Boring Phil
@boringphil.bsky.social
Kava Chief of Schooner Island 2022.
Pinned
Boring Phil
@boringphil.bsky.social
· Nov 21
An app that helps you recognise different types of insects called Spotafly I'll see myself out
Rage Against The McRib
July 8, 2025 at 7:54 AM
Rage Against The McRib
Not one person at this funeral has even commented on my sweet nWo shirt
April 23, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Not one person at this funeral has even commented on my sweet nWo shirt
I may not be technically savvy but I can work the self-serve kiosk at Hungry Jacks like a motherfucker
January 9, 2025 at 6:30 AM
I may not be technically savvy but I can work the self-serve kiosk at Hungry Jacks like a motherfucker
Reposted by Boring Phil
It’s important to hang out in the living room to get excited about returning to your bedroom.
January 9, 2025 at 2:31 AM
It’s important to hang out in the living room to get excited about returning to your bedroom.
Reposted by Boring Phil
I picked my bank based on who would give me the most free lollipops.
January 9, 2025 at 5:42 AM
I picked my bank based on who would give me the most free lollipops.
Reposted by Boring Phil
I will peel a carrot or I will wash a carrot but no way am I doing both.
Pastor: These are very unusual vows.
Pastor: These are very unusual vows.
January 9, 2025 at 3:29 AM
I will peel a carrot or I will wash a carrot but no way am I doing both.
Pastor: These are very unusual vows.
Pastor: These are very unusual vows.
On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat lozenges to the wolf with the COVID symptoms?
January 9, 2025 at 2:19 AM
On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat lozenges to the wolf with the COVID symptoms?
Post your favourite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only.
December 21, 2024 at 9:25 PM
Post your favourite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only.
Reposted by Boring Phil
Back to the Future but it’s just me trying to break my parents up at the dance
December 21, 2024 at 8:42 PM
Back to the Future but it’s just me trying to break my parents up at the dance
Reposted by Boring Phil
It’s a cold and it’s a broken “cowabunga”
December 21, 2024 at 1:25 AM
It’s a cold and it’s a broken “cowabunga”
In prison you only get season 8 of The Office
December 20, 2024 at 8:03 PM
In prison you only get season 8 of The Office
Reposted by Boring Phil
Interviewer: why did you leave your last job?
[flashback to me maniacally laughing as it burned to the ground]
Me: they went out of business
[flashback to me maniacally laughing as it burned to the ground]
Me: they went out of business
December 20, 2024 at 3:43 PM
Interviewer: why did you leave your last job?
[flashback to me maniacally laughing as it burned to the ground]
Me: they went out of business
[flashback to me maniacally laughing as it burned to the ground]
Me: they went out of business
Reposted by Boring Phil
Banned from paintball for trying to broker a peace agreement
December 19, 2024 at 5:27 AM
Banned from paintball for trying to broker a peace agreement
I've walked groves in different area codes.
December 19, 2024 at 4:42 AM
I've walked groves in different area codes.
Call 1-800-MY-BALLS today to hear about some amazing offers!
December 19, 2024 at 12:56 AM
Call 1-800-MY-BALLS today to hear about some amazing offers!
My wife can turn any room into an escape room, she just needs me to make a pun-based joke
December 18, 2024 at 11:43 PM
My wife can turn any room into an escape room, she just needs me to make a pun-based joke
Reposted by Boring Phil
Arachnophobia is so stupid. Gay spiders should be able to get married.
December 18, 2024 at 11:21 PM
Arachnophobia is so stupid. Gay spiders should be able to get married.
Reposted by Boring Phil
My wife and I argue using baby voices so we don’t scare the dogs
December 18, 2024 at 11:10 PM
My wife and I argue using baby voices so we don’t scare the dogs
Reposted by Boring Phil
sorry you’re so mad about gender because you hate the idea of even more genders rejecting you
December 15, 2024 at 2:33 AM
sorry you’re so mad about gender because you hate the idea of even more genders rejecting you
Teeth so white they're starting a M*A*S*H podcast.
December 18, 2024 at 8:18 PM
Teeth so white they're starting a M*A*S*H podcast.
Reposted by Boring Phil
[first day as a lawyer]
ME: did you commit the crime
DEFENDANT: no
ME: are you lying
DEFENDANT: no
ME: *looks pointedly at jury* i rest my case
ME: did you commit the crime
DEFENDANT: no
ME: are you lying
DEFENDANT: no
ME: *looks pointedly at jury* i rest my case
December 18, 2024 at 7:45 PM
[first day as a lawyer]
ME: did you commit the crime
DEFENDANT: no
ME: are you lying
DEFENDANT: no
ME: *looks pointedly at jury* i rest my case
ME: did you commit the crime
DEFENDANT: no
ME: are you lying
DEFENDANT: no
ME: *looks pointedly at jury* i rest my case
Reposted by Boring Phil
My ambition for 2024 was to become a full-time tech reviewer so here's my review of some of the big-name phones that were released this year
December 17, 2024 at 9:18 PM
My ambition for 2024 was to become a full-time tech reviewer so here's my review of some of the big-name phones that were released this year
Reposted by Boring Phil
me: best two out of three?
judge: no
judge: no
December 17, 2024 at 10:47 PM
me: best two out of three?
judge: no
judge: no