wild tofurkey 🥃
@eeyikes.bsky.social
she/her • Georgia, US
Mouthy spinster. Cursed to regret everything I’ve ever posted, but tragically unable to shut up.
Mouthy spinster. Cursed to regret everything I’ve ever posted, but tragically unable to shut up.
Pinned
Sorry I was away from my desk when you called. A ladybug fell in between my boobs while I was working, so I had to get up and contort myself to extract it, then escort it outside. It excreted its fear-scent all over me and now my tits reek of ladybug stink; what did you need?
I’m not paying $20 for someone to mail me cheese just to dip it in coffee, you sick son of a bitch!
November 25, 2025 at 1:08 AM
I’m not paying $20 for someone to mail me cheese just to dip it in coffee, you sick son of a bitch!
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
Ron Trosper is on the case and I’m gonna be juuuust fine.
Ron Trosper is on the case and I’m gonna be juuuust fine.
November 24, 2025 at 10:38 PM
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
Ron Trosper is on the case and I’m gonna be juuuust fine.
Ron Trosper is on the case and I’m gonna be juuuust fine.
Logging on after a relatively peaceful Thanksgiving Week Monday at work only to find bsky is doing one of its Exhausting Debate Days.
November 24, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Logging on after a relatively peaceful Thanksgiving Week Monday at work only to find bsky is doing one of its Exhausting Debate Days.
Me as every day gets shorter
a man wearing glasses and a striped shirt is laying down in a dark room and talking to someone .
Alt: Buster Bluth on night vision camera in the trunk of a car, saying “Oh man, it’s tired in here”
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Me as every day gets shorter
Nothing in my degree field paid shit. I temped until one of my assignments offered me a full-time job w/benefits. 13 yrs later I was sick of that place, so I found *another* FT job w/benefits.
Not really a “career path”. Just jobs + pursuing my passions in my free time. I think that’s ok too.
Not really a “career path”. Just jobs + pursuing my passions in my free time. I think that’s ok too.
November 23, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Nothing in my degree field paid shit. I temped until one of my assignments offered me a full-time job w/benefits. 13 yrs later I was sick of that place, so I found *another* FT job w/benefits.
Not really a “career path”. Just jobs + pursuing my passions in my free time. I think that’s ok too.
Not really a “career path”. Just jobs + pursuing my passions in my free time. I think that’s ok too.
Finally started season 3 of #BlueLights and there goes my relaxing Sunday afternoon
November 23, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Finally started season 3 of #BlueLights and there goes my relaxing Sunday afternoon
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
People who adore the LLM-machine, that by design has no concern for truth, must have no concern for truth
November 23, 2025 at 4:15 PM
People who adore the LLM-machine, that by design has no concern for truth, must have no concern for truth
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
you're not allowed to make vague two word sentences about something bad happening when trump is president. if it's about sports, put in a sports hashtag, or a ball emoji or something to indicate the bombs aren't dropping.
November 23, 2025 at 8:52 PM
you're not allowed to make vague two word sentences about something bad happening when trump is president. if it's about sports, put in a sports hashtag, or a ball emoji or something to indicate the bombs aren't dropping.
Please enjoy this picture of a well-to-do, photogenic family enjoying an afternoon picnic in what appears to be the Tuscan countryside with a menu consisting entirely of *squints* Monster Munch.
November 23, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Please enjoy this picture of a well-to-do, photogenic family enjoying an afternoon picnic in what appears to be the Tuscan countryside with a menu consisting entirely of *squints* Monster Munch.
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
Now, the last thing I want to do is say that the Republican Party has been the party of fascism since Nixon, by which I mean I intend to say it on my deathbed.
November 23, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Now, the last thing I want to do is say that the Republican Party has been the party of fascism since Nixon, by which I mean I intend to say it on my deathbed.
You know what else is gross? IDLING AT THE GROCERY STORE PICKUP WHEN IT’S A COOL 59° AND SUNNY. STOP BELCHING CO2, ASSHAT.
Me: It’s gross and sad how gambling has crept into every corner of our already sick society
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
November 23, 2025 at 2:16 PM
You know what else is gross? IDLING AT THE GROCERY STORE PICKUP WHEN IT’S A COOL 59° AND SUNNY. STOP BELCHING CO2, ASSHAT.
Me: It’s gross and sad how gambling has crept into every corner of our already sick society
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
November 23, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Me: It’s gross and sad how gambling has crept into every corner of our already sick society
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
Also me: throwing a bunch of “low stock” items into my grocery pickup order with no substitutions just to feel alive
Look at THESE turkeys! (complimentary)
November 22, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Look at THESE turkeys! (complimentary)
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
We gotta bring back shame in a big way
November 22, 2025 at 6:37 PM
We gotta bring back shame in a big way
As a Georgian and an Atlanta native: FUCK Buddy Carter for inviting the federal government to terrorize his own state.
