Madame Sosostris
@causamdicere.bsky.social
Famous clairvoyante[...] with a wicked pack of cards. Reasonably erudite, I guess. (Expect to find: books, dogs [mine, specifically], movies, New York, sports, transit takes)
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
"Malort advent calendar" is already such an unhinged concept but every little window just having Malort in it really pushes it over the edge into something transcendently funny
November 15, 2025 at 12:54 AM
"Malort advent calendar" is already such an unhinged concept but every little window just having Malort in it really pushes it over the edge into something transcendently funny
tech bros (23, have never set foot in a kitchen): what if your toaster oven was powered by the cloud and also blockchain and there was a way to require microtransactions for slightly crispier toast
me (36, big fan of creamy soups): what if the immersion blender wasn't so annoying to wash
me (36, big fan of creamy soups): what if the immersion blender wasn't so annoying to wash
November 13, 2025 at 12:55 AM
tech bros (23, have never set foot in a kitchen): what if your toaster oven was powered by the cloud and also blockchain and there was a way to require microtransactions for slightly crispier toast
me (36, big fan of creamy soups): what if the immersion blender wasn't so annoying to wash
me (36, big fan of creamy soups): what if the immersion blender wasn't so annoying to wash
Apropos of the emails that are like "fwd: fwd: fwd: re: crime time this friday at your mansion"
November 12, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Apropos of the emails that are like "fwd: fwd: fwd: re: crime time this friday at your mansion"
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
November 12, 2025 at 8:19 PM
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
Every time someone’s like “put that in the louvre,” my head now goes “and then steal it from the louvre, the security password is louvre”
November 11, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Every time someone’s like “put that in the louvre,” my head now goes “and then steal it from the louvre, the security password is louvre”
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
John Woo: ‘Someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my film is dying.’
November 10, 2025 at 11:23 PM
John Woo: ‘Someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my film is dying.’
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
history will ultimately decide this but i think joyce carol oates might have just landed the most devastating burn in human history. like the death star trench run of posting
November 10, 2025 at 7:03 PM
history will ultimately decide this but i think joyce carol oates might have just landed the most devastating burn in human history. like the death star trench run of posting
If you have inseam length in garment details please fucking structure your database so I can also filter by it
November 10, 2025 at 5:12 PM
If you have inseam length in garment details please fucking structure your database so I can also filter by it
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
supreme court poised to side with "No We Shouldn't" in landmark case "We Should Shoot The Economy In The Head For No Reason v. No We Shouldn't"
Gorsuch finally speaks, and oh yeah, he's against Trump. Alito also sounded skeptical, which is surprising to me. Regardless, there will plainly be a lopsided majority to strike down the tariffs.
The government better start working on its Plan B...
The government better start working on its Plan B...
November 5, 2025 at 5:22 PM
supreme court poised to side with "No We Shouldn't" in landmark case "We Should Shoot The Economy In The Head For No Reason v. No We Shouldn't"
She does not care that I want more coffee
November 5, 2025 at 2:00 PM
She does not care that I want more coffee
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
Of course, now he’s just Andrew Mountbatten Windsor Cuomo.
November 5, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Of course, now he’s just Andrew Mountbatten Windsor Cuomo.
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
A 34-year-old as a politician: My god he's like a baby. It's like they just elected an infant to be their mayor.
A 34-year-old as an athlete: You have to admire the bravery of him attempting that dunk, knowing full well the grim reaper is right behind him.
A 34-year-old as an athlete: You have to admire the bravery of him attempting that dunk, knowing full well the grim reaper is right behind him.
November 5, 2025 at 5:45 AM
A 34-year-old as a politician: My god he's like a baby. It's like they just elected an infant to be their mayor.
A 34-year-old as an athlete: You have to admire the bravery of him attempting that dunk, knowing full well the grim reaper is right behind him.
A 34-year-old as an athlete: You have to admire the bravery of him attempting that dunk, knowing full well the grim reaper is right behind him.
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
Maybe pundits should spend more time in densely packed, left leaning urban areas where the "real Americans" live
November 5, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Maybe pundits should spend more time in densely packed, left leaning urban areas where the "real Americans" live
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
Seems kind of obvious now that looming specter of these results is what killed Dick Cheney.
November 5, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Seems kind of obvious now that looming specter of these results is what killed Dick Cheney.
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
Enjoying an unhurried and delightful meal at The Table Of Success. My waiters keep bringing me off-menu amuse bouches "from the chef." Ah here comes another crudo. Sublime.
November 5, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Enjoying an unhurried and delightful meal at The Table Of Success. My waiters keep bringing me off-menu amuse bouches "from the chef." Ah here comes another crudo. Sublime.
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
Soviet republic of New York takes first key step towards total communism by publicly owning Andrew Cuomo
November 5, 2025 at 3:38 AM
Soviet republic of New York takes first key step towards total communism by publicly owning Andrew Cuomo
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
Farewell sweet Prince
Eric Adams is amazing because when he won every media person was leaping over each to go “this is the normal sane leadership that the political left doesn’t understand normal sane Americans crave” and then every day since that Eric Adams has been like “Leprechauns are real and I’m going to cook one”
November 5, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Farewell sweet Prince
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
Terrible scenes just minutes into the new socialist regime in New York as literally hundreds of billionaires discover mamdani already living rent free in their heads
November 5, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Terrible scenes just minutes into the new socialist regime in New York as literally hundreds of billionaires discover mamdani already living rent free in their heads
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
Bill Ackman gotta be on the third draft of a tweet longer than Middlemarch right now
November 5, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Bill Ackman gotta be on the third draft of a tweet longer than Middlemarch right now
First I was older than athletes and now I'm older than the mayor
November 5, 2025 at 3:16 AM
First I was older than athletes and now I'm older than the mayor
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
I'm mad. Please put in the newspaper that I'm mad.
November 5, 2025 at 2:54 AM
I'm mad. Please put in the newspaper that I'm mad.
Turns out that running a campaign pitched at Boomers who moved to the suburbs in 1987 was, in fact, a bad strategy
November 5, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Turns out that running a campaign pitched at Boomers who moved to the suburbs in 1987 was, in fact, a bad strategy
Reposted by Madame Sosostris
I am hearing that on his deathbed Andrew Cuomo received the light of democratic socialism and unhesitatingly sang the Internationale. Even now he looks down on Bushwick from the gardens of Astoria. Truly there is no god but DSA, and Zohran is his prophet!
November 5, 2025 at 2:39 AM
I am hearing that on his deathbed Andrew Cuomo received the light of democratic socialism and unhesitatingly sang the Internationale. Even now he looks down on Bushwick from the gardens of Astoria. Truly there is no god but DSA, and Zohran is his prophet!
I love Trains Mayor
November 5, 2025 at 2:52 AM
I love Trains Mayor