wild tofurkey 🥃
@eeyikes.bsky.social
she/her • Georgia, US
Mouthy spinster. Cursed to regret everything I’ve ever posted, but tragically unable to shut up.
Mouthy spinster. Cursed to regret everything I’ve ever posted, but tragically unable to shut up.
Pinned
Sorry I’ve been busy detailing my many crimes in Gmail missives to my various shady co-conspirators. What have I missed?
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
Out: We need reformers
In: We need exorcists
In: We need exorcists
November 13, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Out: We need reformers
In: We need exorcists
In: We need exorcists
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
This email from Larry Summers’ wife—a Lit professor—to Epstein, in which she glowingly describes Nabokov’s Lolita as an enjoyable read “about a man whose whole life is stamped forever by his impression of a young girl.” Is everyone in power a pedo, wtaf is going on
November 13, 2025 at 7:24 PM
This email from Larry Summers’ wife—a Lit professor—to Epstein, in which she glowingly describes Nabokov’s Lolita as an enjoyable read “about a man whose whole life is stamped forever by his impression of a young girl.” Is everyone in power a pedo, wtaf is going on
Somebody get Megyn Kelly to take the dementia test she’s forgotten how to determine “greater than or less than 18”
November 13, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Somebody get Megyn Kelly to take the dementia test she’s forgotten how to determine “greater than or less than 18”
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
My fellow Americans I'm afraid we have an asshole epidemic in this country
November 13, 2025 at 7:11 PM
My fellow Americans I'm afraid we have an asshole epidemic in this country
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
Again, not to go on about ai but I have a few thoughts.
1. I've genuinely never seen an actual creative get excited about using it. Someone who has actually made something before. Its people from marketing and finance backgrounds getting excited about a false sensation of making something.
1. I've genuinely never seen an actual creative get excited about using it. Someone who has actually made something before. Its people from marketing and finance backgrounds getting excited about a false sensation of making something.
November 13, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Again, not to go on about ai but I have a few thoughts.
1. I've genuinely never seen an actual creative get excited about using it. Someone who has actually made something before. Its people from marketing and finance backgrounds getting excited about a false sensation of making something.
1. I've genuinely never seen an actual creative get excited about using it. Someone who has actually made something before. Its people from marketing and finance backgrounds getting excited about a false sensation of making something.
Reporting in from the local news FB comments: apparently Giuffre is the redacted victim and she already said Trump didn’t do anything so therefore all the emails are bullshit and if they aren’t it still isn’t bad for Trump bc Biden sniffed someone’s head one time so there.
November 13, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Reporting in from the local news FB comments: apparently Giuffre is the redacted victim and she already said Trump didn’t do anything so therefore all the emails are bullshit and if they aren’t it still isn’t bad for Trump bc Biden sniffed someone’s head one time so there.
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
"we can't apply the law to this guy. it will look politically motivated"
Meanwhile, Trump screaming into every microphone and camera he can find: "I'm going to throw every person who's ever looked at me wrong in prison. There aren't going to be elections anymore if I win."
Meanwhile, Trump screaming into every microphone and camera he can find: "I'm going to throw every person who's ever looked at me wrong in prison. There aren't going to be elections anymore if I win."
November 12, 2025 at 7:26 PM
"we can't apply the law to this guy. it will look politically motivated"
Meanwhile, Trump screaming into every microphone and camera he can find: "I'm going to throw every person who's ever looked at me wrong in prison. There aren't going to be elections anymore if I win."
Meanwhile, Trump screaming into every microphone and camera he can find: "I'm going to throw every person who's ever looked at me wrong in prison. There aren't going to be elections anymore if I win."
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
every few years it's revealed that the NYT was sitting on information about some horrific thing that public knowledge of would have changed the country's course and for some reason a ton of people still give them money. you can play those games on other sites
November 12, 2025 at 10:41 PM
every few years it's revealed that the NYT was sitting on information about some horrific thing that public knowledge of would have changed the country's course and for some reason a ton of people still give them money. you can play those games on other sites
I’m so jaded. It’s all obscene and repulsive and I still do not believe there will be consequences. I want there to be consequences (for EVERYONE in those reprehensible emails), but I don’t see it.
I’m somewhat buoyed by the scared shitless WH reaction tho.
I’m somewhat buoyed by the scared shitless WH reaction tho.
November 12, 2025 at 11:30 PM
I’m so jaded. It’s all obscene and repulsive and I still do not believe there will be consequences. I want there to be consequences (for EVERYONE in those reprehensible emails), but I don’t see it.
I’m somewhat buoyed by the scared shitless WH reaction tho.
I’m somewhat buoyed by the scared shitless WH reaction tho.
Sorry I’ve been busy detailing my many crimes in Gmail missives to my various shady co-conspirators. What have I missed?
November 12, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Sorry I’ve been busy detailing my many crimes in Gmail missives to my various shady co-conspirators. What have I missed?
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
emailing someone is not a definitive sign of affiliation. for instance, I hate everyone who has ever emailed me
November 12, 2025 at 9:15 PM
emailing someone is not a definitive sign of affiliation. for instance, I hate everyone who has ever emailed me
V disruptive tummyache last night, and I just realized I’ve spent all day silently checking off everything between me and going back to bed.
