Chaotic Rants
@chaoticrants.bsky.social
I am desperately trying to think up something witty to put here.
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I’ve run the water in the bathroom just so someone outside the door would think I’m washing my hands when I’m not. This is who you’re following.
August 19, 2025 at 12:49 AM
I’ve run the water in the bathroom just so someone outside the door would think I’m washing my hands when I’m not. This is who you’re following.
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I’m fucktose intolerant
November 14, 2025 at 3:46 AM
I’m fucktose intolerant
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i think i don’t wanna know what my cat calls me
November 14, 2025 at 4:49 AM
i think i don’t wanna know what my cat calls me
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Not as many nature shows sponsored by life insurance companies as there used to be.
November 14, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Not as many nature shows sponsored by life insurance companies as there used to be.
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America's most notorious child rapist, Jeffrey Epstein, said this man was the worst person he'd ever met. Let that sink in.
November 14, 2025 at 12:36 AM
America's most notorious child rapist, Jeffrey Epstein, said this man was the worst person he'd ever met. Let that sink in.
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Im a fraud. I eat trail mix but never go on a trail. I drink Gatorade but no part of me is gator. I buy kind bars and throw them at people
November 13, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Im a fraud. I eat trail mix but never go on a trail. I drink Gatorade but no part of me is gator. I buy kind bars and throw them at people
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I use my middle finger to block.
November 13, 2025 at 2:41 AM
I use my middle finger to block.
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The whole mall is strippers?
November 13, 2025 at 1:20 AM
The whole mall is strippers?
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Ok so i like to listen to audiobooks while I shower, and the audiobook I’m listening to now is Psycho. You see my dilemma
November 12, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Ok so i like to listen to audiobooks while I shower, and the audiobook I’m listening to now is Psycho. You see my dilemma
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I think that song “All by Myself” was written about my preferred sexual position
I think that song “All the Small Things” was written about the dick pics I’ve received.
November 11, 2025 at 4:37 AM
I think that song “All by Myself” was written about my preferred sexual position
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if you’re gonna call them blinkers instead of indicators when changing lanes, shouldn’t they be winkers
October 22, 2025 at 3:29 PM
if you’re gonna call them blinkers instead of indicators when changing lanes, shouldn’t they be winkers
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Deleted scene from Predator (1987) 😂😂
October 22, 2025 at 6:09 AM
Deleted scene from Predator (1987) 😂😂
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Peacock is a terrible name for a boy
October 22, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Peacock is a terrible name for a boy
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People just fuck up everything by talking politics.
October 22, 2025 at 4:03 AM
People just fuck up everything by talking politics.
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The West Wing is now just the Wing.
October 22, 2025 at 2:10 AM
The West Wing is now just the Wing.
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Assume the best, get burned. Assume the worst, get burned.
October 15, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Assume the best, get burned. Assume the worst, get burned.
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they’re a 10, but their personality is like listening to Americans narrate a soccer game
October 15, 2025 at 12:54 AM
they’re a 10, but their personality is like listening to Americans narrate a soccer game
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The soul-crushing thing of it is knowing that if I went to bed right now and got 9 hours sleep…I’d still be tired tomorrow.
October 15, 2025 at 2:35 AM
The soul-crushing thing of it is knowing that if I went to bed right now and got 9 hours sleep…I’d still be tired tomorrow.
I hate typing "raven" into a search bar and getting the old Cleveland football team in purple uniforms.
October 14, 2025 at 6:11 PM
I hate typing "raven" into a search bar and getting the old Cleveland football team in purple uniforms.
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my parenting book would just be a series of sighs of different lengths and varying punctuations for different occasions
October 13, 2025 at 9:30 PM
my parenting book would just be a series of sighs of different lengths and varying punctuations for different occasions
I have never been told that I am not funny by someone who has seen me naked.
October 14, 2025 at 3:19 PM
I have never been told that I am not funny by someone who has seen me naked.
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The deployment of tear gas throughout the Chicago area is a growing health concern. ICE is deploying tear gas in residential neighborhoods, near children, playgrounds, stores, etc. What are the health implications on our communities?
October 12, 2025 at 7:53 PM
The deployment of tear gas throughout the Chicago area is a growing health concern. ICE is deploying tear gas in residential neighborhoods, near children, playgrounds, stores, etc. What are the health implications on our communities?
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Hear me out, a website for selling the stuff that you bought when you were too drunk and ergo meet like minded idiots.
October 12, 2025 at 10:40 AM
Hear me out, a website for selling the stuff that you bought when you were too drunk and ergo meet like minded idiots.
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Can’t spell Uranus without u n us
(Does that make any sense?)
(Does that make any sense?)
October 13, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Can’t spell Uranus without u n us
(Does that make any sense?)
(Does that make any sense?)
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I am drunk.
Not bang your Mom with the lights on drunk, but still pretty hammered.
Not bang your Mom with the lights on drunk, but still pretty hammered.
October 13, 2025 at 1:53 AM
I am drunk.
Not bang your Mom with the lights on drunk, but still pretty hammered.
Not bang your Mom with the lights on drunk, but still pretty hammered.