Lady Lawya
@ladylawya.bsky.social
I’m @parkerlawyer from Twitter. divorce lawyer • football fan • mom to a bazillion kids • dog lover • I just want to laugh •
Pinned
Lady Lawya
@ladylawya.bsky.social
· Nov 9
I’m @parkerlawyer from Twitter and I am searching for my friends! If we follow each other over on that hellscape, please say hi so I can follow you!
Reposted by Lady Lawya
I love how I can say, "I just saw one of those shitboxes driving on the road," and most people know what I'm talking about
March 11, 2025 at 2:57 PM
I love how I can say, "I just saw one of those shitboxes driving on the road," and most people know what I'm talking about
Reposted by Lady Lawya
If you haven't watched "Wag the Dog" or "The Big Short," do yourself a favor and find time to watch each of these.
March 11, 2025 at 1:08 PM
If you haven't watched "Wag the Dog" or "The Big Short," do yourself a favor and find time to watch each of these.
Reposted by Lady Lawya
YOU GET NOTHING!
YOU LOSE!
GOOD DAY, SIR!
YOU LOSE!
GOOD DAY, SIR!
March 11, 2025 at 3:16 PM
YOU GET NOTHING!
YOU LOSE!
GOOD DAY, SIR!
YOU LOSE!
GOOD DAY, SIR!
Reposted by Lady Lawya
I joined a gang today. I just got my welcome email.
March 11, 2025 at 10:43 PM
I joined a gang today. I just got my welcome email.
Reposted by Lady Lawya
[drunk texting ex gf during party]
no no no guys, it's cool, I just need to clarify something I said in 1998
no no no guys, it's cool, I just need to clarify something I said in 1998
March 10, 2025 at 1:12 AM
[drunk texting ex gf during party]
no no no guys, it's cool, I just need to clarify something I said in 1998
no no no guys, it's cool, I just need to clarify something I said in 1998
Reposted by Lady Lawya
You know they make the blenders loud so you can't hear the fruit screaming.
December 2, 2024 at 1:33 AM
You know they make the blenders loud so you can't hear the fruit screaming.
Reposted by Lady Lawya
I tend to stress eat...even when I’m not stressed.
March 12, 2025 at 3:11 AM
I tend to stress eat...even when I’m not stressed.
Reposted by Lady Lawya
I just can’t wait til it’s warm and I’m out in the streets livin’ life with my man and my friends 🥰❤️
March 12, 2025 at 3:45 AM
I just can’t wait til it’s warm and I’m out in the streets livin’ life with my man and my friends 🥰❤️
My husband and I both had hearings scheduled in front of the same judge for the same time and he said, “Whichever one of you wants to go first, hash it out and let me know.”
Then he laughed out loud and told my husband to have a seat and called my case.
Then he laughed out loud and told my husband to have a seat and called my case.
March 12, 2025 at 3:46 AM
My husband and I both had hearings scheduled in front of the same judge for the same time and he said, “Whichever one of you wants to go first, hash it out and let me know.”
Then he laughed out loud and told my husband to have a seat and called my case.
Then he laughed out loud and told my husband to have a seat and called my case.
Reposted by Lady Lawya
I always ask them not to cut the pizza so I can just eat it like a big cookie
March 11, 2025 at 10:20 PM
I always ask them not to cut the pizza so I can just eat it like a big cookie
Reposted by Lady Lawya
Her: Anything you say can and will be used against you.
Me: Am I under arrest?
Her: No, darling, you’re married.
Me: Am I under arrest?
Her: No, darling, you’re married.
March 11, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Her: Anything you say can and will be used against you.
Me: Am I under arrest?
Her: No, darling, you’re married.
Me: Am I under arrest?
Her: No, darling, you’re married.
Reposted by Lady Lawya
Anything you can do I can do just as badly.
March 11, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Anything you can do I can do just as badly.
Reposted by Lady Lawya
obviously, you’d be a fool not to get two
March 11, 2025 at 10:31 PM
obviously, you’d be a fool not to get two
Reposted by Lady Lawya
ME: *dies*
DEATH: Welcome to the afterlife.
ME: How do I get to Heaven?
DEATH: *points* Go up those stairs.
