ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
@frigginfrench.bsky.social
being alive is weird. not a botanist. AHOY!
she/her
she/her
Pinned
*tapping fingernails repeatedly on a headstone* today we're gonna do an unboxing! it's grandma!
me: today I had to work a different location than my usual. it sucked big ass dicks. also the balls.
my 18yo:
me: don't forget the taint... the gooch, if you will.
18:
me: and I will
18: (leaves)
my 18yo:
me: don't forget the taint... the gooch, if you will.
18:
me: and I will
18: (leaves)
December 20, 2025 at 1:14 AM
me: today I had to work a different location than my usual. it sucked big ass dicks. also the balls.
my 18yo:
me: don't forget the taint... the gooch, if you will.
18:
me: and I will
18: (leaves)
my 18yo:
me: don't forget the taint... the gooch, if you will.
18:
me: and I will
18: (leaves)
"you're living in sin" damn dude I didn't realize there was a vital records office in the garden of eden
December 19, 2025 at 11:29 PM
"you're living in sin" damn dude I didn't realize there was a vital records office in the garden of eden
do you ever think about how our taxes pay for a team of people to keep the president alive? he doesn't need the secret service, he needs his foot chewed off by a golf course alligator on live tv
December 19, 2025 at 8:46 PM
do you ever think about how our taxes pay for a team of people to keep the president alive? he doesn't need the secret service, he needs his foot chewed off by a golf course alligator on live tv
my dude put on the movie fantastic planet while I was already baked outta my mind recently and lemme just say... what the fuck
December 19, 2025 at 7:06 PM
my dude put on the movie fantastic planet while I was already baked outta my mind recently and lemme just say... what the fuck
if you haven't told your friends you're proud of them lately, highly suggest that you do. I'd rather know my bestie is proud of me than my dad any day of the daggum WEEK.
December 19, 2025 at 1:24 PM
if you haven't told your friends you're proud of them lately, highly suggest that you do. I'd rather know my bestie is proud of me than my dad any day of the daggum WEEK.
I was a 15 year old Mormon and I hid this CD under my mattress for fear of the lord
December 19, 2025 at 12:34 AM
I was a 15 year old Mormon and I hid this CD under my mattress for fear of the lord
I think it's so funny when perfume companies try to sell you a smell via social media. Just saw one with a bunch of witchy shit and it was like ARE YOU A WITCH OF THE WOODS BC YOU CAN SMELL LIKE ONE IF YOU CHOOSE US!!! wtf does a witch of the woods smell like bc I'd guess bog
December 18, 2025 at 1:48 PM
I think it's so funny when perfume companies try to sell you a smell via social media. Just saw one with a bunch of witchy shit and it was like ARE YOU A WITCH OF THE WOODS BC YOU CAN SMELL LIKE ONE IF YOU CHOOSE US!!! wtf does a witch of the woods smell like bc I'd guess bog
ROYGBIV is like alphabetizing for colors
December 18, 2025 at 1:10 PM
ROYGBIV is like alphabetizing for colors
[watching tv]
me: honestly, what a dope way to go out someone should blow my head up when it's my time.
my dude: I'll do it
me: could you do it to both of us at the same time? like in the notebook?
me: honestly, what a dope way to go out someone should blow my head up when it's my time.
my dude: I'll do it
me: could you do it to both of us at the same time? like in the notebook?
December 18, 2025 at 1:03 AM
[watching tv]
me: honestly, what a dope way to go out someone should blow my head up when it's my time.
my dude: I'll do it
me: could you do it to both of us at the same time? like in the notebook?
me: honestly, what a dope way to go out someone should blow my head up when it's my time.
my dude: I'll do it
me: could you do it to both of us at the same time? like in the notebook?
