ian
@schmeckles.bsky.social
he/him, 30
made up of mostly diet coke.
NC, USA
made up of mostly diet coke.
NC, USA
Reposted by ian
Reposted by ian
guys will claim to be God Fearing Men but then you look around at church on sunday and you're the only one screaming
April 5, 2025 at 4:38 AM
guys will claim to be God Fearing Men but then you look around at church on sunday and you're the only one screaming
Reposted by ian
Reposted by ian
they really need to invent a second type of money these guys can play around with separate from the money I need to buy food. Business Money. Money 2
April 2, 2025 at 8:33 PM
they really need to invent a second type of money these guys can play around with separate from the money I need to buy food. Business Money. Money 2
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my wife: did you find out why your mom was in the hospital
me: that's what I'm doing now
what I'm typing: purple smoke means the pope is smoking that good
me: that's what I'm doing now
what I'm typing: purple smoke means the pope is smoking that good
March 17, 2025 at 8:13 PM
my wife: did you find out why your mom was in the hospital
me: that's what I'm doing now
what I'm typing: purple smoke means the pope is smoking that good
me: that's what I'm doing now
what I'm typing: purple smoke means the pope is smoking that good
Reposted by ian
guys love to say “dude my balatro run last night was insane” then show you a screenshot like this
March 11, 2025 at 9:50 PM
guys love to say “dude my balatro run last night was insane” then show you a screenshot like this
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biblically accurate angel who's showing a lot of cleavage: hey pal, my eyes are everywhere else
March 8, 2025 at 1:06 AM
biblically accurate angel who's showing a lot of cleavage: hey pal, my eyes are everywhere else
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He deserves every bit of it but I don’t know how Drake can watch anything on tv at any time and not be worried about this. He turns on Bluey and the dad is like “you know who I’d never let babysit you?”
“We’re halfway through the show, which means it's time for Kendrick Lamar to come out and call Drake a pedophile”
— Conan O'Brien at the #Oscars
— Conan O'Brien at the #Oscars
March 3, 2025 at 2:59 AM
He deserves every bit of it but I don’t know how Drake can watch anything on tv at any time and not be worried about this. He turns on Bluey and the dad is like “you know who I’d never let babysit you?”
what if I just manifest winning the lottery, is that how that works
March 1, 2025 at 1:55 PM
what if I just manifest winning the lottery, is that how that works
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KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
July 17, 2023 at 3:57 AM
KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
Reposted by ian
Me trying to remember the word "bluegrass"
June 2, 2024 at 4:01 PM
Me trying to remember the word "bluegrass"
Reposted by ian
Reposted by ian
Playing the NFL on Fox injury theme in my head whenever I feel depressed
February 26, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Playing the NFL on Fox injury theme in my head whenever I feel depressed
I should just delete Twitter huh
February 26, 2025 at 10:24 PM
I should just delete Twitter huh
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When JK Rowling realized she would never be as good a children's author as Roald Dahl was she took a secret blood oath to defeat him at bigotry
April 16, 2024 at 5:31 PM
When JK Rowling realized she would never be as good a children's author as Roald Dahl was she took a secret blood oath to defeat him at bigotry
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White Gamers will Cum when they see "The Mario of Halo"
March 30, 2024 at 11:54 PM
White Gamers will Cum when they see "The Mario of Halo"
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This is Chris Christie
December 23, 2023 at 11:32 PM
This is Chris Christie
Reposted by ian
Reposted by ian
Tried to vaporize a medieval peasant by playing a My Bloody Valentine riff for him but he was just like "be this Smashing Pumpkins?"
December 23, 2023 at 5:04 AM
Tried to vaporize a medieval peasant by playing a My Bloody Valentine riff for him but he was just like "be this Smashing Pumpkins?"
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Loudly calling down the stairs to my sister and asking if her plumbing can handle my Dude Wipes.
December 21, 2023 at 1:03 AM
Loudly calling down the stairs to my sister and asking if her plumbing can handle my Dude Wipes.
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Grok refusing to be transphobic is ruining the night of some of the biggest, dumbest pieces of shit alive. Really heartwarming
December 9, 2023 at 3:44 AM
Grok refusing to be transphobic is ruining the night of some of the biggest, dumbest pieces of shit alive. Really heartwarming
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welcome to the jungle we got lots of trees we got all the poison snakes and a bunch of chimpanzees
October 4, 2023 at 10:56 PM
welcome to the jungle we got lots of trees we got all the poison snakes and a bunch of chimpanzees
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just typed up a new post for you to have to look at
December 7, 2023 at 3:16 AM
just typed up a new post for you to have to look at
Reposted by ian
is it possible for a peter griffin skin boy and a goku skin girl to find love on the battlefield?
December 4, 2023 at 4:15 AM
is it possible for a peter griffin skin boy and a goku skin girl to find love on the battlefield?