🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
@dadmoonrising.bsky.social
Real dad, moon parody. Trying to find humor in everyday life
I've got a daytime job, I'm doing all right
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vv7x4rqhaet5poqhlap53btt/feed/aaacnzz6sv472
I've got a daytime job, I'm doing all right
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vv7x4rqhaet5poqhlap53btt/feed/aaacnzz6sv472
Pinned
my son is 18 now so it's time to have the talk. I think he's ready to learn about the importance of assembling a good cable and cord drawer.
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
If we were to bring back dueling, we would have a lot less offended people.
February 6, 2026 at 1:29 PM
If we were to bring back dueling, we would have a lot less offended people.
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
going to the gym with a dalmatian and asking it to spot me
February 6, 2026 at 3:15 PM
going to the gym with a dalmatian and asking it to spot me
Ah yes I see the problem, classic mistake. Instead of building the city on a stable, well-drained, load-bearing soil you built it on Rock & Roll
February 6, 2026 at 2:48 PM
Ah yes I see the problem, classic mistake. Instead of building the city on a stable, well-drained, load-bearing soil you built it on Rock & Roll
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
The older I get, the more my brain feels like it was stirred with a fork.
February 6, 2026 at 1:39 PM
The older I get, the more my brain feels like it was stirred with a fork.
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
If you send a man to the grocery store, clear your schedule. You are now live customer support for the entire trip. Might as well go yourself.
February 5, 2026 at 12:50 AM
If you send a man to the grocery store, clear your schedule. You are now live customer support for the entire trip. Might as well go yourself.
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
the golden bond girls: thread
February 6, 2026 at 12:11 AM
the golden bond girls: thread
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
Get in loser, the street lights are on and your mom told me to come find you
February 6, 2026 at 5:34 AM
Get in loser, the street lights are on and your mom told me to come find you
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
A Canadian that doesn’t like poutine is considered Eh-typical.
February 6, 2026 at 3:02 AM
A Canadian that doesn’t like poutine is considered Eh-typical.
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
Magic mushrooms my ass. I ate some and nothing magical happened for the entire 2,000 years I spent living on a rainbow and herding unicorns.
February 6, 2026 at 12:40 AM
Magic mushrooms my ass. I ate some and nothing magical happened for the entire 2,000 years I spent living on a rainbow and herding unicorns.
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
I suppose one good thing these days is that no one asks for doggy bags anymore
February 6, 2026 at 1:41 AM
I suppose one good thing these days is that no one asks for doggy bags anymore
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
BANANA POEM
Bananas are yellow
A tasty tube fruit
Yummy and boneless
In a tight yellow suit
Bananas with ice cream
Make my heart flutter
Elvis put them in sammies
With smooth peanut butter
They're healthy and filling
And favoured by monkeys
But eat em right quick
Or they get brown and funky
Bananas are yellow
A tasty tube fruit
Yummy and boneless
In a tight yellow suit
Bananas with ice cream
Make my heart flutter
Elvis put them in sammies
With smooth peanut butter
They're healthy and filling
And favoured by monkeys
But eat em right quick
Or they get brown and funky
February 5, 2026 at 3:04 AM
BANANA POEM
Bananas are yellow
A tasty tube fruit
Yummy and boneless
In a tight yellow suit
Bananas with ice cream
Make my heart flutter
Elvis put them in sammies
With smooth peanut butter
They're healthy and filling
And favoured by monkeys
But eat em right quick
Or they get brown and funky
Bananas are yellow
A tasty tube fruit
Yummy and boneless
In a tight yellow suit
Bananas with ice cream
Make my heart flutter
Elvis put them in sammies
With smooth peanut butter
They're healthy and filling
And favoured by monkeys
But eat em right quick
Or they get brown and funky
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
I was cut from a different, less absorbent, cloth.
February 5, 2026 at 10:46 PM
I was cut from a different, less absorbent, cloth.
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
My 10 favourite digits (in no particular order)
6
0
2
9
1
7
4
8
3
5
6
0
2
9
1
7
4
8
3
5
February 5, 2026 at 6:39 PM
My 10 favourite digits (in no particular order)
6
0
2
9
1
7
4
8
3
5
6
0
2
9
1
7
4
8
3
5
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
Incredible stuff happening at Spencer’s Gifts
February 5, 2026 at 5:38 PM
Incredible stuff happening at Spencer’s Gifts
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
adopt don’t shop muppets: thread
February 5, 2026 at 3:15 AM
adopt don’t shop muppets: thread
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
I can’t go outside in several blue states because my sideburns violate local open carry laws thanks NRA
February 5, 2026 at 11:54 AM
I can’t go outside in several blue states because my sideburns violate local open carry laws thanks NRA
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
As I get older I've come to realize there is no position I can be in without some part of my body falling asleep.
February 5, 2026 at 1:25 PM
As I get older I've come to realize there is no position I can be in without some part of my body falling asleep.
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
BECOME UNGOVERNABLE
February 5, 2026 at 1:27 PM
BECOME UNGOVERNABLE
this antique abacus is going to be worth a fortune some day. I'm counting on it
February 5, 2026 at 2:50 PM
this antique abacus is going to be worth a fortune some day. I'm counting on it
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
i don’t see how The Who doesn’t open for every superb owl
February 4, 2026 at 5:02 PM
i don’t see how The Who doesn’t open for every superb owl
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
Democracy Dies with Dumbasses
February 4, 2026 at 4:25 PM
Democracy Dies with Dumbasses
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
Today's breakfast and last night's pizza appear remarkably similar.
February 4, 2026 at 2:08 PM
Today's breakfast and last night's pizza appear remarkably similar.
he's right behind me, isn't he?
February 4, 2026 at 3:22 PM
he's right behind me, isn't he?
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
(maintaining eye contact while scraping the brussels sprouts you made me into the compost)
February 4, 2026 at 1:23 AM
(maintaining eye contact while scraping the brussels sprouts you made me into the compost)
Reposted by 🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒
Me trying to post a joke that offends absolutely no one.
February 3, 2026 at 6:23 PM
Me trying to post a joke that offends absolutely no one.