Omniscient Orb of Antlers
@omniscientorb.bsky.social
time is a level orb
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zpmpq3tifkzk7nqbgsmqvwj5/feed/aaafzcm4wp7oc
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zpmpq3tifkzk7nqbgsmqvwj5/feed/aaafzcm4wp7oc
Pinned
dermatologist grimly sipping coffee and thinking goddamnit more skin today
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
starting to think some of you may be losing your goddamned minds on the internet
March 23, 2025 at 12:56 AM
starting to think some of you may be losing your goddamned minds on the internet
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
A time machine but to stick that one little fucker right back into the ocean
March 23, 2025 at 4:19 AM
A time machine but to stick that one little fucker right back into the ocean
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
Them: Wow, you went to a really dark place there.
Me: Clearly not dark enough because you found me to tell me that.
Me: Clearly not dark enough because you found me to tell me that.
March 23, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Them: Wow, you went to a really dark place there.
Me: Clearly not dark enough because you found me to tell me that.
Me: Clearly not dark enough because you found me to tell me that.
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
A list of things we don't need in this dancery:
1. Hateration
2. Holleration
1. Hateration
2. Holleration
March 23, 2025 at 3:29 AM
A list of things we don't need in this dancery:
1. Hateration
2. Holleration
1. Hateration
2. Holleration
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
i do not care for basketball and all its squeaky shoes i think it should be played on a foamy surface and carrying the ball under shirts or shorts should be allowed heck give everyone a ball baby and the first team to quietly shush their crying balls wins and you lose if you decapitate the ball baby
March 23, 2025 at 3:23 AM
i do not care for basketball and all its squeaky shoes i think it should be played on a foamy surface and carrying the ball under shirts or shorts should be allowed heck give everyone a ball baby and the first team to quietly shush their crying balls wins and you lose if you decapitate the ball baby
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
Me: *bursts out of the bathroom holding a rhinoceros* I've got it! I think I finally solved the internet!
Rhino: You have an inherent misunderstanding of what the internet is. Now put me down.
Me: Not yet, I still haven't finished changing your diaper.
Rhino: You have an inherent misunderstanding of what the internet is. Now put me down.
Me: Not yet, I still haven't finished changing your diaper.
March 22, 2025 at 7:32 AM
Me: *bursts out of the bathroom holding a rhinoceros* I've got it! I think I finally solved the internet!
Rhino: You have an inherent misunderstanding of what the internet is. Now put me down.
Me: Not yet, I still haven't finished changing your diaper.
Rhino: You have an inherent misunderstanding of what the internet is. Now put me down.
Me: Not yet, I still haven't finished changing your diaper.
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
Just to prove a point to birds, I copulated mid flight in a twin engine Cessna.
March 22, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Just to prove a point to birds, I copulated mid flight in a twin engine Cessna.
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
A hardcore breakdown section that lasts for 25 minutes
March 22, 2025 at 10:00 PM
A hardcore breakdown section that lasts for 25 minutes
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
Somewhere beyond the fog,
there is a breeze,
that will push this gloom away,
and reveal the sun to me.
there is a breeze,
that will push this gloom away,
and reveal the sun to me.
March 22, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Somewhere beyond the fog,
there is a breeze,
that will push this gloom away,
and reveal the sun to me.
there is a breeze,
that will push this gloom away,
and reveal the sun to me.
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
If she orders her vibrators from
Temu, then she’ll definitely do that thing you like.
Temu, then she’ll definitely do that thing you like.
March 22, 2025 at 8:35 PM
If she orders her vibrators from
Temu, then she’ll definitely do that thing you like.
Temu, then she’ll definitely do that thing you like.
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
My favorite scar is from playing hopscotch on sharp boulders. Ppl ask how did that happen in hopscotch & that's when I know they're not gonna pop any cool wheelies
March 22, 2025 at 8:45 PM
My favorite scar is from playing hopscotch on sharp boulders. Ppl ask how did that happen in hopscotch & that's when I know they're not gonna pop any cool wheelies
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
Was trying to get a pic of a bluejay in the front yard apple tree, so it obliged by hopping over to the porch for a headshot. (Not his best side)
#bird
#bird
March 19, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Was trying to get a pic of a bluejay in the front yard apple tree, so it obliged by hopping over to the porch for a headshot. (Not his best side)
#bird
#bird
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
ME: So why do you run?
DATE: Endorphins
ME: That's a great cause. No child should be left alone.
HER: Check please!
DATE: Endorphins
ME: That's a great cause. No child should be left alone.
HER: Check please!
March 19, 2025 at 4:19 PM
ME: So why do you run?
DATE: Endorphins
ME: That's a great cause. No child should be left alone.
HER: Check please!
DATE: Endorphins
ME: That's a great cause. No child should be left alone.
HER: Check please!
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
Don’t bring your ass into my dojo unless you’re prepared for me to wipe it!!
March 21, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Don’t bring your ass into my dojo unless you’re prepared for me to wipe it!!
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
I wasn't born to sit at a desk and send emails, I was born to rob stagecoaches and rustle cattle
March 22, 2025 at 12:23 PM
I wasn't born to sit at a desk and send emails, I was born to rob stagecoaches and rustle cattle
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
(My cat wearing a green visor hunkering over old-timey adding machine):
I thought I told you to deduct the new litter box
I thought I told you to deduct the new litter box
March 22, 2025 at 4:56 PM
(My cat wearing a green visor hunkering over old-timey adding machine):
I thought I told you to deduct the new litter box
I thought I told you to deduct the new litter box
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
If you can’t handle me at my worst (crying in the fetal position), you don’t deserve me at my best (eating pizza in the fetal position).
March 22, 2025 at 1:10 PM
If you can’t handle me at my worst (crying in the fetal position), you don’t deserve me at my best (eating pizza in the fetal position).
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
Your mouth is making shapes and sounds are coming out of your body.
March 22, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Your mouth is making shapes and sounds are coming out of your body.
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
If you mix NyQuil and DayQuil it tastes like a Talking Heads song…
March 22, 2025 at 3:27 PM
If you mix NyQuil and DayQuil it tastes like a Talking Heads song…
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
Save time by filing everything under Miscellaneous.
March 22, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Save time by filing everything under Miscellaneous.
Reposted by Omniscient Orb of Antlers
Death is the ultimate freedom and freedom is the ultimate gift...uh, nvmnd found my lighter
March 20, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Death is the ultimate freedom and freedom is the ultimate gift...uh, nvmnd found my lighter