He’s not my rep (mine is a *different^ piece of shit), but I hope his constituents give him an earful.
He’s not my rep (mine is a *different^ piece of shit), but I hope his constituents give him an earful.
Georgia congressman calls for more ICE officers in Atlanta
Rep. Buddy Carter is urging DHS to increase ICE presence in Atlanta amid immigration concerns.
www.cbsnews.com
November 22, 2025 at 1:03 PM
As a Georgian and an Atlanta native: FUCK Buddy Carter for inviting the federal government to terrorize his own state.
He’s not my rep (mine is a *different^ piece of shit), but I hope his constituents give him an earful.
He’s not my rep (mine is a *different^ piece of shit), but I hope his constituents give him an earful.
Pleased to report that the replies to the dick-sucking robot video are almost as good as the OP
November 21, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Pleased to report that the replies to the dick-sucking robot video are almost as good as the OP
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
The replies and quotes to this will unbleak your day, and are a good reminder of what the best of social media is, and should be.
Man, everything is so bleak, anyone got a fun fact or little bit of trivia they want to share
November 21, 2025 at 12:32 PM
The replies and quotes to this will unbleak your day, and are a good reminder of what the best of social media is, and should be.
I will never stop laughing at the dick-sucking wearable computer, which is potentially the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Some men will literally strap a bouncing koozie to their dick rather than cultivate human relationships.
November 21, 2025 at 6:49 PM
I will never stop laughing at the dick-sucking wearable computer, which is potentially the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Some men will literally strap a bouncing koozie to their dick rather than cultivate human relationships.
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
they finally made the wearable computer that also sucks your dick www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvCG...
November 21, 2025 at 6:05 PM
they finally made the wearable computer that also sucks your dick www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvCG...
Everybody knows the “Publish and be damned” quote from the Duke of Wellington, but he also said
“Hard pounding this, gentlemen; let’s see who will pound longest.”
And I’m surprised that one doesn’t get used more in 2025.
“Hard pounding this, gentlemen; let’s see who will pound longest.”
And I’m surprised that one doesn’t get used more in 2025.
November 21, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Everybody knows the “Publish and be damned” quote from the Duke of Wellington, but he also said
“Hard pounding this, gentlemen; let’s see who will pound longest.”
And I’m surprised that one doesn’t get used more in 2025.
“Hard pounding this, gentlemen; let’s see who will pound longest.”
And I’m surprised that one doesn’t get used more in 2025.
I love all the hilarious Elon-fluffing Grok responses we’re seeing. I love burning down the rainforest so we can read the computer’s stupid arguments. I’m glad dozens, if not hundreds, of people have been doing this for 3 days. I like it *more* than having potable water, actually.
November 21, 2025 at 3:22 PM
I love all the hilarious Elon-fluffing Grok responses we’re seeing. I love burning down the rainforest so we can read the computer’s stupid arguments. I’m glad dozens, if not hundreds, of people have been doing this for 3 days. I like it *more* than having potable water, actually.
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
Learning the violin by pushing your face into a shallow ditch full of pig excrement “less effective” than violin lessons shock.
Relying on ChatGPT to teach you about a topic leaves you with shallower knowledge than Googling and reading about it, according to new research that compared what more than 10,000 people knew after using one method or the other.
Shared by @gizmodo.com: buff.ly/yAAHtHq
Shared by @gizmodo.com: buff.ly/yAAHtHq
November 21, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Learning the violin by pushing your face into a shallow ditch full of pig excrement “less effective” than violin lessons shock.
Since the Coast Guard swastika/noose thing is still flying around like wildfire, here’s the (positive) update that isn’t getting much traction. Happy Friday. apnews.com/article/coas...
November 21, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Since the Coast Guard swastika/noose thing is still flying around like wildfire, here’s the (positive) update that isn’t getting much traction. Happy Friday. apnews.com/article/coas...
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
(loudly within earshot of the universe) yeah they’re saying probably nothing crazy will happen today and everything will be incredibly normal
November 21, 2025 at 12:21 PM
(loudly within earshot of the universe) yeah they’re saying probably nothing crazy will happen today and everything will be incredibly normal
Reposted by wild tofurkey 🥃
America 2025. Please Don’t Offend The White Supremacists
September 24, 2025 at 12:27 PM
America 2025. Please Don’t Offend The White Supremacists