Guesstimated Prophet
@54donwood.bsky.social
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
Did he call me "unserious"?
Hold my beer hat
Hold my beer hat
December 29, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Did he call me "unserious"?
Hold my beer hat
Hold my beer hat
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
December 30, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
fucked up to think about but there was two grinches on noah's ark
November 30, 2024 at 5:44 AM
fucked up to think about but there was two grinches on noah's ark
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
I don't think my neighbors understand they're living next to a cool guy
December 23, 2025 at 1:42 PM
I don't think my neighbors understand they're living next to a cool guy
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
I love reading. in fact I love reading so much, that I will re-read the same paragraph 10 times over, in an attempt to pay enough attention to register it properly
December 23, 2025 at 4:07 AM
I love reading. in fact I love reading so much, that I will re-read the same paragraph 10 times over, in an attempt to pay enough attention to register it properly
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
December 18, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
Asked my therapist if I could read his notes from our last session and it was just a drawing of him pushing me off a cliff and laughing
December 19, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Asked my therapist if I could read his notes from our last session and it was just a drawing of him pushing me off a cliff and laughing
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
How the Grinch Stole My Catalytic Converter
December 19, 2025 at 3:45 PM
How the Grinch Stole My Catalytic Converter
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
Honestly I could win the Gold, Silver and Bronze at the World Sighing Championships today and there is still 90 minutes left at work before the headache of busses to deal with.
December 19, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Honestly I could win the Gold, Silver and Bronze at the World Sighing Championships today and there is still 90 minutes left at work before the headache of busses to deal with.
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Year
theonion.com/cia-realizes...
theonion.com/cia-realizes...
December 19, 2025 at 9:27 PM
CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Year
theonion.com/cia-realizes...
theonion.com/cia-realizes...
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
God is the original Job creator. One for the Bible fans.
December 18, 2025 at 3:52 PM
God is the original Job creator. One for the Bible fans.
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a duck that does crimes
December 18, 2025 at 7:49 AM
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a duck that does crimes
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
Sending a carefully written email and then immediately going to the Sent folder to read it "from their perspective"
December 18, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Sending a carefully written email and then immediately going to the Sent folder to read it "from their perspective"
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
wife packed soup again for lunch at my sitting on a steel beam above New York job. spilled everywhere
January 22, 2024 at 3:26 AM
wife packed soup again for lunch at my sitting on a steel beam above New York job. spilled everywhere
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
in france they just call them le murders
December 6, 2025 at 3:36 AM
in france they just call them le murders
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
I'm persona non grata at CNN, a place that used to have me as a commentator, but Katie Miller, the fragile, racist wife of the fragile, racist Stephen Miller, has an open invitation.
I wonder why. Hmmm.
Guesses?
I wonder why. Hmmm.
Guesses?
November 29, 2025 at 6:34 AM
I'm persona non grata at CNN, a place that used to have me as a commentator, but Katie Miller, the fragile, racist wife of the fragile, racist Stephen Miller, has an open invitation.
I wonder why. Hmmm.
Guesses?
I wonder why. Hmmm.
Guesses?
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
MOM: *pulls first rodeo out of my backpack* what the hell is this
ME: it-it's not mine i swear
ME: it-it's not mine i swear
December 13, 2024 at 11:31 PM
MOM: *pulls first rodeo out of my backpack* what the hell is this
ME: it-it's not mine i swear
ME: it-it's not mine i swear
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
I have no posts but I must post
November 29, 2025 at 5:54 AM
I have no posts but I must post
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
[naked and afraid, day 2]
son of a cuss, my gameboy died
son of a cuss, my gameboy died
November 29, 2025 at 1:17 AM
[naked and afraid, day 2]
son of a cuss, my gameboy died
son of a cuss, my gameboy died
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
saw a guy on the corner today with a sign that said “will fight your mother in law for a dollar” and my wife gave him her entire paycheck
November 29, 2025 at 4:41 AM
saw a guy on the corner today with a sign that said “will fight your mother in law for a dollar” and my wife gave him her entire paycheck
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
Welcome to the abyss! Enjoy the abyss! Spend as much time as you'd like in the abyss! Surrender yourself to the abyss! Nothing is better than the abyss!*
*If you are not capable of handling yourself in the abyss, call 1-800-NO-ABYSS for help avoiding the abyss.
*If you are not capable of handling yourself in the abyss, call 1-800-NO-ABYSS for help avoiding the abyss.
November 29, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Welcome to the abyss! Enjoy the abyss! Spend as much time as you'd like in the abyss! Surrender yourself to the abyss! Nothing is better than the abyss!*
*If you are not capable of handling yourself in the abyss, call 1-800-NO-ABYSS for help avoiding the abyss.
*If you are not capable of handling yourself in the abyss, call 1-800-NO-ABYSS for help avoiding the abyss.
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
*gets last year’s discounted sale items out of the attic*
November 28, 2025 at 4:21 PM
*gets last year’s discounted sale items out of the attic*
Reposted by Guesstimated Prophet
[shaking Magic 8 Ball] Should we pull the plug on Grandma
November 29, 2025 at 1:02 AM
[shaking Magic 8 Ball] Should we pull the plug on Grandma