Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
@donutscoffeeme.bsky.social
Queen of stoner munchies. Hedonistic trollop. Fat kid. NSFWish. Pervy humor. General silliness. Mental health realness. Body positive. 42. She/her. FDT. 🌷🌻🏳️🌈
My skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:yap3mq6zjuvocyxwtrdatbuk/feed/aaagwp4n4v4e6
My skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:yap3mq6zjuvocyxwtrdatbuk/feed/aaagwp4n4v4e6
Pinned
Brain like pornhub, body like food network.
Me: I love you more than cheeseburgers!
My kid: I love cheeseburgers.
Oh.
My kid: I love cheeseburgers.
Oh.
November 23, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Me: I love you more than cheeseburgers!
My kid: I love cheeseburgers.
Oh.
My kid: I love cheeseburgers.
Oh.
A group chat for people who struggle with negative self talk but love to build other people up.
November 22, 2025 at 8:24 PM
A group chat for people who struggle with negative self talk but love to build other people up.
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
My alt account would just be all the lyrics that’s been living in my head since the 80’s.
November 22, 2025 at 8:20 PM
My alt account would just be all the lyrics that’s been living in my head since the 80’s.
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
a tv big enough i dont have to get up to see vital plot information typed on a phone screen
November 22, 2025 at 12:11 PM
a tv big enough i dont have to get up to see vital plot information typed on a phone screen
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
WIFE: the doctor said i need a hip replacement
ME: *opens thesaurus* how about “chic”
ME: *opens thesaurus* how about “chic”
November 22, 2025 at 4:52 PM
WIFE: the doctor said i need a hip replacement
ME: *opens thesaurus* how about “chic”
ME: *opens thesaurus* how about “chic”
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
Someone compliments you on your porcelain skin. How does it feel to be compared to a toilet?
November 22, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Someone compliments you on your porcelain skin. How does it feel to be compared to a toilet?
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
Thanksgiving toast idea:
Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest. Drink from me Love!
Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest. Drink from me Love!
November 22, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Thanksgiving toast idea:
Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest. Drink from me Love!
Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest. Drink from me Love!
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
Check out the size of this thing!
*me holding a party-size can of Pringles *
*me holding a party-size can of Pringles *
November 22, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Check out the size of this thing!
*me holding a party-size can of Pringles *
*me holding a party-size can of Pringles *
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
Welcome to your 40s.
The noises and facial expressions you make while working out, having an orgasm, or bending down to put on socks are all now virtually indistinguishable from one another.
The noises and facial expressions you make while working out, having an orgasm, or bending down to put on socks are all now virtually indistinguishable from one another.
November 22, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Welcome to your 40s.
The noises and facial expressions you make while working out, having an orgasm, or bending down to put on socks are all now virtually indistinguishable from one another.
The noises and facial expressions you make while working out, having an orgasm, or bending down to put on socks are all now virtually indistinguishable from one another.
Getting high and sleeping for over 10 hours is amazing until waking up with a back that's loudly announcing we're 42 and can't do that properly anymore.
November 22, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Getting high and sleeping for over 10 hours is amazing until waking up with a back that's loudly announcing we're 42 and can't do that properly anymore.
Being tall and fat feels like trying to look cute while stomping around like Godzilla. Challenge accepted.
November 22, 2025 at 5:28 AM
Being tall and fat feels like trying to look cute while stomping around like Godzilla. Challenge accepted.
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
if you tell your parents that you don’t want to have kids and they look offended, it’s because they’re thinking “damn, why didn’t I think of that“
November 22, 2025 at 3:38 AM
if you tell your parents that you don’t want to have kids and they look offended, it’s because they’re thinking “damn, why didn’t I think of that“
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
I like Black Friday because today at the local grocery I picked up a dagwood sandwich and a bag of frozen shrimp for what I consider a pretty fair price
November 21, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I like Black Friday because today at the local grocery I picked up a dagwood sandwich and a bag of frozen shrimp for what I consider a pretty fair price
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
I'm sexualizing depression
November 22, 2025 at 4:27 AM
I'm sexualizing depression
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
Sometimes I go to bed so I stop fucking eating
November 22, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Sometimes I go to bed so I stop fucking eating
I start entirely too many sentences with "I'll show you my boobs if..."
November 22, 2025 at 3:38 AM
I start entirely too many sentences with "I'll show you my boobs if..."
Hello 911? I made the mistake of laying down and didn't change into laying down attire first.
November 22, 2025 at 3:16 AM
Hello 911? I made the mistake of laying down and didn't change into laying down attire first.
I think that gummy was stronger than I thought.
November 22, 2025 at 12:10 AM
I think that gummy was stronger than I thought.
This filled three 1-gallon storage bags.
I am currently high and can't stop eating it.
I am currently high and can't stop eating it.
I'm attempting to make salt and vinegar chex mix. This will either delight my taste buds or ruin the inside of my mouth. Stay tuned.
November 21, 2025 at 10:26 PM
This filled three 1-gallon storage bags.
I am currently high and can't stop eating it.
I am currently high and can't stop eating it.
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
I just want a cute woman with huge tiddies and a Facebook account to put ads for my stuff for sale on Marketplace, is that too much to ask?
November 21, 2025 at 8:27 PM
I just want a cute woman with huge tiddies and a Facebook account to put ads for my stuff for sale on Marketplace, is that too much to ask?
Wanna get high and forget about serious things for a while?
November 21, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Wanna get high and forget about serious things for a while?
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
Don't interrupt me to tell me something I already know unless it's that I was right.
November 21, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Don't interrupt me to tell me something I already know unless it's that I was right.
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
I've transcended. I can now enjoy a walk in nature without my brain composing a caption about "touching grass"
November 21, 2025 at 8:43 PM
I've transcended. I can now enjoy a walk in nature without my brain composing a caption about "touching grass"
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
I’m more judgy when my underwear matches and my legs are shaved.
November 21, 2025 at 1:31 PM
I’m more judgy when my underwear matches and my legs are shaved.
Reposted by Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
I haven’t been posting lately because looming just outside your window has been taking up too much of my time
November 20, 2025 at 6:12 AM
I haven’t been posting lately because looming just outside your window has been taking up too much of my time