Sock Holliday
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sockholliday.bsky.social
Sock Holliday
@sockholliday.bsky.social
Maybe going viral on a third social media platform will fix me | Worser half of Mela Shea
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Not hot, not cold, but a third, secret temperature that only my wife can feel
You better start taking notes immediately before some documentarian shows up asking about your sister/brother/mother/coworker/teacher/boss/ex-lover/barber/mechanic/guyyouknewinhighschool20yearsago
October 24, 2025 at 6:13 AM
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My roommate saw me put more cheese onto a frozen pizza & it was like I unlocked something in him. I saw the wheels turning as he realized we don't have to settle for the default amount of cheese the pizza overlords offer us. What goes onto the frozen pizza is in our control. We have the power.
June 15, 2025 at 6:27 PM
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"Things might be tough but it's great for artists! They'll create more!" You might not believe me but going through a lifetime's worth of stress Every Single Week for years and years- is actually not the optimal set of circumstances that inspires artists to create
January 25, 2025 at 5:12 AM
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind had it right
August 18, 2025 at 3:43 AM
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*during sex*

But did you ever say that stuff to anybody else before?
August 18, 2025 at 1:09 AM
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“I’VE BEEN KICKED OUT OF CLASSIER BARS THAN THIS,” I scream at my house
August 15, 2025 at 10:53 PM
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It’s about time you stopped being a bystander and became a passerby.
August 16, 2025 at 12:39 PM
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Never put off till tomorrow who you can put off today.
August 17, 2025 at 11:41 AM
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I hate when I order too large a portion of ribs that it tips my car over and my modern stone age family has to get back home on foot.
August 17, 2025 at 3:22 PM
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Nothing brings my family together quite like a weak WiFi signal.
August 17, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Omg you guys my 25-year-old daughter just gave me her preliminary Christmas list and she is asking for 107 dolls what do I do?
May 6, 2025 at 5:07 AM
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heard my wife telling her friends that fire season comes earlier every year which is messed up cause her nickname for me is fire season
March 30, 2025 at 1:39 AM
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A pronoun referring to a specific thing previously mentioned, known, or understood.

That.
March 30, 2025 at 12:42 PM
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I wouldn't know where to start if someone presented me with a bag of dicks.
March 30, 2025 at 6:37 PM
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Witch from Hansel and Gretel: Hey guys, welcome to my cooking channel, be sure to smash that subscribe button *children’s voices at the door* ok! let’s get started
March 30, 2025 at 10:29 PM
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Goodbye, Elmo. You…”red”…communist piece of sh*t!
March 31, 2025 at 10:30 AM
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sorry i yelled crouching tiger hidden dragon when you fell down the stairs
March 31, 2025 at 2:18 PM
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"How was your weekend?"

Emotionally unstable. Yours?
March 31, 2025 at 6:17 PM
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"GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE" I yell as I bludgeon you to death with a baby
March 31, 2025 at 9:40 PM
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Oh, you go to the gym daily? That's nice. Sometimes I tell myself that stirring risotto makes for good arm muscles.
March 31, 2025 at 11:24 PM
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This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.
February 18, 2025 at 6:33 PM
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Does this later-life crisis make me look younger?
March 31, 2025 at 5:11 PM
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“Excuse me, waiter?”
“Yes sir, is there a problem?”
“I asked for my pasta al dente.”
“Was it prepared incorrectly?”
“I’m afraid it’s a little Chewie.”
March 31, 2025 at 2:30 PM
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I just want to live in a world where I don’t have to say, “What the fuck is wrong with people?” every time I leave my house.
August 5, 2023 at 12:55 PM
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If you're mocking somebody without naming them and it's not me please add "Not you Jim." to your post. Thank you.
March 21, 2025 at 12:09 PM