DS9 Assay Office Clerk
@ds9assayoffice.bsky.social
The assay office is the most secure location on the station.
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
I act younger than I am because I wasted 20 years of my life
February 9, 2026 at 1:03 PM
I act younger than I am because I wasted 20 years of my life
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
one of those israeli military jizz retrieval units going berserk and jacking off a whole village
February 9, 2026 at 7:59 AM
one of those israeli military jizz retrieval units going berserk and jacking off a whole village
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I sometimes brush my teeth with my left hand, so it feels like a stranger
February 9, 2026 at 3:41 PM
I sometimes brush my teeth with my left hand, so it feels like a stranger
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eating a powerful mushroom that grants me the strength to survive being bumped into by a turtle one time
September 23, 2023 at 5:58 AM
eating a powerful mushroom that grants me the strength to survive being bumped into by a turtle one time
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(documentary talking heads)
MARC MARON: you gotta understand, he put out FULL BLAST positivity CONSTANTLY — so naturally i could never stand him ha ha — but it blinded a lot of industry people
KEVIN JAMES: his positivity was magnetic
SILHOUETTE (clearly Baby Bop): Barney was.. a master manipulator
MARC MARON: you gotta understand, he put out FULL BLAST positivity CONSTANTLY — so naturally i could never stand him ha ha — but it blinded a lot of industry people
KEVIN JAMES: his positivity was magnetic
SILHOUETTE (clearly Baby Bop): Barney was.. a master manipulator
February 8, 2026 at 6:33 PM
(documentary talking heads)
MARC MARON: you gotta understand, he put out FULL BLAST positivity CONSTANTLY — so naturally i could never stand him ha ha — but it blinded a lot of industry people
KEVIN JAMES: his positivity was magnetic
SILHOUETTE (clearly Baby Bop): Barney was.. a master manipulator
MARC MARON: you gotta understand, he put out FULL BLAST positivity CONSTANTLY — so naturally i could never stand him ha ha — but it blinded a lot of industry people
KEVIN JAMES: his positivity was magnetic
SILHOUETTE (clearly Baby Bop): Barney was.. a master manipulator
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
doctor: well mr. yoda, we fixed the language center of your brain. you should talk totally normal now
yoda: thanks dude
yoda: thanks dude
May 27, 2025 at 12:38 AM
doctor: well mr. yoda, we fixed the language center of your brain. you should talk totally normal now
yoda: thanks dude
yoda: thanks dude
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This is bleak: Jes Staley, currently CEO of Barclays, reassuring Epstein that popular revolt against financial elites is unlikely because capitalism and pop culture have defanged social movements, leaving people more invested in consumption than justice.
February 6, 2026 at 10:23 PM
This is bleak: Jes Staley, currently CEO of Barclays, reassuring Epstein that popular revolt against financial elites is unlikely because capitalism and pop culture have defanged social movements, leaving people more invested in consumption than justice.
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
reverse kidnapping where i tie myself up and throw myself into the trunk of your car
February 7, 2026 at 7:31 AM
reverse kidnapping where i tie myself up and throw myself into the trunk of your car
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Hi kids, do you like silence? Wanna see me take NyQuil gels and watch the back of my eyelids? Wanna copy me and snooze exactly like I did? Placid and tucked in, first hit the light switch? My brain's delta waves, I'm tryna get my bed made, but I can't figure out which size pillow I want to hibernate
February 7, 2026 at 6:22 AM
Hi kids, do you like silence? Wanna see me take NyQuil gels and watch the back of my eyelids? Wanna copy me and snooze exactly like I did? Placid and tucked in, first hit the light switch? My brain's delta waves, I'm tryna get my bed made, but I can't figure out which size pillow I want to hibernate
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*borat voice* 6-7
February 7, 2026 at 7:48 AM
*borat voice* 6-7
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if i heard a dog talking in rfk jr's voice i'd think, Well obviously that's pretty amazing but it's not like, earth shattering
September 7, 2025 at 1:01 AM
if i heard a dog talking in rfk jr's voice i'd think, Well obviously that's pretty amazing but it's not like, earth shattering
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In an effort to ever-so-gently annoy a colleague I've been calling all machines and tech at work The Apparatus. Should The Apparatus be doing that? Are you finished with The Apparatus? I have woken this morning to an email written and sent after midnight requesting me to stop.