ME: What about Hell?
DEATH: *points* Go down those stairs.
ME: And Limbo?
DEATH: *points* Just duck under that bar.
DEATH: Welcome to the afterlife.
ME: How do I get to Heaven?
DEATH: *points* Go up those stairs.
ME: What about Hell?
DEATH: *points* Go down those stairs.
ME: And Limbo?
DEATH: *points* Just duck under that bar.
March 12, 2025 at 12:51 AM
ME: *dies*
DEATH: Welcome to the afterlife.
ME: How do I get to Heaven?
DEATH: *points* Go up those stairs.
ME: What about Hell?
DEATH: *points* Go down those stairs.
ME: And Limbo?
DEATH: *points* Just duck under that bar.
DEATH: Welcome to the afterlife.
ME: How do I get to Heaven?
DEATH: *points* Go up those stairs.
ME: What about Hell?
DEATH: *points* Go down those stairs.
ME: And Limbo?
DEATH: *points* Just duck under that bar.
My husband just walked in the door and saw a gift bag with red hearts all over it sitting on the table and I cannot make this up, said, “Is it someone’s birthday?”
February 14, 2025 at 1:25 AM
My husband just walked in the door and saw a gift bag with red hearts all over it sitting on the table and I cannot make this up, said, “Is it someone’s birthday?”
Reposted by Lady Lawya
Them: why are you so stressed
Me: the everything
Me: the everything
February 13, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Them: why are you so stressed
Me: the everything
Me: the everything
Reposted by Lady Lawya
for the potato fears not death
December 31, 2024 at 1:55 PM
for the potato fears not death
Reposted by Lady Lawya
Blue Öyster Cult:
Don’t fear the reaper.
Me: Sure, sure. That’s exactly what 5 reapers in a trench coat would say.
Don’t fear the reaper.
Me: Sure, sure. That’s exactly what 5 reapers in a trench coat would say.
February 5, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Blue Öyster Cult:
Don’t fear the reaper.
Me: Sure, sure. That’s exactly what 5 reapers in a trench coat would say.
Don’t fear the reaper.
Me: Sure, sure. That’s exactly what 5 reapers in a trench coat would say.
Reposted by Lady Lawya
I was feeling reckless so I played Vivaldi in reverse order of seasons.
February 6, 2025 at 11:19 AM
I was feeling reckless so I played Vivaldi in reverse order of seasons.
Reposted by Lady Lawya
Flat Earthers are the only people who become less of a problem when you push them too far.
February 6, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Flat Earthers are the only people who become less of a problem when you push them too far.
Reposted by Lady Lawya
a Popeye movie where an aging Popeye goes to the doctor only to discover that his trademark spinach addiction has resulted in massive kidney stones, gout, and never-ending diarrhea
February 6, 2025 at 2:39 AM
a Popeye movie where an aging Popeye goes to the doctor only to discover that his trademark spinach addiction has resulted in massive kidney stones, gout, and never-ending diarrhea
Reposted by Lady Lawya
Reposted by Lady Lawya
*goes into meeting with HR
*strips off sparkly jumpsuit to reveal an even sparklier sparkly jumpsuit
*backflips off desk
*still gets fired
*strips off sparkly jumpsuit to reveal an even sparklier sparkly jumpsuit
*backflips off desk
*still gets fired
February 4, 2025 at 6:10 PM
*goes into meeting with HR
*strips off sparkly jumpsuit to reveal an even sparklier sparkly jumpsuit
*backflips off desk
*still gets fired
*strips off sparkly jumpsuit to reveal an even sparklier sparkly jumpsuit
*backflips off desk
*still gets fired
Reposted by Lady Lawya
waiter: is Pepsi ok
me: is conditioning people to settle for less than they
expected ok
me: is conditioning people to settle for less than they
expected ok
February 4, 2025 at 3:47 PM
waiter: is Pepsi ok
me: is conditioning people to settle for less than they
expected ok
me: is conditioning people to settle for less than they
expected ok
Reposted by Lady Lawya
every day we see more and more evidence of society descending into utter lawlessness and chaos
February 6, 2025 at 12:32 PM
every day we see more and more evidence of society descending into utter lawlessness and chaos