Stabby Turtle
@stabbyturtle2.bsky.social
Ope just gonna skeet right past ya there
She/Her
Formerly @stabbyturtle_ on the bad place 🐢🔪
She/Her
Formerly @stabbyturtle_ on the bad place 🐢🔪
OPERATION BIGGER LONGER AND UNCUT
November 16, 2025 at 10:00 PM
OPERATION BIGGER LONGER AND UNCUT
🎶…two turtle doves, and a (checks notes) GOD DAMN HANDLE of Maaaaaaaalööööööörtttt *bar stool tips over loudly*
These are already 50ml bottles, this is nearly a handle of Malort
November 15, 2025 at 7:04 AM
🎶…two turtle doves, and a (checks notes) GOD DAMN HANDLE of Maaaaaaaalööööööörtttt *bar stool tips over loudly*
@suesswassersee.bsky.social when are we busting into one of these
"Malort advent calendar" is already such an unhinged concept but every little window just having Malort in it really pushes it over the edge into something transcendently funny
November 15, 2025 at 6:54 AM
@suesswassersee.bsky.social when are we busting into one of these
I’m too lazy to make the domino meme about it, but the person who is responsible for “fake news” and “alternative facts” now can’t prove to the public that he DIDN’T blow Bill Clinton or that his VP didn’t fuck a couch. And I think we deserve that as a little treat.
you: it probably is not actually true that donald trump blew bill clinton
me: it depends on what your definition of is is
me: it depends on what your definition of is is
November 15, 2025 at 5:47 AM
I’m too lazy to make the domino meme about it, but the person who is responsible for “fake news” and “alternative facts” now can’t prove to the public that he DIDN’T blow Bill Clinton or that his VP didn’t fuck a couch. And I think we deserve that as a little treat.
I wish I could send this to someone in 2011. Good News everyone, the world didn’t end (?) in 2012. However…
does this make trump or clinton the first disaster bisexual president?
November 15, 2025 at 2:19 AM
I wish I could send this to someone in 2011. Good News everyone, the world didn’t end (?) in 2012. However…
The White House blaring Phantom of the Opera while the president does bathroom decorating while these emails are released while (gestures at everything) is just…
Idk roll the credits, you know the ones…
Idk roll the credits, you know the ones…
a man in a suit and glasses is walking down a street .
Alt: Larry David making exasperated faces
media.tenor.com
November 15, 2025 at 2:17 AM
The White House blaring Phantom of the Opera while the president does bathroom decorating while these emails are released while (gestures at everything) is just…
Idk roll the credits, you know the ones…
Idk roll the credits, you know the ones…
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
It’s just nice to know I wasn’t the only one having a breakdown today
November 15, 2025 at 12:30 AM
It’s just nice to know I wasn’t the only one having a breakdown today
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
Taking Back November!!! 🍂🍁 Which actually isn’t a bad band name.
Whatever happened to November? I like November. It’s autumn, a beautiful month of orange and brown, of cool days and mists, not of jingle bells and Santas. Please, can we have November back? I don’t want 2 months of Christmas.
November 14, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Taking Back November!!! 🍂🍁 Which actually isn’t a bad band name.
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
Rough day to be any sort of survivor of sexual violence. Solidarity to all of you, please be kind to yourselves
November 13, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Rough day to be any sort of survivor of sexual violence. Solidarity to all of you, please be kind to yourselves
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
I would be utterly thrilled to rid the Democratic Party of everyone who was pals with Jeffrey fucking Epstein
why exactly would I want a child abuser to make government policy
why exactly would I want a child abuser to make government policy
"This could take down Democrats, too."
I know. And I frankly wouldn't give even an itty bitty damn if it implicated every Democratic man in Congress, every Democratic hopeful for 2028 and every Democrat who has even thought about running for office.
Down with the sex predators, wherever they are.
I know. And I frankly wouldn't give even an itty bitty damn if it implicated every Democratic man in Congress, every Democratic hopeful for 2028 and every Democrat who has even thought about running for office.
Down with the sex predators, wherever they are.
