The Needling
@theneedling.com
Seattle's Only Real Fake News
(Satire/Parody)
Have a hot headline tip? Send it to Submit@TheNeedling.com
TheNeedling.com
(Satire/Parody)
Have a hot headline tip? Send it to Submit@TheNeedling.com
TheNeedling.com
Reposted by The Needling
Love this for Marshawn and Seattle.
Skittle Rainbow Stretches Over Seattle as Curse Finally Broken, Beast Mode Avenged: tinyurl.com/yc5atmkm
February 9, 2026 at 8:04 PM
Love this for Marshawn and Seattle.
Reposted by The Needling
Skittle Rainbow Stretches Over Seattle as Curse Finally Broken, Beast Mode Avenged: tinyurl.com/yc5atmkm
February 9, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Skittle Rainbow Stretches Over Seattle as Curse Finally Broken, Beast Mode Avenged: tinyurl.com/yc5atmkm
Reposted by The Needling
Overgrown thorned blackberry bushes magically receded as a Skittle rainbow stretched over the city of Seattle today, confirming the Seahawks Super Bowl curse was broken overnight and Beast Mode had finally been avenged.
Skittle Rainbow Stretches Over Seattle as Curse Finally Broken, Beast Mode Avenged: tinyurl.com/yc5atmkm
February 9, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Overgrown thorned blackberry bushes magically receded as a Skittle rainbow stretched over the city of Seattle today, confirming the Seahawks Super Bowl curse was broken overnight and Beast Mode had finally been avenged.
Reposted by The Needling
As the great shadow parted and the evil of the Patriots faded—Seattleites knew a glorious new day had arrived and such positivity would be joyfully spread for “at least a few hours assuming I get my morning coffee.”
Skittle Rainbow Stretches Over Seattle as Curse Finally Broken, Beast Mode Avenged: tinyurl.com/yc5atmkm
February 9, 2026 at 11:18 PM
As the great shadow parted and the evil of the Patriots faded—Seattleites knew a glorious new day had arrived and such positivity would be joyfully spread for “at least a few hours assuming I get my morning coffee.”
Reposted by The Needling
pictured: you
Skittle Rainbow Stretches Over Seattle as Curse Finally Broken, Beast Mode Avenged: tinyurl.com/yc5atmkm
February 9, 2026 at 10:25 PM
pictured: you
Overgrown thorned blackberry bushes magically receded as a Skittle rainbow stretched over the city of Seattle today, confirming the Seahawks Super Bowl curse was broken overnight and Beast Mode had finally been avenged.
Skittle Rainbow Stretches Over Seattle as Curse Finally Broken, Beast Mode Avenged: tinyurl.com/yc5atmkm
February 9, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Overgrown thorned blackberry bushes magically receded as a Skittle rainbow stretched over the city of Seattle today, confirming the Seahawks Super Bowl curse was broken overnight and Beast Mode had finally been avenged.
Reposted by The Needling
Nothing tastes as good as gettin your lick back
Skittle Rainbow Stretches Over Seattle as Curse Finally Broken, Beast Mode Avenged: tinyurl.com/yc5atmkm
February 9, 2026 at 8:13 PM
Nothing tastes as good as gettin your lick back
Skittle Rainbow Stretches Over Seattle as Curse Finally Broken, Beast Mode Avenged: tinyurl.com/yc5atmkm
February 9, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Skittle Rainbow Stretches Over Seattle as Curse Finally Broken, Beast Mode Avenged: tinyurl.com/yc5atmkm
Reposted by The Needling
“apparently Seattle also had mayoral election going on too that I barely weighed in on at the last minute as well,” @jayapal.house.gov said. “Oh, look at that @mlklabor.bsky.social and @cmtmosqueda.bsky.social just dual endorsed both teams too. See! We listen to our constituents and no one else.”
Rep. Pramila Jayapal Endorses both Seahawks and Patriots: tinyurl.com/9v59hufa
February 9, 2026 at 6:22 AM
“apparently Seattle also had mayoral election going on too that I barely weighed in on at the last minute as well,” @jayapal.house.gov said. “Oh, look at that @mlklabor.bsky.social and @cmtmosqueda.bsky.social just dual endorsed both teams too. See! We listen to our constituents and no one else.”
Reposted by The Needling
Goddamn the Needling won't quit
“I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to throw any of my support behind the Seahawks even after they crushed the 49ers in the NFC Championship. But now that the Seahawks are beating the Patriots by 12 points, I’m ready to boldly hedge my bets and support both teams.”
Rep. Pramila Jayapal Endorses both Seahawks and Patriots: tinyurl.com/9v59hufa
February 9, 2026 at 5:19 AM
Goddamn the Needling won't quit
Reposted by The Needling
“I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to throw any of my support behind the Seahawks even after they crushed the 49ers in the NFC Championship. But now that the Seahawks are beating the Patriots by 12 points, I’m ready to boldly hedge my bets and support both teams.”
