ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
@frigginfrench.bsky.social
being alive is weird. not a botanist. AHOY!
she/her
she/her
Pinned
*tapping fingernails repeatedly on a headstone* today we're gonna do an unboxing! it's grandma!
it's really weird that boners are in fact boneless and yet somehow can still break. just something I think about sometimes
November 11, 2025 at 2:58 AM
it's really weird that boners are in fact boneless and yet somehow can still break. just something I think about sometimes
me, walking into a psychotherapist's office: hey, do you guys do free samples?
November 10, 2025 at 6:04 PM
me, walking into a psychotherapist's office: hey, do you guys do free samples?
[on hold]
me: this better be the tupac version of this song and not that bruce hornsby sack of shit...
[piano pops off]
me: godDAMMIT
me: this better be the tupac version of this song and not that bruce hornsby sack of shit...
[piano pops off]
me: godDAMMIT
November 10, 2025 at 2:48 PM
[on hold]
me: this better be the tupac version of this song and not that bruce hornsby sack of shit...
[piano pops off]
me: godDAMMIT
me: this better be the tupac version of this song and not that bruce hornsby sack of shit...
[piano pops off]
me: godDAMMIT
I think things would be going a lot better right now if we played a keytar in more songs
November 10, 2025 at 1:41 PM
I think things would be going a lot better right now if we played a keytar in more songs
the best thing about having rad teenagers is playing hide and seek in the dark with them. my 18yo and I have mastered the art of hiding in plain sight and it's the most fun you can have for free 10/10 recommend
November 9, 2025 at 4:15 PM
the best thing about having rad teenagers is playing hide and seek in the dark with them. my 18yo and I have mastered the art of hiding in plain sight and it's the most fun you can have for free 10/10 recommend
going to Home Depot to see if they can color match my valtrex prescription into a paint color
November 9, 2025 at 2:47 PM
going to Home Depot to see if they can color match my valtrex prescription into a paint color
I used to set up my phone in my office just to see what asinine shit my favorite coworker would say. This is from a little over a year ago and it needed to see the light once more #mobydickinthemdown
November 8, 2025 at 1:01 AM
I used to set up my phone in my office just to see what asinine shit my favorite coworker would say. This is from a little over a year ago and it needed to see the light once more #mobydickinthemdown
instead of a funeral, donate my body to a hydraulic press YouTube channel
November 7, 2025 at 2:13 AM
instead of a funeral, donate my body to a hydraulic press YouTube channel
📁 stay informed in 2k25
└📁 the horrors
└📁 the will to live
└⚠️This folder is empty
└📁 the horrors
└📁 the will to live
└⚠️This folder is empty
November 7, 2025 at 2:12 AM
📁 stay informed in 2k25
└📁 the horrors
└📁 the will to live
└⚠️This folder is empty
└📁 the horrors
└📁 the will to live
└⚠️This folder is empty
oh you like sums? name all 41 of them
November 6, 2025 at 6:59 PM
oh you like sums? name all 41 of them
once again thinking about the incestuous Folgers commercial
November 6, 2025 at 3:29 PM
once again thinking about the incestuous Folgers commercial
me, high af, thinking about trees that have crown shyness and how beautiful and strange it is: 😮💨 you guys ever seen videos of trees?
November 6, 2025 at 12:37 AM
me, high af, thinking about trees that have crown shyness and how beautiful and strange it is: 😮💨 you guys ever seen videos of trees?
Reposted by ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
breaking news: the statue of liberty just got her titties out
November 5, 2025 at 2:40 AM
breaking news: the statue of liberty just got her titties out
me: I think we should talk
him: ...about what?
me: I have a confession
him: a real confession or one of your confessions?
me: my least favorite potato is mashed
him: you always do this
him: ...about what?
me: I have a confession
him: a real confession or one of your confessions?
me: my least favorite potato is mashed
him: you always do this
November 5, 2025 at 1:29 AM
me: I think we should talk
him: ...about what?
me: I have a confession
him: a real confession or one of your confessions?
me: my least favorite potato is mashed
him: you always do this
him: ...about what?
me: I have a confession
him: a real confession or one of your confessions?
me: my least favorite potato is mashed
him: you always do this
what if the S thing we've been drawing for years is just the logo of the company running this simulation
November 5, 2025 at 12:26 AM
what if the S thing we've been drawing for years is just the logo of the company running this simulation
me: what song would be your entrance music if you were a wrestler?
my mom: oh, I've already thought about this! jesus take the wheel by carrie underwood!
me: speaking of disappointment, I'm leaving the church
my mom: oh, I've already thought about this! jesus take the wheel by carrie underwood!
me: speaking of disappointment, I'm leaving the church
November 5, 2025 at 12:18 AM
me: what song would be your entrance music if you were a wrestler?
my mom: oh, I've already thought about this! jesus take the wheel by carrie underwood!
me: speaking of disappointment, I'm leaving the church
my mom: oh, I've already thought about this! jesus take the wheel by carrie underwood!
me: speaking of disappointment, I'm leaving the church
I hope all your wildest dreams come true today or I swear to GOD
November 4, 2025 at 4:56 PM
I hope all your wildest dreams come true today or I swear to GOD
Everyone stfu my hair is hairing
November 4, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Everyone stfu my hair is hairing
recently found out a dude I know sleeps in just a t-shirt and nothing else. dude is donald ducking it with his free will.
November 4, 2025 at 1:08 PM
recently found out a dude I know sleeps in just a t-shirt and nothing else. dude is donald ducking it with his free will.
what if the only reason we aren't billionaires is because we didn't forward those chain emails from 1997
November 4, 2025 at 12:28 AM
what if the only reason we aren't billionaires is because we didn't forward those chain emails from 1997
filling a super soaker with tuna and sardine water and challenging my enemies to a duel
November 3, 2025 at 7:09 PM
filling a super soaker with tuna and sardine water and challenging my enemies to a duel
me: *asks a question to appear interested*
you: *starts to answer*
me: *immediately checked out, forgot I even engaged*
you: *starts to answer*
me: *immediately checked out, forgot I even engaged*
November 3, 2025 at 4:12 PM
me: *asks a question to appear interested*
you: *starts to answer*
me: *immediately checked out, forgot I even engaged*
you: *starts to answer*
me: *immediately checked out, forgot I even engaged*
eating a rice krispy treat in the shape of a giant block of cheese for tonight's dose of free will. feel like the prettiest rat in the world.
November 3, 2025 at 1:13 AM
eating a rice krispy treat in the shape of a giant block of cheese for tonight's dose of free will. feel like the prettiest rat in the world.
Reposted by ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
doctors in the 1800s after making a victorian lady cum: ma'am, you have hysteria lmao
June 21, 2025 at 11:08 AM
doctors in the 1800s after making a victorian lady cum: ma'am, you have hysteria lmao
I watch the umbrella performance by tom holland once a fiscal quarter and I don't care who knows it
November 2, 2025 at 8:40 PM
I watch the umbrella performance by tom holland once a fiscal quarter and I don't care who knows it