DS9 Assay Office Clerk
@ds9assayoffice.bsky.social
The assay office is the most secure location on the station.
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
*staring into the vastness of creation* you got any games on this?
December 27, 2025 at 4:00 AM
*staring into the vastness of creation* you got any games on this?
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
i'm only being homophobic so i can get in to heaven and change God's mind
December 26, 2025 at 3:00 AM
i'm only being homophobic so i can get in to heaven and change God's mind
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
I really hope the dummies over there accidentally do the kind of redacting that’s just highlighting black text in black, easily retrievable, there’s like a 50% chance.
BREAKING: Trump signs a bill to release files on Jeffrey Epstein, bowing to political pressure after months of resistance.
Trump signs bill to release Jeffrey Epstein case files after fighting it for months
President Donald Trump has signed a bill to release files on convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
bit.ly
November 20, 2025 at 2:08 AM
I really hope the dummies over there accidentally do the kind of redacting that’s just highlighting black text in black, easily retrievable, there’s like a 50% chance.
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
The government failed at actually redacting the Epstein files because DOGE cancelled the feds adobe acrobat premium subscription is the funniest shit.
December 24, 2025 at 8:28 PM
The government failed at actually redacting the Epstein files because DOGE cancelled the feds adobe acrobat premium subscription is the funniest shit.
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Ich bin ein labubu
December 25, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Ich bin ein labubu
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
*at a christmas party* oh Rudolph is your favorite reindeer? That’s cool yeah yeah he’s pretty great
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
December 25, 2025 at 4:14 AM
*at a christmas party* oh Rudolph is your favorite reindeer? That’s cool yeah yeah he’s pretty great
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
it's incredible to contemplate: these people don't have enough. they look at your rickety remaining safety nets -- maybe some employer provided health insurance, maybe even a 401k -- and they think: i need to get my greasy lips around those dregs and drink them dry too
December 25, 2025 at 8:00 PM
it's incredible to contemplate: these people don't have enough. they look at your rickety remaining safety nets -- maybe some employer provided health insurance, maybe even a 401k -- and they think: i need to get my greasy lips around those dregs and drink them dry too
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
dropping your pussy down the stairs like a slinky
December 25, 2025 at 4:26 AM
dropping your pussy down the stairs like a slinky
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Pokémon Molly/Pokemon Percocet
December 24, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Pokémon Molly/Pokemon Percocet
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Found the Associated Press article where the existence of this letter was first disclosed two years ago, in response to a FOIA request
It's definitely real
apnews.com/article/jeff...
It's definitely real
apnews.com/article/jeff...
December 23, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Found the Associated Press article where the existence of this letter was first disclosed two years ago, in response to a FOIA request
It's definitely real
apnews.com/article/jeff...
It's definitely real
apnews.com/article/jeff...
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
I just wrote an article about this and decided not to publish it yet. It is in the DOJ files (file got renamed after originally published and taken down. It’s online now). But too many unknowns about whether the letter itself is real or not. Some additional info though:
DOJ briefly uploaded this letter from Jeff Epstein to serial child molester Larry Nassar:
"Our president shares our love of young, nubile girls. When a young beauty walked by he loved to 'grab snatch,' whereas we ended up snatching grub in the mess halls of the system."
"Our president shares our love of young, nubile girls. When a young beauty walked by he loved to 'grab snatch,' whereas we ended up snatching grub in the mess halls of the system."
December 23, 2025 at 6:45 AM
I just wrote an article about this and decided not to publish it yet. It is in the DOJ files (file got renamed after originally published and taken down. It’s online now). But too many unknowns about whether the letter itself is real or not. Some additional info though:
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
DOJ briefly uploaded this letter from Jeff Epstein to serial child molester Larry Nassar:
"Our president shares our love of young, nubile girls. When a young beauty walked by he loved to 'grab snatch,' whereas we ended up snatching grub in the mess halls of the system."
"Our president shares our love of young, nubile girls. When a young beauty walked by he loved to 'grab snatch,' whereas we ended up snatching grub in the mess halls of the system."
December 23, 2025 at 6:03 AM
DOJ briefly uploaded this letter from Jeff Epstein to serial child molester Larry Nassar:
"Our president shares our love of young, nubile girls. When a young beauty walked by he loved to 'grab snatch,' whereas we ended up snatching grub in the mess halls of the system."
"Our president shares our love of young, nubile girls. When a young beauty walked by he loved to 'grab snatch,' whereas we ended up snatching grub in the mess halls of the system."
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
So one thing that's fun about these Epstein files is how easily the "redaction" is defeated by simply dragging your mouse over the text and then using copy+paste (small 🧵)
December 23, 2025 at 10:35 AM
So one thing that's fun about these Epstein files is how easily the "redaction" is defeated by simply dragging your mouse over the text and then using copy+paste (small 🧵)
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
me: so, Mr. Kennedy, now that I've brought you back to life, do you have any idea who was responsible for your assassination?
JFK: How do I make an account on Grindr
JFK: How do I make an account on Grindr
December 19, 2025 at 8:49 PM
me: so, Mr. Kennedy, now that I've brought you back to life, do you have any idea who was responsible for your assassination?
JFK: How do I make an account on Grindr
JFK: How do I make an account on Grindr
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
ur tapeworm is fucking cancelled sis
December 23, 2025 at 3:09 AM
ur tapeworm is fucking cancelled sis
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
i have a lot of social intelligence in the sense that im stupid but i got a lot of smart friends
December 22, 2025 at 3:44 AM
i have a lot of social intelligence in the sense that im stupid but i got a lot of smart friends
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
it's so goofy to believe making software that mimics human thought is related in any meaningful way to making software that thinks. building the most amazing lifelike animatronic horse the world ever saw does not represent progress if your goal is to create a real horse. huge waste of time actually
December 20, 2025 at 2:49 PM
it's so goofy to believe making software that mimics human thought is related in any meaningful way to making software that thinks. building the most amazing lifelike animatronic horse the world ever saw does not represent progress if your goal is to create a real horse. huge waste of time actually
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Ashby, 28, is a former Scientologist and adult convert to the Russian Orthodox Church. She believes abortion should be illegal, but wildly accessible in “abortion speakeasies.” Ashby’s primary issue is that there’s too much nail art on TikTok. She has a tattoo of J.D. Vance but did not vote in 2024
December 19, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Ashby, 28, is a former Scientologist and adult convert to the Russian Orthodox Church. She believes abortion should be illegal, but wildly accessible in “abortion speakeasies.” Ashby’s primary issue is that there’s too much nail art on TikTok. She has a tattoo of J.D. Vance but did not vote in 2024
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
people at the gym staring at me like they’ve never seen someone eat a bowl of Lucky Charms on a stationary bike before
December 19, 2025 at 1:18 PM
people at the gym staring at me like they’ve never seen someone eat a bowl of Lucky Charms on a stationary bike before
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
darkly appropriate that this essentially all goes back to a lack of appropriate compliance practices at Bear Stearns www.nytimes.com/2025/12/16/m...
Scams, Schemes, Ruthless Cons: The Untold Story of How Jeffrey Epstein Got Rich
www.nytimes.com
December 16, 2025 at 4:22 PM
darkly appropriate that this essentially all goes back to a lack of appropriate compliance practices at Bear Stearns www.nytimes.com/2025/12/16/m...
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Securing Christmas presents with shibari bondage ropes
December 19, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Securing Christmas presents with shibari bondage ropes
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
We should regard the mirror to be as sentient as the dog because the dog won't stop barking at it.
December 17, 2025 at 5:15 PM
We should regard the mirror to be as sentient as the dog because the dog won't stop barking at it.