Reposted
Reposted
date idea:
i’ll cover you with googly eyes and call you a real looker.
i’ll cover you with googly eyes and call you a real looker.
January 17, 2025 at 8:28 PM
date idea:
i’ll cover you with googly eyes and call you a real looker.
i’ll cover you with googly eyes and call you a real looker.
Reposted
Doesn’t everyone keep an emergency pizza in the freezer?
December 1, 2024 at 8:30 PM
Doesn’t everyone keep an emergency pizza in the freezer?
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Dad are we half way there yet?
~ Jon Bon Jovi’s kid probably
~ Jon Bon Jovi’s kid probably
November 30, 2024 at 7:04 AM
Dad are we half way there yet?
~ Jon Bon Jovi’s kid probably
~ Jon Bon Jovi’s kid probably
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Me: I cleared the table for dessert.
Her: Why did you leave these cranberries out?
Me: DON’T TOUCH THEM!!!
Her: What…Why???
Me: You have to let them linger.
Her: Why did you leave these cranberries out?
Me: DON’T TOUCH THEM!!!
Her: What…Why???
Me: You have to let them linger.
November 27, 2024 at 12:46 AM
Me: I cleared the table for dessert.
Her: Why did you leave these cranberries out?
Me: DON’T TOUCH THEM!!!
Her: What…Why???
Me: You have to let them linger.
Her: Why did you leave these cranberries out?
Me: DON’T TOUCH THEM!!!
Her: What…Why???
Me: You have to let them linger.
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I am still all out of charm, please try again tomorrow.
November 28, 2024 at 9:01 PM
I am still all out of charm, please try again tomorrow.
Ok, who brought the bots with them? 🙄
Good morning 🌞
Good morning 🌞
November 29, 2024 at 1:48 PM
Ok, who brought the bots with them? 🙄
Good morning 🌞
Good morning 🌞
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Dear me in 6 months,
You stupid bitch. You never learn.
You stupid bitch. You never learn.
November 28, 2024 at 10:38 PM
Dear me in 6 months,
You stupid bitch. You never learn.
You stupid bitch. You never learn.
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I will not post a “get to know me” skeet so you can “get to know me”. Stalk me like you want to know me or get out.
November 27, 2024 at 7:29 PM
I will not post a “get to know me” skeet so you can “get to know me”. Stalk me like you want to know me or get out.
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Can’t. Stuck in a OCD ritual.
November 27, 2024 at 10:41 PM
Can’t. Stuck in a OCD ritual.
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♫ just like Brian Wilson did ♫
November 27, 2024 at 7:30 PM
♫ just like Brian Wilson did ♫
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YOU ALREADY HAVE NUTMEG CHECK AGAIN
November 27, 2024 at 10:32 PM
YOU ALREADY HAVE NUTMEG CHECK AGAIN
Is it really even the day before Thanksgiving if you haven't forgotten at least one item on your shopping list?
November 27, 2024 at 1:10 PM
Is it really even the day before Thanksgiving if you haven't forgotten at least one item on your shopping list?
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If the depression doesn't get you, then it'll definitely be the depression that gets you.
November 25, 2024 at 9:21 PM
If the depression doesn't get you, then it'll definitely be the depression that gets you.
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My best skeets are already behind me.
November 26, 2024 at 3:50 AM
My best skeets are already behind me.
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Somewhere out in the universe socks and Tupperware lids without matches are having unbridled, kinky, unadulterated sex.
November 26, 2024 at 11:45 AM
Somewhere out in the universe socks and Tupperware lids without matches are having unbridled, kinky, unadulterated sex.
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me: (fakes an incoming punch)
boss: (flinches and moves)
me: you're a little bit scared of me, I like that
boss: (flinches and moves)
me: you're a little bit scared of me, I like that
November 26, 2024 at 12:57 PM
me: (fakes an incoming punch)
boss: (flinches and moves)
me: you're a little bit scared of me, I like that
boss: (flinches and moves)
me: you're a little bit scared of me, I like that
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Them: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you?
Me: apparently yes, yes I would.
Me: apparently yes, yes I would.
November 12, 2024 at 4:29 AM
Them: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you?
Me: apparently yes, yes I would.
Me: apparently yes, yes I would.
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Whatever it is chances are I’m just winging it
November 11, 2024 at 9:43 PM
Whatever it is chances are I’m just winging it
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Don’t skimp on garbage bags. Get the expensive ones. Trust me.
November 12, 2024 at 12:18 AM
Don’t skimp on garbage bags. Get the expensive ones. Trust me.