Evan Washington
eewash.bsky.social
Evan Washington
@eewash.bsky.social
yields falsehood when preceded by his own quotation
Pinned
homie u are straight up courting death. ur ass is not defying the heavens
Reposted by Evan Washington
dress for the job you want meaning
"dress for the job you want" reddit
sad jester who's secretly wise outfit
Stitch Fix
jestercore inspo sad wise
Stitch Fix
February 11, 2026 at 9:09 AM
i always imagined the turtles eating sewer pie. like rancid olive and pineapple and pepper with an eau d'butt drizzle
Paramount is planning to open at least 3 ‘TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES’ themed pizzerias in the U.S.

(Source: www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/bus...)
February 11, 2026 at 1:35 AM
and he was soooo pathetic about it. double messaging "I miss you...so let's talk by phone tomorrow..." and "did you get the message"
February 10, 2026 at 9:56 PM
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sorry i missed the virtual meeting on discord, liz. i got hit with the id verification that happens when the app detects youre young
February 10, 2026 at 7:51 PM
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it is genuinely comical to me how much I fucking hate this boy wizard now
Hasbro and Warner Bros. Discovery have signed a multi-year deal starting in 2027 to produce Harry Potter film and television series dolls, role play, action figures, collectibles, interactive plush, board games, and more to be revealed later this year - bwnews.pr/45UKdKL
February 10, 2026 at 6:26 PM
nah it's more likely he would get a guy in a suit to be a fake xenomorph and accidentally entice a predator to come hunt his contestants
mr beast would secretly smuggle a xenomorph to earth
February 10, 2026 at 6:25 AM
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Sorry to be Radical Left but I don't think we should put people who haven't committed a crime, and aren't even accused of committing a crime, into any sort of "Detention"
February 10, 2026 at 6:04 AM
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Dear you, I’m am spaceship. Together we will $1,00,00,00,00. Remember to pack GoodFood for eat in Spacd
This is one of things. Bigtime.
February 10, 2026 at 2:00 AM
let the computer scan your face to see if you're allowed to listen to music with naughty words in it
February 9, 2026 at 8:43 PM
it's still crazy that kid rock's song about how being a pedophile is awesome is on the osmosis jones soundtrack
February 9, 2026 at 5:38 PM
among my best work tbh. it's too bad it's targeted exclusively at people like me
classical logic lowdiffs, she's had decades to build up her power to perfection. what's intuitionistic logic gonna do? he can't do p and heck probably can't can't do p either
February 9, 2026 at 3:14 AM
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Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night
February 9, 2026 at 12:38 AM
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February 9, 2026 at 2:34 AM
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“Mr. Beast Salesforce ad” - they’re calling it the least appealing phrase ever assembled in any language. They finally did it
February 9, 2026 at 2:32 AM
being a conservative chud must suck so much. you have to pretend to like kid rock and you have to wear republican clown girl makeup like it's a work uniform
February 8, 2026 at 8:25 PM
every other Epstein email is like "hav u thougght abo ut [psychosexual insanity]? we need it for [genteel insinuation of corporate fascism]"
This is bleak: Jes Staley, currently CEO of Barclays, reassuring Epstein that popular revolt against financial elites is unlikely because capitalism and pop culture have defanged social movements, leaving people more invested in consumption than justice.
February 7, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Reposted by Evan Washington
on the balance i think partisan gerrymandering is bad but the only way it ends is if democrats weaponize it against republicans everywhere they can. wiping out republican lawmakers in blue states might bring the GOP to the table to end the practice.
February 7, 2026 at 2:35 PM
- Jameela Jamil would *genuinely* have conflict with Miss Piggy
- Mark Wahlberg would be terrible and I would 100% watch it twice
- iShowSpeed. why is he in a cage match with Kermit?!
- true terror, unwatchable: Jared Leto, Rob Schneider
sort of curious who would be a *terrible* muppet show guest host. to nuke myself from orbit, i am starting with gillian anderson
janelle monáe, ke huy quan and pedro pascal
February 7, 2026 at 2:29 AM
bro ur a first pancake in the batch.. ur not reaching ur full potential
February 7, 2026 at 2:15 AM
- Mulaney (but he's beefing with Fozzie the entire time)
- Lady Gaga
- Liam Neeson
- T-Pain
- Vince Staples
- Timothee Chalamet (definitely already called him)
- Rick Astley
Who do you want to guest host a potential revival of The Muppet Show?
Here’s Who We Want to Guest Host ‘The Muppet Show’ If It’s Revived
February 6, 2026 at 10:51 PM
Reposted by Evan Washington
sure you might have seen my name in the big pdf that got released titled “list of draculas currently operating in the united states.” here’s why that’s NOT a big deal:
February 6, 2026 at 1:40 AM
everyone replying to this is a fool. his name is clearly Shrill Cancel
This is Will Stancil’s Wario
Was this very mid-2000s emo person press-ganged into ICE servitude?
February 6, 2026 at 5:32 AM
finally. just what the world needed: the Quillette special issue defending ~ephebophilia~. can't wait to read LoliconGoonazi's article
Charles Manson.
February 5, 2026 at 10:22 PM
someone save her!!!!!
In to days discruse. BBQ dosent take time or labour.
February 5, 2026 at 10:04 PM
listen, under no circumstances do you have to hand it to ted kaczynski. however,
February 5, 2026 at 6:21 PM