Eddie Mayhem
@cptkarnage.bsky.social
he/him. I play a lot of D&D. I watch a lot of anime. I read a lot of sci-fi, horror, & fantasy. Veteran. Grandpa. Foamcrafter. Pagan. Forever DM. Filthy Liberal. 3D Printing Neophyte.
Pinned
Eddie Mayhem
@cptkarnage.bsky.social
· Dec 5
I used to have silly thoughts and share them on the bird app, and a handful of people seemed to enjoy them, but now all I've got is angst, existential dread, and an ingrown toenail.
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
What a strange time to be a person with common sense.
September 25, 2023 at 8:43 AM
What a strange time to be a person with common sense.
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
Squeezing my wife's ass gives me the same dopamine rush as squeezing a perfectly ripened avocado.
January 17, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Squeezing my wife's ass gives me the same dopamine rush as squeezing a perfectly ripened avocado.
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
I’m more of an unacquired taste.
January 16, 2025 at 11:01 PM
I’m more of an unacquired taste.
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
Bouncy castle owners are actually really grateful if you threaten to blow the entire place up.
January 18, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Bouncy castle owners are actually really grateful if you threaten to blow the entire place up.
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
When more than five bubbas gather, it’s called a Hubba of Bubbas
January 18, 2025 at 1:27 PM
When more than five bubbas gather, it’s called a Hubba of Bubbas
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
A guy should be able to wear denim bib overalls without a shirt without people making assumptions about his intelligence. Sometimes a fella just wants to let the sideboobs breathe a little in public without judgment.
January 18, 2025 at 2:19 PM
A guy should be able to wear denim bib overalls without a shirt without people making assumptions about his intelligence. Sometimes a fella just wants to let the sideboobs breathe a little in public without judgment.
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
The bit in a Metroid game where Samus gets injured and loses all her equipment but it's me spilling hot water on myself when making spaghetti
January 18, 2025 at 2:20 PM
The bit in a Metroid game where Samus gets injured and loses all her equipment but it's me spilling hot water on myself when making spaghetti
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
To this day, one Susanna Hoffs eye roll will make me masturbate with the vigor of a thousand Beliebers.
a woman singing into a microphone with a serious look on her face
ALT: a woman singing into a microphone with a serious look on her face
media.tenor.com
January 18, 2025 at 2:29 PM
To this day, one Susanna Hoffs eye roll will make me masturbate with the vigor of a thousand Beliebers.
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
Stop fucking up other people's peace because you don't have any yourself.
January 16, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Stop fucking up other people's peace because you don't have any yourself.
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
I bet it’s okay to eat a little bit of lava
January 15, 2025 at 4:16 AM
I bet it’s okay to eat a little bit of lava
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
FRIEND: when was the last time you were like *truly* happy?
ME: hmm…probably around 6th grade
FRIEND, face softening: oh…that long ago? 🥺
ME: hmm…probably around 6th grade
FRIEND, face softening: oh…that long ago? 🥺
January 1, 2025 at 7:03 PM
FRIEND: when was the last time you were like *truly* happy?
ME: hmm…probably around 6th grade
FRIEND, face softening: oh…that long ago? 🥺
ME: hmm…probably around 6th grade
FRIEND, face softening: oh…that long ago? 🥺
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
The Cabernet -to- Assembled Grandchild's Toy ratio is tilting heavily toward the wine,.. one glass for me, one bolt for the toy. I'm convinced these build instructions were written by none other than the Grinch.
At this rate, this 2 story playhouse might be ready by New Year's day.
At this rate, this 2 story playhouse might be ready by New Year's day.
December 25, 2024 at 3:02 AM
The Cabernet -to- Assembled Grandchild's Toy ratio is tilting heavily toward the wine,.. one glass for me, one bolt for the toy. I'm convinced these build instructions were written by none other than the Grinch.
At this rate, this 2 story playhouse might be ready by New Year's day.
At this rate, this 2 story playhouse might be ready by New Year's day.
The Cabernet -to- Assembled Grandchild's Toy ratio is tilting heavily toward the wine,.. one glass for me, one bolt for the toy. I'm convinced these build instructions were written by none other than the Grinch.
At this rate, this 2 story playhouse might be ready by New Year's day.
At this rate, this 2 story playhouse might be ready by New Year's day.
December 25, 2024 at 3:02 AM
The Cabernet -to- Assembled Grandchild's Toy ratio is tilting heavily toward the wine,.. one glass for me, one bolt for the toy. I'm convinced these build instructions were written by none other than the Grinch.
At this rate, this 2 story playhouse might be ready by New Year's day.
At this rate, this 2 story playhouse might be ready by New Year's day.
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
Early warning signs were present that he was fixated on destroying CEOs; it is reported that as a boy, Magnione excelled at a board game whose entire point was to corner and kill the king.
December 10, 2024 at 2:52 PM
Early warning signs were present that he was fixated on destroying CEOs; it is reported that as a boy, Magnione excelled at a board game whose entire point was to corner and kill the king.
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
✨remember to roundhouse kick today right in the panty hamster✨
December 10, 2024 at 4:42 PM
✨remember to roundhouse kick today right in the panty hamster✨
TIL: Publix sells devil fruits!
December 5, 2024 at 11:54 PM
TIL: Publix sells devil fruits!
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich
December 5, 2024 at 7:06 PM
My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
All I want for Christmas is a domesticated raccoon that wants to eat lasagna with me & go on quirky adventures. It would also be nice if the raccoon could do magic but I understand that is asking a lot and therefore, it is not required.
December 5, 2024 at 10:11 PM
All I want for Christmas is a domesticated raccoon that wants to eat lasagna with me & go on quirky adventures. It would also be nice if the raccoon could do magic but I understand that is asking a lot and therefore, it is not required.
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
Batman, going around to the front door, absolutely PISSED that crime is happening in a building without a skylight
December 20, 2023 at 5:21 PM
Batman, going around to the front door, absolutely PISSED that crime is happening in a building without a skylight
Reposted by Eddie Mayhem
Depression is like being told happiness is right around the corner but you live in a circle
December 5, 2024 at 5:00 AM
Depression is like being told happiness is right around the corner but you live in a circle