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maxhyde.bsky.social
DrunkAss
@maxhyde.bsky.social
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The fucking exceptional singularity that is you
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A sommelier for medical side effects.
December 27, 2025 at 7:36 PM
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smoking cigarettes is just lifting weights for your lungs
December 27, 2025 at 10:00 PM
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Trying to convince my toddler that life is easier when he poops in the potty while he looks me straight in the eye and shits his pants.
December 26, 2025 at 7:33 PM
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I’ve been so close to posting my tiddies all day. Don’t worry. I won’t. I will spare you.
December 26, 2025 at 11:25 PM
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If you are here looking for love, that’s called “groomscrolling”
December 27, 2025 at 5:59 PM
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One thing about me I don’t know how to tell who added me to a pack or who blocks me but I thank you for thinking of me
December 27, 2025 at 8:44 PM
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*standing over the sink eating lefse so I don't get a visit from 3 of my ancestors tonight
December 26, 2025 at 7:17 AM
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you post screenshots from X
I block you

we are not the same
December 26, 2025 at 2:30 PM
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you’re not gonna believe this, but…
December 26, 2025 at 2:42 PM
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this box says i shouldn’t, but i could totally operate some heavy machinery, right now. like totally fucking destroy it.
December 27, 2025 at 4:07 PM
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Woke up with a sore throat and a cough along with the kids. Send soup and snuggles please.
December 27, 2025 at 3:22 PM
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The only thing that’s great about growing old is that if you fall in the bushes on your walk, people will think you’re drunk.
December 26, 2025 at 10:03 PM
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omfg this is genius

Please let her win this
Woman sues IRS to have pets classified as dependents
Finnegan, an 8-year-old golden retriever, should qualify as a dependent, his attorney owner said.
www.usatoday.com
December 26, 2025 at 4:40 PM
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nobody likes a whiner

- me as a doctor
September 10, 2025 at 4:12 AM
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Gecko at McDonald’s crawl through:

I’ll have A Bug Mac, flies & a small snake.
October 6, 2025 at 11:33 PM
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Just closed out a meeting by reminding people that I am off on friday and if they need anything to "pretend that I am deceased"
December 23, 2025 at 5:19 PM
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fyi, best time to do crime is now since the next 5 days technically don't count
December 26, 2024 at 6:53 PM
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In the middle of Target with a NyQuil hangover and a hangover hangover with no idea why I'm here, just holding on to a Starbucks latte like it's the only thing between this realm and the next.

I think I came for bread.
December 26, 2025 at 5:27 PM
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New cryptid dropped. Let's be careful out there
December 26, 2025 at 5:27 PM
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Flashback post and yep, still our favorite.
December 26, 2025 at 5:25 PM
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Imagine sex with me…

How dare you,
We barely know each other!
December 26, 2025 at 3:15 PM
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🥱 this santa is exhausted
December 26, 2025 at 4:56 PM
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$32 for an eggs benny?
sold
December 26, 2025 at 5:00 PM
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oh you have a Nintendo switch? so does my 7 year old
December 26, 2025 at 5:27 PM
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Got blocked for this almost immediately and it made my boobs even better.
Having a great boob day.
December 26, 2025 at 4:44 PM