This has the exact same energy as Hegseth tweet about all the operation names, I know I’m right but it’s very early lol

What girls do? Flirt. Eat hot chip and lie. FLRT for girls.

nah

Awww my lil birb is Jeff (the accountant)

Big Badinky Bones shanked me in the leg at Panera Bread

I just imagine the cumulative effect of that much Malört would be something 😂

I never want to see it but I’m also surprised it hasn’t happened yet lol

Who’s pressing the bunker button?

With regard to the side piece, let me just say: BUBBA, YOUR GIRLFRIEND. WOOF.

So Trump actually hated Hillary in a messy bitch way before he hated her in a messy bitch political way and I simply I - 😂🙃

They took the disaster part WAY too literally

Oh no I didn’t even think about the subscription fees, and then what would happen if the company just folded and you lost “grandma” oh GOD I’m like actually very sad about this

We need a new internet way to express truly laughing out loud and to what degree because I can’t even find a gif that could convey the sound I just made

It’s just nice to know I wasn’t the only one having a breakdown today

As someone who lost one of the closest people to me not very long ago, I can tell you this would make the grief a lot worse. Actually, it is. The way I wish in my bones that I could talk to her. In a way it’s comforting to understand that I can’t. I don’t think I could handle having to re-learn that