Starring Michelle 💚
@starringmichelle.bsky.social
Twitter is my origin story
The Canadians said I could be here
I wrote this: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:wy3bbnc7c5wifwln2ek3cfoy/feed/aaafryqv376ey
The Canadians said I could be here
I wrote this: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:wy3bbnc7c5wifwln2ek3cfoy/feed/aaafryqv376ey
Pinned
In a therapeutic amount, pretzels can provide world peace
- me as a politician
- me as a politician
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
The upside of ADHD is you really can unknow things.
September 13, 2025 at 9:57 PM
The upside of ADHD is you really can unknow things.
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
SEAL: But did you know that when it snows my eyes become large and the light that you shine can't be seen?
OPTOMETRIST: that’s not supposed to happen
OPTOMETRIST: that’s not supposed to happen
September 14, 2025 at 10:53 PM
SEAL: But did you know that when it snows my eyes become large and the light that you shine can't be seen?
OPTOMETRIST: that’s not supposed to happen
OPTOMETRIST: that’s not supposed to happen
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
this is it. this the year. the year i finally close all those browser tabs
July 29, 2025 at 11:29 PM
this is it. this the year. the year i finally close all those browser tabs
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
just betty white being a fashion icon: thread
July 26, 2025 at 8:18 PM
just betty white being a fashion icon: thread
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
i go outside and people have the audacity to also be there
July 17, 2025 at 6:46 PM
i go outside and people have the audacity to also be there
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
You wouldn’t poke a mon
June 23, 2025 at 4:28 PM
You wouldn’t poke a mon
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
i think this goose sweatshirt might fix me
June 21, 2025 at 6:19 PM
i think this goose sweatshirt might fix me
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
britney chande-spears: thread
June 22, 2025 at 11:25 AM
britney chande-spears: thread
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
A learning opportunity hate to see me comin
June 17, 2025 at 4:29 PM
A learning opportunity hate to see me comin
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
My talent is always arriving at cvs pharmacy during their weird communal lunch
June 18, 2025 at 5:21 PM
My talent is always arriving at cvs pharmacy during their weird communal lunch
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
“You look familiar.”
I don't even go outside so why are you lying..
I don't even go outside so why are you lying..
June 19, 2025 at 12:01 AM
“You look familiar.”
I don't even go outside so why are you lying..
I don't even go outside so why are you lying..
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
Go on and slow dance to Janis Joplin while making your dog scrambled eggs for breakfast. I bet you'll smile for a little longer today if you do
June 16, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Go on and slow dance to Janis Joplin while making your dog scrambled eggs for breakfast. I bet you'll smile for a little longer today if you do
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
Can't figure out why 'kick rocks' is supposed to be derogatory. You ever kicked a rock? It's fucking fantastic.
June 16, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Can't figure out why 'kick rocks' is supposed to be derogatory. You ever kicked a rock? It's fucking fantastic.
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
I think we should all just give up and go full feral.
June 8, 2025 at 4:44 PM
I think we should all just give up and go full feral.
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
i planted a quarter last summer
June 18, 2025 at 3:24 PM
i planted a quarter last summer
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
what a flimsy excuse for a reality
June 17, 2025 at 11:26 PM
what a flimsy excuse for a reality
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
Because the first people that tried saying "oneteen" and "twoteen"got punched in the face.
June 18, 2025 at 11:37 AM
Because the first people that tried saying "oneteen" and "twoteen"got punched in the face.
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
Removing my socks one toe at a time like a burlesque dancer
June 17, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Removing my socks one toe at a time like a burlesque dancer
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
You think insects measure things in horsefly power?
June 18, 2025 at 2:23 AM
You think insects measure things in horsefly power?
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
The daily contact lenses taste like 1/30 as good as the monthly ones
June 18, 2025 at 4:05 AM
The daily contact lenses taste like 1/30 as good as the monthly ones
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
there are two pop tarts in a pack so you can start and end the day with one
June 18, 2025 at 3:37 AM
there are two pop tarts in a pack so you can start and end the day with one
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
apparently the face your baby makes while pushing out a poop is hereditary
June 18, 2025 at 2:33 PM
apparently the face your baby makes while pushing out a poop is hereditary
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
L. Ron Hubbard is Old Mother Hubbard’s son
June 18, 2025 at 11:08 AM
L. Ron Hubbard is Old Mother Hubbard’s son
Reposted by Starring Michelle 💚
I love eavesdropping. Her ex is trying to steal her dog. His boss is having a blatant affair with his assistant. She hates her job because of her boss. He shat his pants but had a backup pair.
June 18, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I love eavesdropping. Her ex is trying to steal her dog. His boss is having a blatant affair with his assistant. She hates her job because of her boss. He shat his pants but had a backup pair.