St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
@simeonthefool.bsky.social
Patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Sillier than thou. Pitied by Mr. T.
An analog man with home-grown organs and fully-articulated skeleton bones for transporting my ghost. Only 90-year-old kids will get this.
An analog man with home-grown organs and fully-articulated skeleton bones for transporting my ghost. Only 90-year-old kids will get this.
Pinned
Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians
Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Cackling
Today's Perfectly AWFUL pun
Today's Perfectly AWFUL pun
King Arthur’s mother
Had a significant Uther
Had a significant Uther
November 11, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Cackling
Today's Perfectly AWFUL pun
Today's Perfectly AWFUL pun
Pewter was born on July thirty eighth twenty sixteen in New Orleans Louisiana with his parents and grandparents in Louisiana on August seventeenth twenty eighteen in twenty nineteen in New York Louisiana with his wife and two daughters who had been living in New Orleans since he left for Louisiana
November 11, 2025 at 5:11 AM
Pewter was born on July thirty eighth twenty sixteen in New Orleans Louisiana with his parents and grandparents in Louisiana on August seventeenth twenty eighteen in twenty nineteen in New York Louisiana with his wife and two daughters who had been living in New Orleans since he left for Louisiana
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Help mom I’m being bullied by 87 year old novella writer Joyce Carol Oates again can you pick me up
November 11, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Help mom I’m being bullied by 87 year old novella writer Joyce Carol Oates again can you pick me up
King Arthur’s mother
Had a significant Uther
Had a significant Uther
November 11, 2025 at 4:43 AM
King Arthur’s mother
Had a significant Uther
Had a significant Uther
Trousers! This has been, a tweet dedicated to trousers.
November 11, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Trousers! This has been, a tweet dedicated to trousers.
Imagine being a guy who impersonates Edgar Allan Poe for a living, there have to be some such guys
November 11, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Imagine being a guy who impersonates Edgar Allan Poe for a living, there have to be some such guys
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Watching this Joyce Carol Oates vs Elon thing like Salieri watched Mozart in AMADEUS...
a close up of a man 's face with his eyes closed and a candle in the background .
Alt: a close up of a salieris face with his eyes closed and a candle in the background .
media.tenor.com
November 11, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Watching this Joyce Carol Oates vs Elon thing like Salieri watched Mozart in AMADEUS...
Good rest, Merry gentlemen
But nothing you just me
Remember, remember, save your
Who was born on Christmas Day?
Who’s bar?
When we were going straight
Oh tiny have come forward and enjoy and enjoy
Who tidy to come for enjoy
But nothing you just me
Remember, remember, save your
Who was born on Christmas Day?
Who’s bar?
When we were going straight
Oh tiny have come forward and enjoy and enjoy
Who tidy to come for enjoy
November 11, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Good rest, Merry gentlemen
But nothing you just me
Remember, remember, save your
Who was born on Christmas Day?
Who’s bar?
When we were going straight
Oh tiny have come forward and enjoy and enjoy
Who tidy to come for enjoy
But nothing you just me
Remember, remember, save your
Who was born on Christmas Day?
Who’s bar?
When we were going straight
Oh tiny have come forward and enjoy and enjoy
Who tidy to come for enjoy
It’s actually a finely targeted scientific experiment on how much it takes to induce a case of human spontaneous combustion,
“whatever club he’s invited to join has been devalued by the invitation”
November 11, 2025 at 4:23 AM
It’s actually a finely targeted scientific experiment on how much it takes to induce a case of human spontaneous combustion,
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Every time someone’s like “put that in the louvre,” my head now goes “and then steal it from the louvre, the security password is louvre”
November 11, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Every time someone’s like “put that in the louvre,” my head now goes “and then steal it from the louvre, the security password is louvre”
Oh yeah, nice place, I know some folks from up that way
(Raised in incorruption)
November 11, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Oh yeah, nice place, I know some folks from up that way
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Traffic update:
If you're heading over the Troll Bridge today, his 3 riddles include questions about goat grooming, historical wigs, and ghost bones.
