
“tweets” ❌
“posts” ❌
“slunts” ✅ ✅ ✅
“tweets” ❌
“posts” ❌
“slunts” ✅ ✅ ✅
Reposted by Mikey Eff
Thinking of getting someone off fiverr to follow me round in the role of a sort of scheming vizier. They can say stuff like “of course, you know best,” before pausing for long enough that I bark “out with it then!”, and then they go “perhaps if I may…” Shit like that. Six dollars an hour.
November 17, 2024 at 6:09 AM
Thinking of getting someone off fiverr to follow me round in the role of a sort of scheming vizier. They can say stuff like “of course, you know best,” before pausing for long enough that I bark “out with it then!”, and then they go “perhaps if I may…” Shit like that. Six dollars an hour.
Reposted by Mikey Eff
*listening to radiohead* what’s this guy’s problem?
November 15, 2024 at 1:54 AM
*listening to radiohead* what’s this guy’s problem?
Reposted by Mikey Eff
Normal, simplistic RPG: Brave hero, the forces of evil grow near. Please kill 3 giant crabs for 10 gold.
Complex, well-written RPG: For who can even say what is good and what is evil? Please kill 3 giant crabs for 10 gold.
Complex, well-written RPG: For who can even say what is good and what is evil? Please kill 3 giant crabs for 10 gold.
September 22, 2023 at 7:11 PM
Normal, simplistic RPG: Brave hero, the forces of evil grow near. Please kill 3 giant crabs for 10 gold.
Complex, well-written RPG: For who can even say what is good and what is evil? Please kill 3 giant crabs for 10 gold.
Complex, well-written RPG: For who can even say what is good and what is evil? Please kill 3 giant crabs for 10 gold.
Reposted by Mikey Eff
man on the one hand I want to have a vibrant social life full of thrilling events with varied and fascinating people and on the other hand it is Saturday night and I want to watch murder she wrote and go to bed at 9 pm
September 23, 2023 at 11:02 PM
man on the one hand I want to have a vibrant social life full of thrilling events with varied and fascinating people and on the other hand it is Saturday night and I want to watch murder she wrote and go to bed at 9 pm
Reposted by Mikey Eff
a radioactive supervillain named H.R. Geiger would have been a great Venture Bros character
September 23, 2023 at 1:23 AM
a radioactive supervillain named H.R. Geiger would have been a great Venture Bros character