February 7, 2026 at 8:30 AM
In an effort to ever-so-gently annoy a colleague I've been calling all machines and tech at work The Apparatus. Should The Apparatus be doing that? Are you finished with The Apparatus? I have woken this morning to an email written and sent after midnight requesting me to stop.
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Police and their media allies are using the horrors of Trump’s ICE kidnaps squads to launder police depts’ reputations and promote a baseless narrative of successful post George Floyd “reforms”. I wrote about this is PR blitz and why it’s bullshit.
Appealing to imagined reforms, center-left media tastemakers assure their audiences DHS violence exists outside the otherwise progressive status quo: by @ahjohnson.bsky.social
US media rushes to defend police departments from liberal backlash against ICE
Appealing to imagined reforms, center-left media tastemakers assure their audiences DHS violence exists outside the otherwise progressive status quo.
therealnews.com
February 7, 2026 at 5:24 AM
Police and their media allies are using the horrors of Trump’s ICE kidnaps squads to launder police depts’ reputations and promote a baseless narrative of successful post George Floyd “reforms”. I wrote about this is PR blitz and why it’s bullshit.
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
fuck the police. kill ice. marry the fire department
February 7, 2026 at 5:26 AM
fuck the police. kill ice. marry the fire department
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This would fix me
Physics of a direct hit from an RPG type projectile
February 7, 2026 at 12:28 AM
This would fix me
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speaking from a place of privilege (has never used a pride flag as bedroom decor)
June 3, 2025 at 3:16 PM
speaking from a place of privilege (has never used a pride flag as bedroom decor)
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It’s not considered midwestern to be a dilettante so they had to make up something called ‘food poisoning’
February 5, 2026 at 3:42 AM
It’s not considered midwestern to be a dilettante so they had to make up something called ‘food poisoning’
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Ppl fawned over Picasso 4 being great & inflated his ego but a kid that never arts can have a hand on par w him & when you gas em up they’re like “but art is boring” & that’s so legendary to me
February 4, 2026 at 11:33 AM
Ppl fawned over Picasso 4 being great & inflated his ego but a kid that never arts can have a hand on par w him & when you gas em up they’re like “but art is boring” & that’s so legendary to me
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It’s above 30 degrees hellyeah. I’m listening to Fleetwood Mac and sunning my perineum
February 3, 2026 at 6:47 PM
It’s above 30 degrees hellyeah. I’m listening to Fleetwood Mac and sunning my perineum
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*flirting* No, baby, you're depressed
February 4, 2026 at 12:19 PM
*flirting* No, baby, you're depressed
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like Mega Man, I receive the power of any boss I defeat, so now I have micro managing, anger issues, and tax fraud
February 4, 2026 at 12:50 PM
like Mega Man, I receive the power of any boss I defeat, so now I have micro managing, anger issues, and tax fraud
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kids have several notable experience landmarks they pass
yesterday my daughter saw the swamp scene in The Neverending Story for the first time
yesterday my daughter saw the swamp scene in The Neverending Story for the first time
February 3, 2026 at 3:24 AM
kids have several notable experience landmarks they pass
yesterday my daughter saw the swamp scene in The Neverending Story for the first time
yesterday my daughter saw the swamp scene in The Neverending Story for the first time
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hey baby. would you like to, how do I put this. “deal with my psychological issues”
February 3, 2026 at 4:50 AM
hey baby. would you like to, how do I put this. “deal with my psychological issues”
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the subtitles for this movie described a horn honk as [car hooting]
February 3, 2026 at 6:10 AM
the subtitles for this movie described a horn honk as [car hooting]
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
hacking her mainframe til she [dial-up noises]
June 19, 2025 at 12:47 AM
hacking her mainframe til she [dial-up noises]