Matt 🇨🇦🍁
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jedistark.bsky.social
Matt 🇨🇦🍁
@jedistark.bsky.social
The world is chaos, be kind
Stand with 🇵🇸 , 🇺🇦 , 🇲🇽, 🏳️‍🌈, 🏳️‍⚧️ & NATO
lvl 54, cis male
Pluviophile
User # 502,024
My Skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:pzsxocxkxe7jaxcmmjgsppm3/feed/aaaeckv4i7r5i
Pinned
There’s no new normal. There’s nothing normal anymore. There’s regular, weird, freaky and wtf
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
Whoever stole my antidepressants,

I hope you're happy.
August 24, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
I showed my tweets to my mom. She scrolled through like 45 blowjob tweets and didn’t blink. Then she got to one about licking a guy’s butt and she said, “Did you have to make it nasty?”
February 8, 2026 at 1:57 PM
No new pictures, where are you mentally
February 6, 2026 at 3:35 AM
me as a Bluesky therapist
February 6, 2026 at 1:54 AM
Me: by emotionally stable, does being numb count?
Friends: No
Me: shit
February 3, 2026 at 8:50 PM
Men will read this and then say “Fine. I’ll shower.”
Maybe they should shower and get a personality that isn't just blaming women for their failings.
February 3, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
hello yes i would like a shitty person to experience a consequence?

idk man fucking any of them surprise me

yes i'll hold
January 31, 2026 at 5:42 PM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
Me to my friends: Shh, look over there. Don't make it obvious.
My friends:
December 24, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
January 25, 2026 at 3:49 PM
I have some good news. The Muppet Show is coming back.

Well, it’s good news to ME
January 25, 2026 at 2:14 AM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
Friend of mine who’s been doomsaying since 1998:
a woman holding a cup of coffee with the hashtag schitts creek
ALT: a woman holding a cup of coffee with the hashtag schitts creek
media.tenor.com
February 23, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
Her: Can I call you “Daddy”?
Me: Well, we ARE at Olive Garden
January 5, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
If you put mozzarella in the fondue you can turn your dinner party into a spiderweb of deliciousness
March 28, 2025 at 9:08 PM
It’s the unexpected joys you find when you live alone. Like never holding in your farts. Ever.

Pure. Joy.
January 21, 2026 at 4:04 AM
You know how some women get upset when you get them flowers because they think you did something wrong? My body is like that when I eat something healthy
January 21, 2026 at 3:23 AM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
(calling 911) so i already brushed my teeth but i want a little snack should i do it
January 20, 2026 at 3:51 AM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
When I say 'the house always wins', I'm not referring to gambling, I'm referring to my plans for the weekend.
January 19, 2026 at 10:55 PM
He has spoken
Hmmm. Much to ponder.
January 19, 2026 at 5:43 PM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
my dogs simply adore your posts but i’m afraid my cat finds them derivative
January 17, 2026 at 1:53 PM
“Bold strategy Cotton, let’s see if it works out for ‘em”
January 16, 2026 at 2:09 PM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
My very favorite artist is a guy called Rorschach; but he’s very niche— every single one of his paintings is a representation of my mom telling me I’ll never amount to anything.
January 15, 2026 at 12:51 PM
The world: Everything is burning down, people are rioting, democracies are crumbling, dictators are killing…

Meanwhile in Canada:
January 15, 2026 at 1:41 PM
So dark… are you sure you’re not DC?
January 14, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁
Therapist: is it the flying fairy kid again?

Captain Hook: he just pisses me off so bad
January 10, 2026 at 10:11 PM