@chertles.bsky.social
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Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
December 12, 2025 at 10:27 AM
Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
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My daughter repeatedly addressing the doctor as "bro" and "bruh" is sending me
December 11, 2025 at 4:19 PM
My daughter repeatedly addressing the doctor as "bro" and "bruh" is sending me
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I had painful shingles on my shoulder and the NP I worked with wrote an RX for Valtrex which also treats genital herpes.
I went to Target to pick it up and the pharmacist was a very attractive woman about my age.
Her: Hey are you Dr. Tom? I get your scripts all the time! Here's your Valtrex.
I went to Target to pick it up and the pharmacist was a very attractive woman about my age.
Her: Hey are you Dr. Tom? I get your scripts all the time! Here's your Valtrex.
people gotta talk about their shingles experiences. no one is going to enjoy this
All over my FB people talking about their bad experiences with shingles vax and dissuading each other from getting it! We need to give people real info on how to mitigate the symtoms caused by vaccines because vaccines are always better than meeting a virus unprepared. Yet drs aren't coaching ppl
December 9, 2025 at 4:18 AM
I had painful shingles on my shoulder and the NP I worked with wrote an RX for Valtrex which also treats genital herpes.
I went to Target to pick it up and the pharmacist was a very attractive woman about my age.
Her: Hey are you Dr. Tom? I get your scripts all the time! Here's your Valtrex.
I went to Target to pick it up and the pharmacist was a very attractive woman about my age.
Her: Hey are you Dr. Tom? I get your scripts all the time! Here's your Valtrex.
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Consider the following before adopting a Manticore for your family
December 3, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Consider the following before adopting a Manticore for your family
My dog at the back door:
Let me out. Let me out. Let me ouuuut
Me:
Lets dog out
Dog, immediately upon stepping outside:
What the fuck. Why did you let me out. I want in. Let me in. Let me innnn
Let me out. Let me out. Let me ouuuut
Me:
Lets dog out
Dog, immediately upon stepping outside:
What the fuck. Why did you let me out. I want in. Let me in. Let me innnn
November 26, 2025 at 8:32 PM
My dog at the back door:
Let me out. Let me out. Let me ouuuut
Me:
Lets dog out
Dog, immediately upon stepping outside:
What the fuck. Why did you let me out. I want in. Let me in. Let me innnn
Let me out. Let me out. Let me ouuuut
Me:
Lets dog out
Dog, immediately upon stepping outside:
What the fuck. Why did you let me out. I want in. Let me in. Let me innnn
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you don’t hate pie, you hate the pie enjoyer’s zest for life
November 25, 2025 at 10:00 PM
you don’t hate pie, you hate the pie enjoyer’s zest for life
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Report: It Pretty Incredible That Americans Entrusted With Driving Cars https://theonion.com/report-it-pretty-incredible-that-americans-entrusted-w-1819574734/
November 25, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Report: It Pretty Incredible That Americans Entrusted With Driving Cars https://theonion.com/report-it-pretty-incredible-that-americans-entrusted-w-1819574734/
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It's a great cosmic joke that neurodivergence both runs in families and gets diagnosed based on parent reports. I was diagnosed at 30 because a man who has eaten potatoes every day for 57 years and a woman who collects loose buttons decided I was a perfectly normal child.
November 15, 2025 at 5:10 AM
It's a great cosmic joke that neurodivergence both runs in families and gets diagnosed based on parent reports. I was diagnosed at 30 because a man who has eaten potatoes every day for 57 years and a woman who collects loose buttons decided I was a perfectly normal child.
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Google Maps desperately an "avoid travel roads" route option
November 2, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Google Maps desperately an "avoid travel roads" route option
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interior design where you're just randomly pressing buttons for yellow gold, white marble, and crystal chandelier to remind everyone you're very rich
October 31, 2025 at 11:35 PM
interior design where you're just randomly pressing buttons for yellow gold, white marble, and crystal chandelier to remind everyone you're very rich
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you don't understand. as someone who isn't inherently good at art, stealing paintings from the museum is the *only* way i'm able to express myself creatively. i wouldn't be able to paint beautiful portraits. but by breaking into a museum and stealing the paintings, now i am
August 3, 2025 at 7:24 PM
you don't understand. as someone who isn't inherently good at art, stealing paintings from the museum is the *only* way i'm able to express myself creatively. i wouldn't be able to paint beautiful portraits. but by breaking into a museum and stealing the paintings, now i am
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Every A.I. CEO is like “We invented a robot that can fuck your wife so you have more free time to mow the lawn!”
October 10, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Every A.I. CEO is like “We invented a robot that can fuck your wife so you have more free time to mow the lawn!”
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When your custom character appears in a cut scene
October 6, 2025 at 5:06 PM
When your custom character appears in a cut scene
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i feel like im going crazy bc housing prices are crushing me and every day i wake up and see the political convo being "is cantaloupe is woke?" "did TGIF change its logo?" "are we renaming new mexico to new america?"
October 2, 2025 at 2:57 AM
i feel like im going crazy bc housing prices are crushing me and every day i wake up and see the political convo being "is cantaloupe is woke?" "did TGIF change its logo?" "are we renaming new mexico to new america?"
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before and after hegseth's directive
September 30, 2025 at 10:40 PM
before and after hegseth's directive
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ICE in particular has completely blown up its credibility - in legal terms, its entitlement to a presumption of regularity - and so taking their claims on face value is a grievous error.
State panel revokes Des Moines superintendent’s license following his arrest by federal immigration officers
State panel revokes Des Moines superintendent's license following Friday arrest
A state educational licensing board has revoked the license of Des Moines Public Schools Superintendent Ian Roberts following his arrest by federal immigration officers last week.
www.thegazette.com
September 29, 2025 at 6:23 PM
ICE in particular has completely blown up its credibility - in legal terms, its entitlement to a presumption of regularity - and so taking their claims on face value is a grievous error.
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Yes, TikTok will spy on and manipulate you with propaganda and misinformation, but at least it will destroy your attention span and distract you from doing things you actually enjoy.
September 28, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Yes, TikTok will spy on and manipulate you with propaganda and misinformation, but at least it will destroy your attention span and distract you from doing things you actually enjoy.
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my mom took tylenol when she was pregnant, which made me super focused on menswear and now i have a million followers on twitter
September 22, 2025 at 11:10 PM
my mom took tylenol when she was pregnant, which made me super focused on menswear and now i have a million followers on twitter
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If you, like me, are the parent of a neuro-atypical child dreading this autism press conference, please remember: These are the people hurting our kids. Not us. They are the ones stigmatizing and pathologizing them. They are the ones peddling untested science. And we should be very, very angry.
September 22, 2025 at 9:03 PM
If you, like me, are the parent of a neuro-atypical child dreading this autism press conference, please remember: These are the people hurting our kids. Not us. They are the ones stigmatizing and pathologizing them. They are the ones peddling untested science. And we should be very, very angry.
The crime is coming from inside the courthouse
September 17, 2025 at 5:08 PM
The crime is coming from inside the courthouse
Today I learned not to ask a teenager if your pants look stupid unless you are emotionally prepared for the answe
June 11, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Today I learned not to ask a teenager if your pants look stupid unless you are emotionally prepared for the answe
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