jeremy kaplowitz
banner
jeremykaplowitz.com
jeremy kaplowitz
@jeremykaplowitz.com
official mayor of new york city (aka "the big apple")

plz follow @quorators.bsky.social ty
Pinned
it would do me a great honor if you watched the table read for CHRONICLES OF TREVOR, the pilot i wrote with Phil Jamesson that has been described as a "business manager isekai"

ft. Demi Adejuyigbe, Josh Gondelman, Michael Longfellow, Natalie Walker, Ike Ufomadu, Dina Hashem, Tim Platt, & Eli Yudin
CHRONICLES OF TREVOR w/ Demi Adejuyigbe, Michael Longfellow, Josh Gondelman & more!
YouTube video by Chronicles of Trevor
www.youtube.com
thank god 2026 is going to be a good year
December 26, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Reposted by jeremy kaplowitz
December 25, 2025 at 11:19 PM
the "you kill him, you become him" rule from The Santa Clause should be applied to all professions
December 25, 2025 at 5:10 PM
absolutely not
IMPORTANT QUESTION: is having sex with Ted bestiality?

full episode: youtu.be/KjUJFyh2Ycc
December 24, 2025 at 9:36 PM
kinda fun how the new conspiracy theory is that Epstein DID kill himself
DOJ responds to the alleged Epstein letter to Nassar:
December 24, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Reposted by jeremy kaplowitz
a highlight of my year @concertshub.bsky.social
PUP, Jeff Rosenstock, & Ekko Astral "You Oughta Know" Alanis Morissette Cover LIVE
YouTube video by Concerts Hub
www.youtube.com
December 23, 2025 at 5:52 PM
"Walker" is a biopic about a guy from the 1850s that looks like this and it's a fucking masterpiece
December 23, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Reposted by jeremy kaplowitz
in this episode we find an irish comedian named Jimeoin and say his name wrong 100 times
NEW QUORATORS w/ the great EVA ANDERSON!

→ How can I please a woman with big ass in bed?

→ Based on my questions, do you think I'm a dangerous person?

→ Can magic that "exists" in movies be considered "real"?

AND MORE! GO LISTEN: youtu.be/KjUJFyh2Ycc
Natural Mysteries w/ Eva Anderson // Quorators Full Episode
YouTube video by Quorators
youtu.be
December 22, 2025 at 6:55 PM
in this episode we find an irish comedian named Jimeoin and say his name wrong 100 times
NEW QUORATORS w/ the great EVA ANDERSON!

→ How can I please a woman with big ass in bed?

→ Based on my questions, do you think I'm a dangerous person?

→ Can magic that "exists" in movies be considered "real"?

AND MORE! GO LISTEN: youtu.be/KjUJFyh2Ycc
Natural Mysteries w/ Eva Anderson // Quorators Full Episode
YouTube video by Quorators
youtu.be
December 22, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Reposted by jeremy kaplowitz
NEW QUORATORS w/ the great EVA ANDERSON!

→ How can I please a woman with big ass in bed?

→ Based on my questions, do you think I'm a dangerous person?

→ Can magic that "exists" in movies be considered "real"?

AND MORE! GO LISTEN: youtu.be/KjUJFyh2Ycc
Natural Mysteries w/ Eva Anderson // Quorators Full Episode
YouTube video by Quorators
youtu.be
December 22, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Reposted by jeremy kaplowitz
got my adhd upgraded to ad4k
December 21, 2025 at 6:52 AM
Say what you will about the ethics of AI, but we can actually use it to get around the Trump administration's censorship of the Jeffrey Epstein photos. I selected this black square and asked ChatGPT to fill in the blank. This is what it revealed to me:
December 21, 2025 at 6:08 AM
pickpocketing someone and then putting the money in a big wide-open pocket on the back of my coat
It's a whole genre it's beautiful
December 21, 2025 at 4:58 AM
been studying so hard, i think i'm finally ready to pass the mirror test 💪
December 21, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Reposted by jeremy kaplowitz
cowboy who stubbed his toe:
December 21, 2025 at 12:07 AM
come on, they even got to Snapple Facts?!
December 20, 2025 at 10:43 PM
most absurd part is imagining Jimmy Fallon walking to work
December 20, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Reposted by jeremy kaplowitz
HI INTERNET
hate that I need to do this, but calling in my community to help me out!

Square freezing my account and holding my funds was the straw that broke the camels back, tbh. Here’s An incredibly long block of text, but all provides transparency and context behind this
December 20, 2025 at 7:47 PM
the Avatar park at Disney World looks like humans finally conquered and paved through Pandora lol
December 20, 2025 at 6:17 AM
me before watching Avatar Fire and Ash: "i bet the sky people aren't so bad"

me after watching Avatar Fire and Ash: "I FUCKING HATE SKY PEOPLE!!!!"
December 20, 2025 at 3:35 AM
interesting to have a memorial center for a guy who is alive but maybe they know something i don't
I’m currently outside of the Kennedy Center:
December 19, 2025 at 8:20 PM
idk how well this translates to Clip Mode but it was really funny when it happened
Watch the full episode Alex Bullshit Week: youtu.be/0q7aTRcaBtA
December 19, 2025 at 8:15 PM
it's funny that whales exist in the Avatar movies. every single planet with life has at least one species that's like "fuck it, being on land sucks. i'm going back in the ocean"
December 19, 2025 at 6:15 PM
my resolution this year is to do more trickery
December 19, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Reposted by jeremy kaplowitz
a week ago, i released new original music for the first time in years. i like these two tracks quite a bit. check em out

ampl.ink/k8pe3

and here's to more new music in 2026 🍻
Infinighost - Never Let a Tesla Merge - Single
Stream on your favourite service through AmplifyWorld
ampl.ink
December 19, 2025 at 5:45 PM