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“I’m sorry I caused all that autism.”
September 22, 2025 at 6:43 PM
“I’m sorry I caused all that autism.”
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There can’t be any gun restrictions because we have to protect against federal government tyranny, and if kids get shot we just have to live with it. Also the President can send troops to cities because the federal government can do whatever it wants. These two ideas are consistent and reasonable.
August 27, 2025 at 5:20 PM
There can’t be any gun restrictions because we have to protect against federal government tyranny, and if kids get shot we just have to live with it. Also the President can send troops to cities because the federal government can do whatever it wants. These two ideas are consistent and reasonable.
I imagine the billions of people who came before us and never had a chance to hear Brian Wilson’s “God Only Knows”, and I’m thankful I had the chance.
June 11, 2025 at 5:44 PM
I imagine the billions of people who came before us and never had a chance to hear Brian Wilson’s “God Only Knows”, and I’m thankful I had the chance.
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They’ve finally invented a robot that’s as good as me at sports
Well, that's another day nearly over, gang. Just enough time left to quickly check in on the AI takeover we're sacrificing our actual planet to fuel.
May 26, 2025 at 8:55 PM
They’ve finally invented a robot that’s as good as me at sports
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Only Bag Of Chips Big Enough For Funeral Reception Says ‘Party Size!’ On It
theonion.com/only-ba...
theonion.com/only-ba...
April 1, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Only Bag Of Chips Big Enough For Funeral Reception Says ‘Party Size!’ On It
theonion.com/only-ba...
theonion.com/only-ba...
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Don't tell me that the billionaires running the country don't have my interests at heart. You don't know my interests. What if my interests are to eat shit and die
January 29, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Don't tell me that the billionaires running the country don't have my interests at heart. You don't know my interests. What if my interests are to eat shit and die
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I know he wasn't for everyone, but Lynch is and will always be in my top three director list. The images and sound he captured on screen were some of the most unique and amazing I've ever seen. It was like he had a direct line to my dreams and nightmares.
January 16, 2025 at 7:29 PM
I know he wasn't for everyone, but Lynch is and will always be in my top three director list. The images and sound he captured on screen were some of the most unique and amazing I've ever seen. It was like he had a direct line to my dreams and nightmares.
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in your dying moments you see a Jackie Chan style closing credits blooper reel of all the times you hurt yourself
December 24, 2024 at 5:30 AM
in your dying moments you see a Jackie Chan style closing credits blooper reel of all the times you hurt yourself
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I heard there was a secret ooze that turned four reptiles into dudes, but you don’t really care for turtles do ya
It’s a cold and it’s a broken “cowabunga”
December 22, 2024 at 11:27 PM
I heard there was a secret ooze that turned four reptiles into dudes, but you don’t really care for turtles do ya
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telling the Benihana chef he's made a powerful enemy today but it's drowned out by laughter as he flicks a 7th shrimp into my shirt pocket
December 11, 2024 at 5:16 PM
telling the Benihana chef he's made a powerful enemy today but it's drowned out by laughter as he flicks a 7th shrimp into my shirt pocket
Tonight’s Grizzlies/Warriors game
a man and woman are looking at each other and the man is saying `` no mercy '' .
ALT: a man and woman are looking at each other and the man is saying `` no mercy '' .
media.tenor.com
December 20, 2024 at 2:42 AM
Tonight’s Grizzlies/Warriors game
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Homeschoolers should have to pay double property taxes to offset the cost of regular kids having to explain everything to them later
December 14, 2024 at 12:51 PM
Homeschoolers should have to pay double property taxes to offset the cost of regular kids having to explain everything to them later
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1 in 50 US billionaires will have a position in the Trump administration
The press has thought long & hard on it and decided that the word they’re using to describe this group of rightwing billionaires is “populist”
December 6, 2024 at 1:56 PM
1 in 50 US billionaires will have a position in the Trump administration
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Ja getting a whistle over Luka
elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a wall of fire .
ALT: elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a wall of fire .
media.tenor.com
December 4, 2024 at 3:30 AM
Ja getting a whistle over Luka
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One thing many people are not aware of is that Apple has an entire building full of engineers who are working to push the boundaries of physics in seeing how far an AirPods case can fling the individual earbuds in different directions whenever you drop the case.
November 29, 2024 at 7:15 PM
One thing many people are not aware of is that Apple has an entire building full of engineers who are working to push the boundaries of physics in seeing how far an AirPods case can fling the individual earbuds in different directions whenever you drop the case.
November 29, 2024 at 3:11 AM
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I. JUST. WANT. THE. RECIPE. I. DON'T. WANT. FOUR. PAGES. OF. STORY. ABOUT. HOW. THIS. WAS. YOUR. AUNT. LINDA'S. FAVORITE. DISH. ON. WINTER. ESCAPES. TO. THE. MOUNTAINS.
November 27, 2024 at 4:08 PM
I. JUST. WANT. THE. RECIPE. I. DON'T. WANT. FOUR. PAGES. OF. STORY. ABOUT. HOW. THIS. WAS. YOUR. AUNT. LINDA'S. FAVORITE. DISH. ON. WINTER. ESCAPES. TO. THE. MOUNTAINS.
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I find it so funny when people are like, “I like Lin-Manuel Miranda, I just wish he weren’t so corny.” Like, what do you think the #1 requirement for a composer of musical theatre is.
November 28, 2024 at 2:53 PM
I find it so funny when people are like, “I like Lin-Manuel Miranda, I just wish he weren’t so corny.” Like, what do you think the #1 requirement for a composer of musical theatre is.
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Coming up next on the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, The Butthole Surfers perform excerpts of their new musical Hairway to Steven on the Jif Creamy Peanut Butter Float.
November 28, 2024 at 4:05 PM
Coming up next on the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, The Butthole Surfers perform excerpts of their new musical Hairway to Steven on the Jif Creamy Peanut Butter Float.
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time to begin year one of making THE HOLDOVERS an annual thanksgiving movie tradition
November 28, 2024 at 7:13 AM
time to begin year one of making THE HOLDOVERS an annual thanksgiving movie tradition