[Instagram comments section]
random: actually, god is real because I lived 15 years without him and now my life is better with him in it
me: I felt the same way the first time I watched dragon ball z
random: actually, god is real because I lived 15 years without him and now my life is better with him in it
me: I felt the same way the first time I watched dragon ball z
December 17, 2025 at 5:53 PM
[Instagram comments section]
random: actually, god is real because I lived 15 years without him and now my life is better with him in it
me: I felt the same way the first time I watched dragon ball z
random: actually, god is real because I lived 15 years without him and now my life is better with him in it
me: I felt the same way the first time I watched dragon ball z
I just met a man in his 80s named Bryce. He might be the very first one.
December 17, 2025 at 5:31 PM
I just met a man in his 80s named Bryce. He might be the very first one.
the worst part about malls not really existing like they used to is that you just don't see people accidentally walking into a fountain anymore
December 17, 2025 at 1:55 AM
the worst part about malls not really existing like they used to is that you just don't see people accidentally walking into a fountain anymore
one of my favorite victories is when my work nemesis found out my fiancé was actually her teenage crush. I win!
December 16, 2025 at 8:23 PM
one of my favorite victories is when my work nemesis found out my fiancé was actually her teenage crush. I win!
if I buy one more journal, THAT will be the journal I finally use. look away from my unused journal stack!!!!
December 16, 2025 at 12:57 PM
if I buy one more journal, THAT will be the journal I finally use. look away from my unused journal stack!!!!
somebody just asked me why I brought cartman to work
December 15, 2025 at 8:26 PM
somebody just asked me why I brought cartman to work
we have a fat squirrel that lives in our backyard called gerald and my cats are gonna eat his face one day
December 14, 2025 at 4:37 PM
we have a fat squirrel that lives in our backyard called gerald and my cats are gonna eat his face one day
public service announcement for the straight men in the room: it's your responsibility to fill your lady's stocking. she doesn't need to be reminded to fill yours or the kids, so maybe make sure hers isn't empty. dummy.
December 14, 2025 at 2:34 PM
public service announcement for the straight men in the room: it's your responsibility to fill your lady's stocking. she doesn't need to be reminded to fill yours or the kids, so maybe make sure hers isn't empty. dummy.
the only good thing about having heater vents on the floor is standing over them in a dress in the winter
December 14, 2025 at 4:42 AM
the only good thing about having heater vents on the floor is standing over them in a dress in the winter
you ever been so stressed you need to take a bite out of a nerf ball
December 14, 2025 at 3:22 AM
you ever been so stressed you need to take a bite out of a nerf ball
tonight is my work christmas party and I'm recycling one of these dresses. WHAT SAY YE? red or green?
December 13, 2025 at 2:59 PM
tonight is my work christmas party and I'm recycling one of these dresses. WHAT SAY YE? red or green?
donating plasma to survive the capitalist hellscape that is the holiday season. nothing weirder than watching all that funky juice accumulate next to your head, but then I get $70 so it's worth it.
December 13, 2025 at 3:28 AM
donating plasma to survive the capitalist hellscape that is the holiday season. nothing weirder than watching all that funky juice accumulate next to your head, but then I get $70 so it's worth it.
I made a cool new lady friend at my fiance's work Christmas party over the subject of death. She asked me for my number quicker than any man has and I appreciate that about her.
December 12, 2025 at 3:13 AM
I made a cool new lady friend at my fiance's work Christmas party over the subject of death. She asked me for my number quicker than any man has and I appreciate that about her.
you ever high enough that a receipt blowing down the sidewalk looks like one of cinderella's mice scurrying to save the day or nah
December 12, 2025 at 12:50 AM
you ever high enough that a receipt blowing down the sidewalk looks like one of cinderella's mice scurrying to save the day or nah
Reposted by ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
doctors in the 1800s after making a victorian lady cum: ma'am, you have hysteria lmao
June 21, 2025 at 11:08 AM
doctors in the 1800s after making a victorian lady cum: ma'am, you have hysteria lmao
blowing these at my enemies so I can watch them bite at the air
December 11, 2025 at 8:55 PM
blowing these at my enemies so I can watch them bite at the air