One meeting down…
Two meetings down…
Project outreach done…
Just gotta get through my niece’s dance class and then I’m HOME FREE!
One meeting down…
Two meetings down…
Project outreach done…
Just gotta get through my niece’s dance class and then I’m HOME FREE!
November 12, 2025 at 10:00 PM
V disruptive tummyache last night, and I just realized I’ve spent all day silently checking off everything between me and going back to bed.
One meeting down…
Two meetings down…
Project outreach done…
Just gotta get through my niece’s dance class and then I’m HOME FREE!
One meeting down…
Two meetings down…
Project outreach done…
Just gotta get through my niece’s dance class and then I’m HOME FREE!
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
I think it's pretty pathetic when people use ChatGPT to write an email, because who can't write an email? But then I saw all these Epstein emails. These guys can't write emails.
November 12, 2025 at 9:38 PM
I think it's pretty pathetic when people use ChatGPT to write an email, because who can't write an email? But then I saw all these Epstein emails. These guys can't write emails.
“A Tree Grows in Lochlynn” is a podcast about a young CIA agent whose untimely death leads to the founding of a new planet and a sex scandal involving the late Betty White. Presented by the three most obnoxious, unfunny, nasal-voiced people you’ve ever encountered in your life.
November 11, 2025 at 7:13 PM
“A Tree Grows in Lochlynn” is a podcast about a young CIA agent whose untimely death leads to the founding of a new planet and a sex scandal involving the late Betty White. Presented by the three most obnoxious, unfunny, nasal-voiced people you’ve ever encountered in your life.
The absolute epidemic of podcasts that have *such* interesting, promising summaries, and then I can’t get halfway through the first episode because the presenters are UNBEARABLE.
November 11, 2025 at 7:08 PM
The absolute epidemic of podcasts that have *such* interesting, promising summaries, and then I can’t get halfway through the first episode because the presenters are UNBEARABLE.
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
Today’s Daily Cartoon, by Brendan Loper. #NewYorkerCartoons
Sign up for our humor newsletter to get the Daily Cartoon right in your inbox: https://newyorkermag.visitlink.me/Ear3xH
Sign up for our humor newsletter to get the Daily Cartoon right in your inbox: https://newyorkermag.visitlink.me/Ear3xH
November 11, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Today’s Daily Cartoon, by Brendan Loper. #NewYorkerCartoons
Sign up for our humor newsletter to get the Daily Cartoon right in your inbox: https://newyorkermag.visitlink.me/Ear3xH
Sign up for our humor newsletter to get the Daily Cartoon right in your inbox: https://newyorkermag.visitlink.me/Ear3xH
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
NYT opinion section defends enslaving AI should it become conscious.
Maybe one day we can talk about real problems too!!! 🤞🏻
Maybe one day we can talk about real problems too!!! 🤞🏻
November 10, 2025 at 10:32 PM
NYT opinion section defends enslaving AI should it become conscious.
Maybe one day we can talk about real problems too!!! 🤞🏻
Maybe one day we can talk about real problems too!!! 🤞🏻
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
Bluesky should have polls but you can set them up where all the people who choose one answer get blocked.
November 10, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Bluesky should have polls but you can set them up where all the people who choose one answer get blocked.
I’ve been a James Garfield enthusiast ever since I watched the “Murder of a President” episode of American Experience on PBS and I am EXTREMELY psyched to start #DeathByLightning this week.
November 10, 2025 at 9:14 PM
I’ve been a James Garfield enthusiast ever since I watched the “Murder of a President” episode of American Experience on PBS and I am EXTREMELY psyched to start #DeathByLightning this week.
Every day, baby! I will never log off!
Panic! At The Bluesky
November 10, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Every day, baby! I will never log off!
I believe in forgiveness and rehabilitation, but I’m also increasingly convinced that anyone who voted for Trump should lose their right to vote for as many cycles as they did it. Voted for him in 2016? You’re sitting out 2028. Voted for him all 3 times? Remember to vote…in 2040.
November 10, 2025 at 4:03 PM
I believe in forgiveness and rehabilitation, but I’m also increasingly convinced that anyone who voted for Trump should lose their right to vote for as many cycles as they did it. Voted for him in 2016? You’re sitting out 2028. Voted for him all 3 times? Remember to vote…in 2040.
HELL YES. Even if the overall result is bad, it’s nice not to feel abandoned by the people I voted for.
Ossoff is no
November 10, 2025 at 2:17 AM
HELL YES. Even if the overall result is bad, it’s nice not to feel abandoned by the people I voted for.
Cool cool cool we tormented people for 40 days for no reason AND now all the fellow-feeling from Tuesday is dead AND everyone is yelling at everyone else. Fuck this for a Sunday night imma peace out and bake some tofu.
November 10, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Cool cool cool we tormented people for 40 days for no reason AND now all the fellow-feeling from Tuesday is dead AND everyone is yelling at everyone else. Fuck this for a Sunday night imma peace out and bake some tofu.
The important thing is that they managed to render the whole shutdown utterly pointless 🫡
November 10, 2025 at 12:44 AM
The important thing is that they managed to render the whole shutdown utterly pointless 🫡