Rep. Pramila Jayapal Endorses both Seahawks and Patriots: tinyurl.com/9v59hufa
February 9, 2026 at 2:47 AM
“I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to throw any of my support behind the Seahawks even after they crushed the 49ers in the NFC Championship. But now that the Seahawks are beating the Patriots by 12 points, I’m ready to boldly hedge my bets and support both teams.”
Reposted by The Needling
Rep. Pramila Jayapal Endorses both Seahawks and Patriots: tinyurl.com/9v59hufa
February 9, 2026 at 2:08 AM
Rep. Pramila Jayapal Endorses both Seahawks and Patriots: tinyurl.com/9v59hufa
“I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to throw any of my support behind the Seahawks even after they crushed the 49ers in the NFC Championship. But now that the Seahawks are beating the Patriots by 12 points, I’m ready to boldly hedge my bets and support both teams.”
Rep. Pramila Jayapal Endorses both Seahawks and Patriots: tinyurl.com/9v59hufa
February 9, 2026 at 2:47 AM
“I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to throw any of my support behind the Seahawks even after they crushed the 49ers in the NFC Championship. But now that the Seahawks are beating the Patriots by 12 points, I’m ready to boldly hedge my bets and support both teams.”
Reposted by The Needling
Chris Pratt is from WA. So is his ex-wife Anna Faris. Instead of Chris Pratt I would prefer to see Anna Faris, flipping off Chris Pratt at the Super Bowl
Seattleites Reiterate That Chris Pratt from Lake Stevens: tinyurl.com/bdhyu6b4
February 9, 2026 at 12:51 AM
Chris Pratt is from WA. So is his ex-wife Anna Faris. Instead of Chris Pratt I would prefer to see Anna Faris, flipping off Chris Pratt at the Super Bowl
Rep. Pramila Jayapal Endorses both Seahawks and Patriots: tinyurl.com/9v59hufa
February 9, 2026 at 2:08 AM
Rep. Pramila Jayapal Endorses both Seahawks and Patriots: tinyurl.com/9v59hufa
Reposted by The Needling
LIKE I WAS SAYING
Seattleites Reiterate That Chris Pratt from Lake Stevens: tinyurl.com/bdhyu6b4
February 8, 2026 at 11:25 PM
LIKE I WAS SAYING
Reposted by The Needling
Tapping the sign
Seattleites Reiterate That Chris Pratt from Lake Stevens: tinyurl.com/bdhyu6b4
February 8, 2026 at 11:19 PM
Tapping the sign
Reposted by The Needling
February 7, 2026 at 9:50 PM
Reposted by The Needling
Insha'allah he falls off an alp
JD Vance Busts Team USA’s Terrorist Plot to ‘Cut Up the ICE’: tinyurl.com/dth8ctvh
February 7, 2026 at 6:22 PM
Insha'allah he falls off an alp
Reposted by The Needling
QRPing this only because it's come to my attention that not all of y'all know what a geoduck is, or perhaps only just found out 😅
Six More Weeks of Wet Season Predicted as Geoduck Squirts All Over His Shadow: tinyurl.com/mu6br7ye
February 7, 2026 at 7:55 PM
QRPing this only because it's come to my attention that not all of y'all know what a geoduck is, or perhaps only just found out 😅
Reposted by The Needling
After cleverly stuffing himself in a hockey locker room locker before someone else did, today Vice President JD Vance reportedly busted Team USA’s terrorist plot to quote “cut up the ICE.”
JD Vance Busts Team USA’s Terrorist Plot to ‘Cut Up the ICE’: tinyurl.com/dth8ctvh
February 7, 2026 at 6:06 PM
After cleverly stuffing himself in a hockey locker room locker before someone else did, today Vice President JD Vance reportedly busted Team USA’s terrorist plot to quote “cut up the ICE.”
Reposted by The Needling
Me and the boys never miss White Party
Research Shows Yakima Actually Nothing Like Palm Springs: tinyurl.com/mrvvr9zt
February 7, 2026 at 6:39 AM
Me and the boys never miss White Party
After cleverly stuffing himself in a hockey locker room locker before someone else did, today Vice President JD Vance reportedly busted Team USA’s terrorist plot to quote “cut up the ICE.”
JD Vance Busts Team USA’s Terrorist Plot to ‘Cut Up the ICE’: tinyurl.com/dth8ctvh
February 7, 2026 at 6:06 PM
After cleverly stuffing himself in a hockey locker room locker before someone else did, today Vice President JD Vance reportedly busted Team USA’s terrorist plot to quote “cut up the ICE.”
Reposted by The Needling
JD Vance Busts Team USA’s Terrorist Plot to ‘Cut Up the ICE’: tinyurl.com/dth8ctvh
February 7, 2026 at 5:06 AM
JD Vance Busts Team USA’s Terrorist Plot to ‘Cut Up the ICE’: tinyurl.com/dth8ctvh
Reposted by The Needling
Puts Czechs On Watchlist
JD Vance Busts Team USA’s Terrorist Plot to ‘Cut Up the ICE’: tinyurl.com/dth8ctvh
February 7, 2026 at 5:11 AM
Puts Czechs On Watchlist