Ben Allain 🥌
@benallain.bsky.social
My other car is another car that has a sticker that says my other car is this car.
🦅 & 🍁
🦅 & 🍁
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
Vance: I'm crying right now because you stupids won't let me have your green island. I could literally just - don't you know I'm smarter than you? I'm your better - don't leave, don't get the army
Trump: McDonald's needs to sell milk again. Nobody likes the Grimace. They get the milk from him
Trump: McDonald's needs to sell milk again. Nobody likes the Grimace. They get the milk from him
January 15, 2026 at 12:26 AM
Vance: I'm crying right now because you stupids won't let me have your green island. I could literally just - don't you know I'm smarter than you? I'm your better - don't leave, don't get the army
Trump: McDonald's needs to sell milk again. Nobody likes the Grimace. They get the milk from him
Trump: McDonald's needs to sell milk again. Nobody likes the Grimace. They get the milk from him
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
(•_•)
<) )╯ STRONGLY
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Chuck Schumer sends letter about NSPM-7 to Attorney General Pam Bondi
January 15, 2026 at 1:25 AM
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Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
There are so many migrant farm workers snapping up $7800/month one-bedrooms in Westwood
HUD Secretary Scott Turner: "100% of rental demand in California and New York is because of illegal immigration"
January 13, 2026 at 1:12 AM
There are so many migrant farm workers snapping up $7800/month one-bedrooms in Westwood
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
This is a cartoon about housing.
January 11, 2026 at 12:51 PM
This is a cartoon about housing.
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
"It wasn't murder, and if you say it was murder we will kill you, which again will not be murder."
Homan: "We gotta stop the hateful rhetoric. Saying this officer is a murderer is dangerous. It's just ridiculous. It's gonna infuriate people more which means there's gonna be more incidents like this."
January 11, 2026 at 5:04 PM
"It wasn't murder, and if you say it was murder we will kill you, which again will not be murder."
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
This thread is the best refutation of social-media doomerism that I have seen.
This kind of thing does point out a real ethical dilemma: block or mute?
January 10, 2026 at 5:05 PM
This thread is the best refutation of social-media doomerism that I have seen.
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
'Thanks for calling. Did you know, on our website...' YES I HAVE TRIED YOUR WEBSITE BECAUSE IT IS THE 21ST CENTURY, BUT YOU SEE, YOUR WEBSITE IS A LOAD OF OLD SHIT, SO I AM CALLING IN THE - I ADMIT, FAINT - HOPE OF INTERACTING WITH A FUCKING HUMAN BEING
January 8, 2026 at 1:14 PM
'Thanks for calling. Did you know, on our website...' YES I HAVE TRIED YOUR WEBSITE BECAUSE IT IS THE 21ST CENTURY, BUT YOU SEE, YOUR WEBSITE IS A LOAD OF OLD SHIT, SO I AM CALLING IN THE - I ADMIT, FAINT - HOPE OF INTERACTING WITH A FUCKING HUMAN BEING
Man this is ballshit
CNN graphics put the asterisk in the wrong place, it appears…
January 8, 2026 at 4:53 AM
Man this is ballshit
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
one of the things i hate most about this persistent line of argument is the implication that any of these actions would be fine if groceries were cheaper
The White House is laser focused on threatening a military takeover of Greenland.
Where’s the same focus on lowering costs?
Where’s the same focus on lowering costs?
January 7, 2026 at 4:10 PM
one of the things i hate most about this persistent line of argument is the implication that any of these actions would be fine if groceries were cheaper
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
After a year in which Trump has bombed ...
- Venezuela
- Nigeria
- Iran
- Yemen
- Syria
- Somalia
- and civilian boats in international waters
... I’m thinking about the voters who convinced themselves that Trump was the candidate of foreign policy restraint.
- Venezuela
- Nigeria
- Iran
- Yemen
- Syria
- Somalia
- and civilian boats in international waters
... I’m thinking about the voters who convinced themselves that Trump was the candidate of foreign policy restraint.
January 3, 2026 at 2:06 PM
After a year in which Trump has bombed ...
- Venezuela
- Nigeria
- Iran
- Yemen
- Syria
- Somalia
- and civilian boats in international waters
... I’m thinking about the voters who convinced themselves that Trump was the candidate of foreign policy restraint.
- Venezuela
- Nigeria
- Iran
- Yemen
- Syria
- Somalia
- and civilian boats in international waters
... I’m thinking about the voters who convinced themselves that Trump was the candidate of foreign policy restraint.
