Suds
@suds1.bsky.social
Pinned
Suds
@suds1.bsky.social
· Oct 19
But if I let a man sleep next to me, where will I put my book?
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no i don’t want to “hang out” i only want to be perceived two sentences at a time by strangers on the internet
June 12, 2025 at 12:35 AM
no i don’t want to “hang out” i only want to be perceived two sentences at a time by strangers on the internet
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toilet is french for “little toil”
October 17, 2025 at 6:47 PM
toilet is french for “little toil”
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“Keep pouring, Ann. You’re not gonna BELIEVE what your dog did today.”
September 7, 2025 at 12:51 AM
“Keep pouring, Ann. You’re not gonna BELIEVE what your dog did today.”
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I have a fool-proof method to fall asleep. Sorry, make that an 80-proof method.
July 13, 2024 at 3:10 PM
I have a fool-proof method to fall asleep. Sorry, make that an 80-proof method.
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Foolproof?!! Stand aside
June 16, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Foolproof?!! Stand aside
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i once again am suffering the consequences of making my comfort foods too comforting
July 24, 2025 at 3:02 AM
i once again am suffering the consequences of making my comfort foods too comforting
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‘Don’t encourage him.’
-my mom, about me
-my mom, about me
July 23, 2025 at 8:50 PM
‘Don’t encourage him.’
-my mom, about me
-my mom, about me
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Almost time for the Autumn Ear-hair Harvest festival.
July 23, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Almost time for the Autumn Ear-hair Harvest festival.
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More like hollowed be thy name.
July 24, 2025 at 1:18 AM
More like hollowed be thy name.
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Can’t. Doing reverse cowgirl with your mom, while eating a *checks latest update*
corndog.
corndog.
July 23, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Can’t. Doing reverse cowgirl with your mom, while eating a *checks latest update*
corndog.
corndog.
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Hell yes I'm recycling all my tweets on Bluesky. Why should I come up with new garbage when I already have this garbage?
November 15, 2024 at 6:22 PM
Hell yes I'm recycling all my tweets on Bluesky. Why should I come up with new garbage when I already have this garbage?
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corn dogs are just meat twinkies
July 23, 2025 at 5:10 PM
corn dogs are just meat twinkies
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not me just now realizing "ghosting" has nothing to do with ignoring her to play call of duty
January 3, 2025 at 6:11 AM
not me just now realizing "ghosting" has nothing to do with ignoring her to play call of duty
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It only took me 37 tries to get my messy bun looking effortless.
March 14, 2025 at 8:12 PM
It only took me 37 tries to get my messy bun looking effortless.
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I still can't fucking believe it's not butter.
February 18, 2025 at 10:24 PM
I still can't fucking believe it's not butter.
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All the people not following me are missing out on some superbly mediocre shit.
December 11, 2024 at 11:27 PM
All the people not following me are missing out on some superbly mediocre shit.
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When you hear strange noises in your home at night, just make some more strange noises to establish dominance.
February 20, 2025 at 7:47 PM
When you hear strange noises in your home at night, just make some more strange noises to establish dominance.
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Sorry I said, "Here comes the airplane," during fellatio.
February 22, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Sorry I said, "Here comes the airplane," during fellatio.
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Your soulmate is out there somewhere making exaggerated sex noises while eating
January 6, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Your soulmate is out there somewhere making exaggerated sex noises while eating
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*sext
Her: I wanna make you feel good.
Me: Lady, I haven’t felt good since 1985.
Her: I wanna make you feel good.
Me: Lady, I haven’t felt good since 1985.
January 24, 2025 at 3:10 PM
*sext
Her: I wanna make you feel good.
Me: Lady, I haven’t felt good since 1985.
Her: I wanna make you feel good.
Me: Lady, I haven’t felt good since 1985.
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Spicing things up in the bedroom with a few stalks of celery.
January 24, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Spicing things up in the bedroom with a few stalks of celery.
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Trojan guard: oh man I am “chomping at the bit” to get this thing inside haha
[the other guys inside the horse start shushing me and shaking their heads violently]
Me: THE WORD IS ‘CHAMPING’ YOU FUCKWIT
[the other guys inside the horse start shushing me and shaking their heads violently]
Me: THE WORD IS ‘CHAMPING’ YOU FUCKWIT
January 7, 2025 at 6:33 AM
Trojan guard: oh man I am “chomping at the bit” to get this thing inside haha
[the other guys inside the horse start shushing me and shaking their heads violently]
Me: THE WORD IS ‘CHAMPING’ YOU FUCKWIT
[the other guys inside the horse start shushing me and shaking their heads violently]
Me: THE WORD IS ‘CHAMPING’ YOU FUCKWIT
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Checking on my stocks*
*beef and chicken
*beef and chicken
December 10, 2024 at 1:27 PM
Checking on my stocks*
*beef and chicken
*beef and chicken
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if i had a nickel for every time i didn't listen to a word i said i'd have twelve hot dogs
December 7, 2024 at 8:42 PM
if i had a nickel for every time i didn't listen to a word i said i'd have twelve hot dogs