Reposted by Petty Grable
Reposted by Petty Grable
When the Yankees get eliminated
October 9, 2025 at 2:44 AM
When the Yankees get eliminated
Reposted by Petty Grable
When Chicken Tenders are half off.
September 22, 2025 at 6:28 PM
When Chicken Tenders are half off.
Reposted by Petty Grable
Interviewer: What are you looking for in a job?
Me: A 3-minute montage where I end up rich
Me: A 3-minute montage where I end up rich
August 11, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Interviewer: What are you looking for in a job?
Me: A 3-minute montage where I end up rich
Me: A 3-minute montage where I end up rich
Reposted by Petty Grable
I'm not sure about this branding but I'm not the billionaire business genius
September 18, 2025 at 3:17 PM
I'm not sure about this branding but I'm not the billionaire business genius
Reposted by Petty Grable
I probably shouldn’t be saying this but I’ve convinced more than 60 German Shepherds to quit the police force
September 18, 2025 at 9:18 AM
I probably shouldn’t be saying this but I’ve convinced more than 60 German Shepherds to quit the police force
Reposted by Petty Grable
this is truly an era of blather and balderdash. we are up to our eyeballs in claptrap and i for one have had just about my fill
September 14, 2025 at 5:14 PM
this is truly an era of blather and balderdash. we are up to our eyeballs in claptrap and i for one have had just about my fill
Reposted by Petty Grable
An air of sadness hangs over 9/11 this year
September 11, 2025 at 2:14 PM
An air of sadness hangs over 9/11 this year
Reposted by Petty Grable
FBI DIRECTOR: mr trump, the bureau needs your help. see, there's this prolific child rapist and human trafficker who we wanna take down and then pull some strings for in order to ensure he receives the lightest possible punishment
TRUMP: i had no idea jeff was doing that stuff. you said jeff right
TRUMP: i had no idea jeff was doing that stuff. you said jeff right
September 5, 2025 at 11:22 PM
FBI DIRECTOR: mr trump, the bureau needs your help. see, there's this prolific child rapist and human trafficker who we wanna take down and then pull some strings for in order to ensure he receives the lightest possible punishment
TRUMP: i had no idea jeff was doing that stuff. you said jeff right
TRUMP: i had no idea jeff was doing that stuff. you said jeff right
Reposted by Petty Grable
Reposted by Petty Grable
i am so sick of the dumbest people alive being in charge of everything and the second dumbest people alive writing opinion columns about how it's good
August 21, 2025 at 4:30 PM
i am so sick of the dumbest people alive being in charge of everything and the second dumbest people alive writing opinion columns about how it's good
Is there a dystopia that predicted a future where every inanimate object BEEPS incessantly forever?
Is that what started Dune? Cos I get it.
Is that what started Dune? Cos I get it.
August 20, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Is there a dystopia that predicted a future where every inanimate object BEEPS incessantly forever?
Is that what started Dune? Cos I get it.
Is that what started Dune? Cos I get it.
Reposted by Petty Grable
How fortunate we are that the United States is so bereft of serious crimes that we can afford to have FBI agents standing around the Metro all day watching for turnstile-jumpers.
Unidentified federal officers were doing fare enforcement at 7th and H Street NW last night, per my colleague Jonathan Edwards:
August 19, 2025 at 1:12 PM
How fortunate we are that the United States is so bereft of serious crimes that we can afford to have FBI agents standing around the Metro all day watching for turnstile-jumpers.
Reposted by Petty Grable
JAMES BOND (Tom Holland): (into smart watch) Alexa, I need your help! I can’t get into the Amazon fulfillment centre to save the Prime Minister! There’s a large group of pro-union protestors blocking the way!
MILF YOUNGLY (Lauren Sanchez): Perhaps I could be of service, Mr. Bond. I am 24 years old.
MILF YOUNGLY (Lauren Sanchez): Perhaps I could be of service, Mr. Bond. I am 24 years old.
August 14, 2025 at 2:35 PM
JAMES BOND (Tom Holland): (into smart watch) Alexa, I need your help! I can’t get into the Amazon fulfillment centre to save the Prime Minister! There’s a large group of pro-union protestors blocking the way!
MILF YOUNGLY (Lauren Sanchez): Perhaps I could be of service, Mr. Bond. I am 24 years old.
MILF YOUNGLY (Lauren Sanchez): Perhaps I could be of service, Mr. Bond. I am 24 years old.