November 13, 2025 at 1:32 AM
I would be utterly thrilled to rid the Democratic Party of everyone who was pals with Jeffrey fucking Epstein
why exactly would I want a child abuser to make government policy
why exactly would I want a child abuser to make government policy
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
GET FUCKED KIM DAVIS
BREAKING: The Supreme Court rejects a call to overturn its decision legalizing same-sex marriage nationwide.
Supreme Court rejects call to overturn its decision legalizing same-sex marriage nationwide
The Supreme Court has rejected a call to overturn its landmark decision that legalized same-sex marriage nationwide.
bit.ly
November 10, 2025 at 3:48 PM
GET FUCKED KIM DAVIS
The ICE Gestapo are doing a photo op in front of the Chicago Bean today. I can’t believe a single one of them found it.
November 10, 2025 at 4:43 PM
The ICE Gestapo are doing a photo op in front of the Chicago Bean today. I can’t believe a single one of them found it.
I want to say it’s the millennial generation of numbers (being mocked and criticized by boomers and zoomers) but to be more accurate I might have to give this one to my Gen X buddies.
i wonder if the number 68 ever feels left out. living in the shadow of 69 must have been a lot already, and now to live in the shadow of 67 also? brutal
November 9, 2025 at 3:11 AM
I want to say it’s the millennial generation of numbers (being mocked and criticized by boomers and zoomers) but to be more accurate I might have to give this one to my Gen X buddies.
My neighbors! We will not stand for any of this.
Here at Northcenter Town Square where 100-200 community members including families and young children are rallying after a teacher was taken by federal law enforcement from a local daycare this morning.
November 6, 2025 at 7:58 AM
My neighbors! We will not stand for any of this.
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
The billionaires can buy the newspapers and buy social media and buy attack ads, but they can't buy their way out of how much we fucking hate all of them.
November 5, 2025 at 5:27 AM
The billionaires can buy the newspapers and buy social media and buy attack ads, but they can't buy their way out of how much we fucking hate all of them.
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
A pro-affordability, anti-Trump-corruption message unites the party. Every candidate can run on that, and every candidate can have their own take to fit that to their constituents. There's really no need to find fights to pick when the party agrees on more than it disagrees
Came here to say this, but Jamelle Bouie has this covered. 👇
When the Democratic tent includes candidates like Spanberger and Mamdani, there is no crisis, or fight, for the party. IT’S A COALITION, NOT A POINT ESTIMATE.
When the Democratic tent includes candidates like Spanberger and Mamdani, there is no crisis, or fight, for the party. IT’S A COALITION, NOT A POINT ESTIMATE.
i want to repeat this: mamdani and spanberger have run similar campaigns tailored to their respective electorates and it is maddening to watch political journalists attempt to create some broad contrast where none exist
November 5, 2025 at 2:15 AM
A pro-affordability, anti-Trump-corruption message unites the party. Every candidate can run on that, and every candidate can have their own take to fit that to their constituents. There's really no need to find fights to pick when the party agrees on more than it disagrees
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
I gotta give it up to the writers tho. If NYC elects a Muslim mayor on the day Dick Cheney died, that is one hell of a slow played story arc. Every time you want to fire 2025's writers room they give you a little narrative resolution as a treat.
November 4, 2025 at 5:15 PM
I gotta give it up to the writers tho. If NYC elects a Muslim mayor on the day Dick Cheney died, that is one hell of a slow played story arc. Every time you want to fire 2025's writers room they give you a little narrative resolution as a treat.
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
i guess we will never know if they were ICE or not
“Three men in black vests entered a NY restaurant claiming to be ICE agents. Inside, they tied a worker’s hands and pulled a garbage bag over the person’s head. Another, believing the burglars’ story, surrendered themselves, only to be kicked to the ground and tied up as the intruders robbed an ATM”
FBI Warns of Criminals Posing as ICE, Urges Agents to ID Themselves
In a bulletin to law enforcement agencies, the FBI said criminal impersonators are exploiting ICE’s image and urged nationwide coordination to distinguish real operations from fakes.
www.wired.com
November 5, 2025 at 2:01 AM
i guess we will never know if they were ICE or not
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
THE Stabby Turtle, my beloved
November 5, 2025 at 12:24 AM
THE Stabby Turtle, my beloved
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
Reposted by Stabby Turtle
