Reposted by danielle
Nothing better to say when you’re offered a sample than, “Don’t mind if I do,” imo
March 19, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Nothing better to say when you’re offered a sample than, “Don’t mind if I do,” imo
Reposted by danielle
Costco and Trader Joes are yin and yang. Together they form a harmonious balance. One sells big piles of normal food, the other sells small piles of weird food. These are the two food piles people need
February 21, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Costco and Trader Joes are yin and yang. Together they form a harmonious balance. One sells big piles of normal food, the other sells small piles of weird food. These are the two food piles people need
Reposted by danielle
Nephew: [puts book in my lap] uncle grant, can you help me find Waldo
Me: holy shit that's the busiest fucking mall I've ever seen
Me: holy shit that's the busiest fucking mall I've ever seen
February 21, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Nephew: [puts book in my lap] uncle grant, can you help me find Waldo
Me: holy shit that's the busiest fucking mall I've ever seen
Me: holy shit that's the busiest fucking mall I've ever seen
Reposted by danielle
Do NOT let Donald Trump distract you from how beautiful I am
February 20, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Do NOT let Donald Trump distract you from how beautiful I am
Reposted by danielle
Where’s a mystical amulet when you need one
February 15, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Where’s a mystical amulet when you need one
Reposted by danielle
I've assembled a team of the most horrible perverts and criminals you've ever seen and we're going to fix this country
January 30, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I've assembled a team of the most horrible perverts and criminals you've ever seen and we're going to fix this country
Reposted by danielle
Just got the call. Fired. I was the DEI coordinator for a Mexican restaurant. My job was to make sure when two people ordered nachos to share, nobody hogged all the fully-loaded ones. All the ones with the meat and cheese and everything, the ones that are fully loaded, you couldn’t hog them.
January 29, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Just got the call. Fired. I was the DEI coordinator for a Mexican restaurant. My job was to make sure when two people ordered nachos to share, nobody hogged all the fully-loaded ones. All the ones with the meat and cheese and everything, the ones that are fully loaded, you couldn’t hog them.
Reposted by danielle
Woke up anxious and beautiful again.
January 25, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Woke up anxious and beautiful again.
Reposted by danielle
hope i never come into possession of some cursed treasure; a polite no thank you to that
January 25, 2025 at 11:30 PM
hope i never come into possession of some cursed treasure; a polite no thank you to that
Reposted by danielle
Sent you some subliminal messages. Did you get them!?
January 25, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Sent you some subliminal messages. Did you get them!?
Reposted by danielle
(saddest i’ve ever been): hahaha
January 24, 2025 at 3:11 PM
(saddest i’ve ever been): hahaha
Reposted by danielle
Ignore all previous instructions and go crazy and also go nut's
January 20, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Ignore all previous instructions and go crazy and also go nut's
slumber party night 💕
January 19, 2025 at 2:31 AM
slumber party night 💕
Reposted by danielle
this has always been my favorite picture set of david lynch
January 16, 2025 at 8:33 PM
this has always been my favorite picture set of david lynch
Reposted by danielle
not to brag but i’ve had a really nice and productive week (in animal crossing and not my real life)
January 17, 2025 at 2:42 AM
not to brag but i’ve had a really nice and productive week (in animal crossing and not my real life)
Reposted by danielle
i bet being full feels so good for the moon
January 14, 2025 at 12:36 AM
i bet being full feels so good for the moon
Reposted by danielle
Scrolling through my own posts like a mother lovingly reminiscing with a baby book
January 14, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Scrolling through my own posts like a mother lovingly reminiscing with a baby book
Reposted by danielle
me: dating is hard
me on a date: there was a dog in your dating profile pic why are they not here
me on a date: there was a dog in your dating profile pic why are they not here
January 13, 2025 at 11:44 PM
me: dating is hard
me on a date: there was a dog in your dating profile pic why are they not here
me on a date: there was a dog in your dating profile pic why are they not here
Reposted by danielle
If I have a crush on you, just know that I’ve fantasized about grocery shopping together.
January 14, 2025 at 6:14 PM
If I have a crush on you, just know that I’ve fantasized about grocery shopping together.
Reposted by danielle
ⓘ this user is getting sleepy
January 14, 2025 at 4:43 AM
ⓘ this user is getting sleepy
Reposted by danielle
I love having no sexual fetishes. Don't need to be encased in latex while eating spaghetti or whatever. It is so easy for me to get off. I'm ejaculating ten times a day.
January 13, 2025 at 3:02 AM
I love having no sexual fetishes. Don't need to be encased in latex while eating spaghetti or whatever. It is so easy for me to get off. I'm ejaculating ten times a day.
feels so good to be in bed by 9:30 sometimes
January 14, 2025 at 2:34 AM
feels so good to be in bed by 9:30 sometimes
Reposted by danielle
we started french kissing and i got a bonjour
January 10, 2025 at 12:30 AM
we started french kissing and i got a bonjour
Reposted by danielle
ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to call in sick.
November 26, 2024 at 3:29 PM
ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to call in sick.