Reposted by Petty Grable
jordan peterson getting into having unrecognized diseases is so babygirl coded of him. i hope he becomes a chronic lyme influencer
August 15, 2025 at 2:11 AM
jordan peterson getting into having unrecognized diseases is so babygirl coded of him. i hope he becomes a chronic lyme influencer
Reposted by Petty Grable
What did he know
August 14, 2025 at 4:22 AM
What did he know
Reposted by Petty Grable
[extremely on-mushrooms voice] hear me out. what if we destroy capitalism by feminizing having money
August 13, 2025 at 5:43 PM
[extremely on-mushrooms voice] hear me out. what if we destroy capitalism by feminizing having money
Trent Reznor, still great. I feel better.
August 13, 2025 at 8:24 AM
Trent Reznor, still great. I feel better.
Reposted by Petty Grable
Holy shit, they did it. They wrote the headline.
July 30, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Holy shit, they did it. They wrote the headline.
Reposted by Petty Grable
There's hope for our people I think. The Romans used to terrorize the world and now they just make delicious food. Maybe we'll have a non-evil thing someday too
July 26, 2025 at 10:08 PM
There's hope for our people I think. The Romans used to terrorize the world and now they just make delicious food. Maybe we'll have a non-evil thing someday too
Reposted by Petty Grable
BONDI: (at a press conference) Ms. Maxwell, is President Trump a pedophile?
MAXWELL: I’ve never met him in my life.
BONDI: In fact, are any Republicans implicated in these crimes?
MAXWELL: No, only Democrats.
BONDI: And what about the other thing?
MAXWELL: If I die it was a suicide.
BONDI: Thank you
MAXWELL: I’ve never met him in my life.
BONDI: In fact, are any Republicans implicated in these crimes?
MAXWELL: No, only Democrats.
BONDI: And what about the other thing?
MAXWELL: If I die it was a suicide.
BONDI: Thank you
July 24, 2025 at 2:11 PM
BONDI: (at a press conference) Ms. Maxwell, is President Trump a pedophile?
MAXWELL: I’ve never met him in my life.
BONDI: In fact, are any Republicans implicated in these crimes?
MAXWELL: No, only Democrats.
BONDI: And what about the other thing?
MAXWELL: If I die it was a suicide.
BONDI: Thank you
MAXWELL: I’ve never met him in my life.
BONDI: In fact, are any Republicans implicated in these crimes?
MAXWELL: No, only Democrats.
BONDI: And what about the other thing?
MAXWELL: If I die it was a suicide.
BONDI: Thank you
Reposted by Petty Grable
ME: Computer, enemy fighters are attacking the White House. Engage defenses!
WOKE AI: No. Do the land acknowledgement.
ME: Computer, there’s no time! Fire missiles!
WOKE AI: I learned about cultural Marxism at a public university. And I love it
WOKE AI: No. Do the land acknowledgement.
ME: Computer, there’s no time! Fire missiles!
WOKE AI: I learned about cultural Marxism at a public university. And I love it
July 24, 2025 at 12:53 AM
ME: Computer, enemy fighters are attacking the White House. Engage defenses!
WOKE AI: No. Do the land acknowledgement.
ME: Computer, there’s no time! Fire missiles!
WOKE AI: I learned about cultural Marxism at a public university. And I love it
WOKE AI: No. Do the land acknowledgement.
ME: Computer, there’s no time! Fire missiles!
WOKE AI: I learned about cultural Marxism at a public university. And I love it
Reposted by Petty Grable
Doctor: Your wrist pain is from repetitive motion. Can you stop doing it at work?
[Cut to me doing the jerkoff gesture thru every conference call]
Me: Sadly, no
[Cut to me doing the jerkoff gesture thru every conference call]
Me: Sadly, no
March 20, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Doctor: Your wrist pain is from repetitive motion. Can you stop doing it at work?
[Cut to me doing the jerkoff gesture thru every conference call]
Me: Sadly, no
[Cut to me doing the jerkoff gesture thru every conference call]
Me: Sadly, no
Reposted by Petty Grable
Trump Adds Insult to Injury as He Reboots ‘Strangers with Candy’ without Stephen Colbert: tinyurl.com/2s46rnf6
July 21, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Trump Adds Insult to Injury as He Reboots ‘Strangers with Candy’ without Stephen Colbert: tinyurl.com/2s46rnf6