Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

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Jerry Chen

@jcsalterego.bsky.social

behold, the platonic ideal of social media

three posts:

- gef the toking mongoose: "Dune 2 chicks at the same time" with diedrich bader in his role as Lawrence in Office Space (1999) altered to have blue eyes (eyes of ibad)
- emceekayvee mentions/tags diedrich bader
- diedrich bader: Thank you for bringing this to my attention

December 12, 2025 at 6:01 PM

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The Onion

@theonion.com

Inconsiderate Woman On Bus Eating Live Tuna https://theonion.com/inconsiderate-woman-on-bus-eating-live-tuna-1819575933/

December 11, 2025 at 3:00 PM

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jenny tightpants

@jtp.bsky.social

the gay awards

December 12, 2025 at 12:36 AM

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The Onion

@theonion.com

Plex Submits $35 Bid For Warner Bros.

LOS GATOS, CA—In an attempt to fend off growing competition from Paramount and Netflix, Plex CEO Keith Valory announced Monday that the streaming platform had submitted a $35 bid for Warner Bros. Disc...

theonion.com

December 8, 2025 at 10:30 PM

shit jake says

@shit-jake-says.bsky.social

Had to cancel the monthly DnD game I get to run because a player couldn't make it last minute.

I've been prepping since November 1st and we won't get to play till February

December 10, 2025 at 5:26 PM

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mcc

@dryad.technology

Relatable

Legend of Zelda screenshot. Malon: "Everyone seems to be turning evil…"

December 9, 2025 at 11:40 PM

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PISS_SHITTER

@amiyatzin.bsky.social

turkey’s been cooking in white wine and spices and olive oil since 4am. i’ll put up with any amount of gender abuse for that fucking bird.

November 27, 2025 at 7:48 PM

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more mr. nice guy

@juniorhoncho.bsky.social

put your frozen turkey in whatever pot you want. it's yours. you own it. these government safety thugs want to control every aspect of our lives with fear and intimidation. well guess what. it's normal for houses to burn down. happens all the time. ooooh i'm soo scared of regular stuff. yeah right

November 23, 2025 at 2:12 PM

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Colin Stark

@cstark.bsky.social

Nope. The headline should actually read “Astronomers using ML discover quasars acting as lenses”

November 18, 2025 at 5:21 AM

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Stephen Collins

@stephencollins.bsky.social

Every ad now

[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.]

JANET:
Ugh...

LIZ:
What's up?

JANET:
I am so bored of cooking peas!

LIZ:
Have you tried...

AI peas?

JANET:
AI peas?

LIZ:
They're peas with AI!

[Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI].

LIZ:
Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas

JANET:
What

LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines]

Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas?

[Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it]

LIZ:

Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine

[Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas]

LIZ:
With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas!

JANET:
What

LIZ:
Shut up

LIZ:
Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow

From opening the bag of peas

to boiling the peas

to eating the peas

To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means.

JANET:
Is it really necessary to-

LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]:
THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET

[Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan:

AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas.

[Ends]

November 13, 2025 at 5:38 PM

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Stupid Twink

@stupidtwink.bsky.social

a girl sits up in bed looking at her computer

she thinks to herself in four separate panels: “buh... i thought jacking off would help me sleep”
“but the wank was too shameful and now my insomnias worse...”
“i should really just end it all ngi”

she looks to a poster of a cat hanging onto a rope that says “Hang In there, baby!” and says “no!! ur right little kitty!!!”

November 18, 2025 at 7:55 AM

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Catherine

@shadowdogdesigns.bsky.social

A #Skydiver Appears to Fall from the #Sun in a Stunning Image

#photography #Icarus Credit: Andrew McCarthy

Link for more: www.thisiscolossal.com/2025/11/andr...

November 17, 2025 at 9:53 PM

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Ryan H.

@ryan.blacksky.app

November 15, 2025 at 2:57 AM

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PISS_SHITTER

@amiyatzin.bsky.social

trans women praising the pope for being almost as progressive on trans rights as the Islamic Republic of Iran... when will you learn? The true followers of His message will always be decades ahead of a yakubian dago on a golden throne.

November 15, 2025 at 12:47 AM

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Gef the Toking Mongoose

@geftokingmongoose.bsky.social

I should have never smoked that shit now I'm in unreal tournament

The should have never smoked that shit meme but the guy is sitting on the edge of the unreal tournament map Facing Worlds

September 18, 2024 at 3:12 AM

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good hyuck, babe!

@markpopham.bsky.social

getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning

November 14, 2025 at 4:06 AM