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
I feel like I haven’t even been properly lied to about the purposes of this war
January 3, 2026 at 9:13 AM
I feel like I haven’t even been properly lied to about the purposes of this war
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
all the proud maga isolationists now hastily adding an S to their AMERICA FIRST signs
January 3, 2026 at 1:26 PM
all the proud maga isolationists now hastily adding an S to their AMERICA FIRST signs
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
To sum up, a US president is going to war without congressional authorization against a sovereign nation that has not attacked or threatened it, and is doing so like a thief in the night, with no explanation for the American people or the world. It is all so unimaginable that it strains credulity.
January 3, 2026 at 9:38 AM
To sum up, a US president is going to war without congressional authorization against a sovereign nation that has not attacked or threatened it, and is doing so like a thief in the night, with no explanation for the American people or the world. It is all so unimaginable that it strains credulity.
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
I mean I really feel like maybe we could just not
January 3, 2026 at 12:50 PM
I mean I really feel like maybe we could just not
Hey it's almost as if murdering 100 people with missiles in the ocean and having the CIA blow up a dock were tests to see if the public gave enough of a shit about what they were doing to pick their heads up from TikTok and ChatGPT for two seconds to even casually glance at a single fuckin war crime
January 3, 2026 at 11:18 AM
Hey it's almost as if murdering 100 people with missiles in the ocean and having the CIA blow up a dock were tests to see if the public gave enough of a shit about what they were doing to pick their heads up from TikTok and ChatGPT for two seconds to even casually glance at a single fuckin war crime
Can we at least try to avoid getting nuked until my Canadian passport arrives in the mail? Thanks.
January 3, 2026 at 11:08 AM
Can we at least try to avoid getting nuked until my Canadian passport arrives in the mail? Thanks.
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
So confusing how he didn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize, awarded annually to the worst fucking guy who does the stupidest most destructive shit
January 3, 2026 at 9:03 AM
So confusing how he didn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize, awarded annually to the worst fucking guy who does the stupidest most destructive shit
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
FYI: New Year resolutions don't begin until Monday Jan 5. You're allowed to maintain your bad habits for the rest of the weekend. I don't make the rules (actually, I did make this one, but my vow to stop making arbitrary rules doesn't kick in till Monday).
January 1, 2026 at 7:26 PM
FYI: New Year resolutions don't begin until Monday Jan 5. You're allowed to maintain your bad habits for the rest of the weekend. I don't make the rules (actually, I did make this one, but my vow to stop making arbitrary rules doesn't kick in till Monday).
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
the markets seem pretty confident that the next year is going to be called 2026. i still think it’s gonna be glenn. my money’s on glenn
January 1, 2026 at 12:49 AM
the markets seem pretty confident that the next year is going to be called 2026. i still think it’s gonna be glenn. my money’s on glenn
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
so what do you think ChatGPT will say when ten million people ask it who they should vote for next year
December 31, 2025 at 1:44 PM
so what do you think ChatGPT will say when ten million people ask it who they should vote for next year
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
One of the best to ever do it
December 30, 2025 at 2:09 PM
One of the best to ever do it
People are saying that new NMJ is the main thing to look forward to on Christmas these days. I don't mind it
A very many Christmas to you all!
A very many Christmas to you all!
Here for those interested is the answer to my most frequently asked question of 2025 (and every other year till I die). I'll keep trying for a new set. MERRY BLOODY CHRISTMAS.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Mwj...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Mwj...
🎄 Christmas Special 2025 – No More Jockeys with Alex Horne, Tim Key + Mark Watson
YouTube video by No More Jockeys
www.youtube.com
December 25, 2025 at 3:56 PM
People are saying that new NMJ is the main thing to look forward to on Christmas these days. I don't mind it
A very many Christmas to you all!
A very many Christmas to you all!
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
I heard there was a secret meat
With paprika, and spicy heat
But you don't really care for sausage
Nduja
...sorry, I can delete this. I've just seen a few posts in this format and I wanted in.
With paprika, and spicy heat
But you don't really care for sausage
Nduja
...sorry, I can delete this. I've just seen a few posts in this format and I wanted in.
December 17, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I heard there was a secret meat
With paprika, and spicy heat
But you don't really care for sausage
Nduja
...sorry, I can delete this. I've just seen a few posts in this format and I wanted in.
With paprika, and spicy heat
But you don't really care for sausage
Nduja
...sorry, I can delete this. I've just seen a few posts in this format and I wanted in.
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
CBS paid the president of the United States millions in bribe money and now they censor news reports so it does not annoy him. I don’t know how much plainer we can put this.
December 22, 2025 at 12:14 PM
CBS paid the president of the United States millions in bribe money and now they censor news reports so it does not annoy him. I don’t know how much plainer we can put this.