Good luck!
If you're heading over the Troll Bridge today, his 3 riddles include questions about goat grooming, historical wigs, and ghost bones.
Good luck!
November 11, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Traffic update:
If you're heading over the Troll Bridge today, his 3 riddles include questions about goat grooming, historical wigs, and ghost bones.
Good luck!
If you're heading over the Troll Bridge today, his 3 riddles include questions about goat grooming, historical wigs, and ghost bones.
Good luck!
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Union Card
November 11, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Pumpkin Spice Union Card
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
[WITCHES stirring a cauldron labeled “BlueSky,” chanting:]
Discourse, Discourse, bubble in spate,
Tell us the topic we must debate!
[The cauldron boils. It begins to shake. It hisses as it heats up with a bright red glow. The lights flicker. It rises and floats into the air.]
WITCH 1: oh shit
Discourse, Discourse, bubble in spate,
Tell us the topic we must debate!
[The cauldron boils. It begins to shake. It hisses as it heats up with a bright red glow. The lights flicker. It rises and floats into the air.]
WITCH 1: oh shit
April 26, 2025 at 3:38 AM
[WITCHES stirring a cauldron labeled “BlueSky,” chanting:]
Discourse, Discourse, bubble in spate,
Tell us the topic we must debate!
[The cauldron boils. It begins to shake. It hisses as it heats up with a bright red glow. The lights flicker. It rises and floats into the air.]
WITCH 1: oh shit
Discourse, Discourse, bubble in spate,
Tell us the topic we must debate!
[The cauldron boils. It begins to shake. It hisses as it heats up with a bright red glow. The lights flicker. It rises and floats into the air.]
WITCH 1: oh shit
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Orange Juice
November 10, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Pumpkin Spice Orange Juice
The thing about making bots by hand is it can be hard to anticipate which word combinations will be funny and which ones will get you put on a list
November 10, 2025 at 8:08 PM
The thing about making bots by hand is it can be hard to anticipate which word combinations will be funny and which ones will get you put on a list
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Joyce Carol Oates
November 6, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Pumpkin Spice Joyce Carol Oates
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Unspoken Accusation
November 10, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Pumpkin Spice Unspoken Accusation
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Honestly I’m still sore from the monster mash.
November 10, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Honestly I’m still sore from the monster mash.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Scrooge
November 10, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Pumpkin Spice Scrooge
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Decolonization
November 10, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Pumpkin Spice Decolonization
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
A little while ago, my parents' cat Bridget went missing. As the weeks dragged on, they became extremely worried. My dad devised a way to distract himself: he began to paint Bridget's adventures, imagining her travelling through time and popping up in some of art and music's most iconic scenes.
September 1, 2025 at 7:52 PM
A little while ago, my parents' cat Bridget went missing. As the weeks dragged on, they became extremely worried. My dad devised a way to distract himself: he began to paint Bridget's adventures, imagining her travelling through time and popping up in some of art and music's most iconic scenes.
“What the hell is this?”
“The fresh one, sir!”
“What?”
“Nice and fresh just like you ordered.”
“That is definitely not what I ordered.”
“Oh, here’s the other one, too!”
“What fresh hell is this?!”
“The fresh one, sir!”
“What?”
“Nice and fresh just like you ordered.”
“That is definitely not what I ordered.”
“Oh, here’s the other one, too!”
“What fresh hell is this?!”
November 10, 2025 at 3:22 PM
“What the hell is this?”
“The fresh one, sir!”
“What?”
“Nice and fresh just like you ordered.”
“That is definitely not what I ordered.”
“Oh, here’s the other one, too!”
“What fresh hell is this?!”
“The fresh one, sir!”
“What?”
“Nice and fresh just like you ordered.”
“That is definitely not what I ordered.”
“Oh, here’s the other one, too!”
“What fresh hell is this?!”
Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
November 10, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.