Jregory Eels IV
@aaleiv.bsky.social
he/him. your lawyer's paralegal with several screws loose. has regrets. probably has OCD (and tends to forget this, needs to be reminded).
Pinned
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
*AI blooper reel*
![AI Overview - To make medicine patches stick, you must apply them to clean, dry, -free, and hairless skin, pressing firmly for 30 seconds, and avoid lotions/creams beforehand; if it still won't stick, use medical tape or transparent dressings (like Tegaderm) around the edges, not butter, as fats prevent adhesion. Butter actually hinders stickiness, so always wipe it off first, then secure with proper tape if needed. [pic of woman putting bandage on her shoulder]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dbzmdmsaz6lkhb4tv3culzme/bafkreievdqy3j5d7ppafyif53mdx4uvdmvqydrdheshbndp5jlwszihxry@jpeg)
December 16, 2025 at 3:09 PM
*AI blooper reel*
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
"I've had enough of your bullshit"
Me: I don't believe you. Here's some more
Me: I don't believe you. Here's some more
December 21, 2025 at 12:52 PM
"I've had enough of your bullshit"
Me: I don't believe you. Here's some more
Me: I don't believe you. Here's some more
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
Sooooooooo weary
December 21, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Sooooooooo weary
Perhaps a drunken sext
You is sharks, sartin; but if you gobern de shark in you, why den you be angel; for all angel is not’ing more dan de shark well goberned.
December 21, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Perhaps a drunken sext
One of my cats was stealing my roommate's english muffins off the counter and bringing them upstairs and before I was able to identify what he was eating I kept yelling "WHAT DO YOU HAVE??" as if he would answer me
I've had cats for nearly 30 years, and I still apparently have this idea that telling a cat "hey, that doesn't belong to you" is actually going to work at some point.
December 21, 2025 at 2:14 PM
One of my cats was stealing my roommate's english muffins off the counter and bringing them upstairs and before I was able to identify what he was eating I kept yelling "WHAT DO YOU HAVE??" as if he would answer me
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
![Me: *earns some money*
Insurance company: [emoji looking shy and two fingers pointed at each other] is for me?
mybodyistryingtokillme.com](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dbzmdmsaz6lkhb4tv3culzme/bafkreiheunpujhdz5jy46azr543abidtseqt2higkeefzaronefxdgdkii@jpeg)
ME: "I have had 2 drinks and no food and I'm more intoxicated than I intended to be"
DIVORCED MAN: *puts a hamburger in front of me*
BODY: *recoils* N O F O O D
ME: come on, we have to drive home later and it would be rude not to eat it
BODY: DID I FUCKING STUTTER
DIVORCED MAN: *puts a hamburger in front of me*
BODY: *recoils* N O F O O D
ME: come on, we have to drive home later and it would be rude not to eat it
BODY: DID I FUCKING STUTTER
December 21, 2025 at 2:02 PM
ME: "I have had 2 drinks and no food and I'm more intoxicated than I intended to be"
DIVORCED MAN: *puts a hamburger in front of me*
BODY: *recoils* N O F O O D
ME: come on, we have to drive home later and it would be rude not to eat it
BODY: DID I FUCKING STUTTER
DIVORCED MAN: *puts a hamburger in front of me*
BODY: *recoils* N O F O O D
ME: come on, we have to drive home later and it would be rude not to eat it
BODY: DID I FUCKING STUTTER
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
![@univertuosAbbey - When your Pentecostal friend invites you to their four hour long Christmas Ee extravaganza at their church [pic of a covid test and person is using a red pencil to make it look positive]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:lxm3v43kiuo4gdun45a4zivh/bafkreid7r4tuxth6hq3br7h3v7pozamqbpimzy2tj4ctly2z2ajumzux3i@jpeg)
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
my discover feed has been littered with puppy play and hazbin hotel
How do I unsubscribe
How do I unsubscribe
December 21, 2025 at 1:42 PM
my discover feed has been littered with puppy play and hazbin hotel
How do I unsubscribe
How do I unsubscribe
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
Now with less material.
December 20, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Now with less material.
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
I wonder what spells the Accessibility Wizard can cast
December 21, 2025 at 12:01 PM
I wonder what spells the Accessibility Wizard can cast
my favorite joke is sending men a pic of a positive COVID test and saying "it's yours"
December 21, 2025 at 1:21 PM
my favorite joke is sending men a pic of a positive COVID test and saying "it's yours"
being sick is lonely and boring
December 21, 2025 at 1:19 PM
being sick is lonely and boring
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
obsessed with stardew valley's "there's no meat in this game because butchering animals you've loving raised just feels too sad :(" but also having a game mechanic where you can sacrifice your actual children
December 21, 2025 at 7:39 AM
obsessed with stardew valley's "there's no meat in this game because butchering animals you've loving raised just feels too sad :(" but also having a game mechanic where you can sacrifice your actual children
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
This is how I sext
Ah, the world! Oh, the world!
December 21, 2025 at 11:49 AM
This is how I sext
This is how I sext
this one small brain think thoughts
December 21, 2025 at 11:37 AM
This is how I sext
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
December 21, 2025 at 3:51 AM
This is how I sext
Love is here but I guess it's gone now (hurry up babe, hurry up babe)
December 21, 2025 at 11:33 AM
This is how I sext
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
Ebenezer Scrooge starts his night in front of a cozy fire eating a meager meal of bread and cheese and then is visited by ghosts of all the mistakes he’s made and will make?
Guys. I don’t need Christmas. I do this all the time. I’m doing it right now. It’s called charcuterie and anxiety.
Guys. I don’t need Christmas. I do this all the time. I’m doing it right now. It’s called charcuterie and anxiety.
December 21, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Ebenezer Scrooge starts his night in front of a cozy fire eating a meager meal of bread and cheese and then is visited by ghosts of all the mistakes he’s made and will make?
Guys. I don’t need Christmas. I do this all the time. I’m doing it right now. It’s called charcuterie and anxiety.
Guys. I don’t need Christmas. I do this all the time. I’m doing it right now. It’s called charcuterie and anxiety.
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
Pantone just updated their Color Of The Year
December 20, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Pantone just updated their Color Of The Year
Reposted by Jregory Eels IV
