Dad
@daddest.bsky.social
Sometimes we realize stuff.
My father is trying to get a permit for a small garden shed and had the shower epiphany that a city government is a giant HOA.
September 9, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Sometimes we realize stuff.
Brutal.
According to my local parent WhatsApp group, the new school playground insult is: "Your dad paints roundabouts"
September 6, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Brutal.
It’s my day and I’ll cry if I want to.
June 15, 2025 at 2:00 PM
It’s my day and I’ll cry if I want to.
And we were HAPPY
my kids: grandpa what kinds of toys did you have growing up?
my dad: a potato
my dad: a potato
June 7, 2025 at 3:12 AM
And we were HAPPY
Reposted by Dad
Sprauncy [SPRAHN-see] or [SHPRAWN-see]
(adj.)
-Smart or showy in appearance; dapper.
-Showily dressed; fashionable.
Used in a sentence:
“Well get a load of Mr. La-dee-da sprauncy-pants over there with his surtout and top hat! Just who does he think he is?”
(adj.)
-Smart or showy in appearance; dapper.
-Showily dressed; fashionable.
Used in a sentence:
“Well get a load of Mr. La-dee-da sprauncy-pants over there with his surtout and top hat! Just who does he think he is?”
May 25, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Sprauncy [SPRAHN-see] or [SHPRAWN-see]
(adj.)
-Smart or showy in appearance; dapper.
-Showily dressed; fashionable.
Used in a sentence:
“Well get a load of Mr. La-dee-da sprauncy-pants over there with his surtout and top hat! Just who does he think he is?”
(adj.)
-Smart or showy in appearance; dapper.
-Showily dressed; fashionable.
Used in a sentence:
“Well get a load of Mr. La-dee-da sprauncy-pants over there with his surtout and top hat! Just who does he think he is?”
Reposted by Dad
First day in prison, establishing myself as mitochondria
March 18, 2025 at 9:28 PM
First day in prison, establishing myself as mitochondria
My children have learned that when I say “fun fact…” what follows will not be fun for anybody but me
March 7, 2025 at 12:23 PM
My children have learned that when I say “fun fact…” what follows will not be fun for anybody but me
Reposted by Dad
No one in this ball pit is taking me seriously.
December 1, 2024 at 12:26 AM
No one in this ball pit is taking me seriously.
Reposted by Dad
The end of Daylight Saving Time is fun because we get to enjoy an extra hour of the dumbest time in history.
November 3, 2024 at 3:13 PM
The end of Daylight Saving Time is fun because we get to enjoy an extra hour of the dumbest time in history.
Reposted by Dad
You guys wanna get hepped up on espresso beans and listen to James Taylor
June 22, 2024 at 12:08 PM
You guys wanna get hepped up on espresso beans and listen to James Taylor
Reposted by Dad
You could be the pencil to my cassette tape but you playin'
June 8, 2024 at 9:49 AM
You could be the pencil to my cassette tape but you playin'
Reposted by Dad
Trying out quantum entanglement as a new excuse for why I’m running late to work
April 24, 2024 at 2:03 PM
Trying out quantum entanglement as a new excuse for why I’m running late to work
Reposted by Dad
How your email finds me..
February 24, 2024 at 10:30 PM
How your email finds me..
Reposted by Dad
My favorite thing about winter is that my skin looks like it’s been dusted with Parmesan
January 17, 2024 at 5:47 PM
My favorite thing about winter is that my skin looks like it’s been dusted with Parmesan
Repost with your earliest childhood crush from film/tv
January 10, 2024 at 3:33 AM
Repost with your earliest childhood crush from film/tv
Sleep in a few more minutes. We don’t have to rush into the day.
January 10, 2024 at 2:14 AM
Sleep in a few more minutes. We don’t have to rush into the day.
Reposted by Dad
Feeling completely disconnected from every facet of society isn’t as liberating as I’d hoped.
January 7, 2024 at 6:49 PM
Feeling completely disconnected from every facet of society isn’t as liberating as I’d hoped.
Reposted by Dad
Bluesky invite codes are now like zucchini you leave on someone's porch.
January 5, 2024 at 11:51 PM
Bluesky invite codes are now like zucchini you leave on someone's porch.
Reposted by Dad
Some days you just gotta do a few sweet kung fu moves and carry on
December 30, 2023 at 11:10 PM
Some days you just gotta do a few sweet kung fu moves and carry on
Reposted by Dad
I will try to explode you with my brain if you wave me on when you have the right of way.
December 19, 2023 at 3:40 AM
I will try to explode you with my brain if you wave me on when you have the right of way.
Reposted by Dad
Having no children to will them to, I donate my bags full of plastic bags to the charity shop.
December 24, 2023 at 5:26 AM
Having no children to will them to, I donate my bags full of plastic bags to the charity shop.
Reposted by Dad
Wanna feel old? The people born in 2000 are now 56.
December 20, 2023 at 1:50 AM
Wanna feel old? The people born in 2000 are now 56.
Reposted by Dad
I absolutely have daddy issues. My dad is the best man I know, funny without ever being unkind, honest, cares about everyone and has always been naturally inclusive and accepting, so yes I have daddy issues knowing this is completely possible and so many men I know are not that
December 17, 2023 at 7:00 PM
I absolutely have daddy issues. My dad is the best man I know, funny without ever being unkind, honest, cares about everyone and has always been naturally inclusive and accepting, so yes I have daddy issues knowing this is completely possible and so many men I know are not that
Reposted by Dad
The sluttiest thing a man can do is wear a grandpa sweater
November 25, 2023 at 6:27 PM
The sluttiest thing a man can do is wear a grandpa sweater