Nick McGregor
@nickmcgregor.bsky.social
Scottish. Book geek. Meme lover. Living vicariously through other people's cat photos.
Reposted by Nick McGregor
Reposted by Nick McGregor
Margaret: Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret
God: Fuck
God: Fuck
December 29, 2024 at 3:57 AM
Margaret: Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret
God: Fuck
God: Fuck
"Truth is, there ain't much call for a horse shouterer nowadays, ma'am. Especially with all this traffic."
December 29, 2024 at 10:52 AM
"Truth is, there ain't much call for a horse shouterer nowadays, ma'am. Especially with all this traffic."
Reposted by Nick McGregor
Being held for questioning sounds so nice
December 12, 2024 at 11:46 PM
Being held for questioning sounds so nice
Might be the vodka talking but chocolate coins in this economy is a bit on the nose.
December 29, 2024 at 1:12 AM
Might be the vodka talking but chocolate coins in this economy is a bit on the nose.
Reposted by Nick McGregor
Go ahead, go to war with the American people in the era of Luigi, you exploitative fuck.
December 28, 2024 at 12:22 PM
Go ahead, go to war with the American people in the era of Luigi, you exploitative fuck.
Reposted by Nick McGregor
Reposted by Nick McGregor
Can't babe. I'm writing a power ballad about the Nakatomi Plaza.
December 24, 2024 at 12:44 PM
Can't babe. I'm writing a power ballad about the Nakatomi Plaza.
Reposted by Nick McGregor
*being charged as an accessory*
that sounds promising am I sparkly
that sounds promising am I sparkly
December 18, 2024 at 9:11 PM
*being charged as an accessory*
that sounds promising am I sparkly
that sounds promising am I sparkly
Reposted by Nick McGregor
The one time I tried to put reindeer antlers on my cat she said the word "don't" in a normal human voice. Too afraid to recreate this under lab conditions.
December 18, 2024 at 9:36 PM
The one time I tried to put reindeer antlers on my cat she said the word "don't" in a normal human voice. Too afraid to recreate this under lab conditions.
Reposted by Nick McGregor
Me: I need a loan to start a business making old fashioned pants for female sheep.
Bank: No.
Me: *Sadly* Then it's over for Ewe Britches.
Bank: No.
Me: *Sadly* Then it's over for Ewe Britches.
December 15, 2024 at 6:00 PM
Me: I need a loan to start a business making old fashioned pants for female sheep.
Bank: No.
Me: *Sadly* Then it's over for Ewe Britches.
Bank: No.
Me: *Sadly* Then it's over for Ewe Britches.
Reposted by Nick McGregor
This is the most ridiculous thing ever and also the best ever use of LinkedIn.
December 12, 2024 at 8:58 PM
This is the most ridiculous thing ever and also the best ever use of LinkedIn.
Reposted by Nick McGregor
[crime scene]
partner: there are two kinds of bullets but only one set of footprints
me: *whispering* jesus
partner: oh shit, jesus
partner: there are two kinds of bullets but only one set of footprints
me: *whispering* jesus
partner: oh shit, jesus
July 9, 2023 at 3:13 PM
[crime scene]
partner: there are two kinds of bullets but only one set of footprints
me: *whispering* jesus
partner: oh shit, jesus
partner: there are two kinds of bullets but only one set of footprints
me: *whispering* jesus
partner: oh shit, jesus
Reposted by Nick McGregor
What’s up hun, your so quite whilst dancing?
Silence of the Lambada
Silence of the Lambada
December 12, 2024 at 5:37 PM
What’s up hun, your so quite whilst dancing?
Silence of the Lambada
Silence of the Lambada
Reposted by Nick McGregor
Statistically you're more likely to be killed by a vending machine than a shark, but here at Sharkvend™ we think we may have found a way to even those odds.
December 9, 2024 at 9:54 PM
Statistically you're more likely to be killed by a vending machine than a shark, but here at Sharkvend™ we think we may have found a way to even those odds.
Reposted by Nick McGregor
bubble wrap doesn't excite me like it used to,
i guess i just don't understand pop culture anymore
i guess i just don't understand pop culture anymore
December 10, 2024 at 6:45 PM
bubble wrap doesn't excite me like it used to,
i guess i just don't understand pop culture anymore
i guess i just don't understand pop culture anymore
Reposted by Nick McGregor
after a lifetime of riding bicycles once and then throwing them away i've finally started to consider recycling
December 10, 2024 at 7:28 PM
after a lifetime of riding bicycles once and then throwing them away i've finally started to consider recycling
Reposted by Nick McGregor
I'm a soldier
In a Greek horse I hide
I'm one of
Several others inside
- Trojon Bon Jovi
In a Greek horse I hide
I'm one of
Several others inside
- Trojon Bon Jovi
December 7, 2024 at 12:47 PM
I'm a soldier
In a Greek horse I hide
I'm one of
Several others inside
- Trojon Bon Jovi
In a Greek horse I hide
I'm one of
Several others inside
- Trojon Bon Jovi
Reposted by Nick McGregor
starbucks barista: order for cathy lou
cthulhu: (visibly incensed) i guess that's me
cthulhu: (visibly incensed) i guess that's me
October 24, 2024 at 4:39 PM
starbucks barista: order for cathy lou
cthulhu: (visibly incensed) i guess that's me
cthulhu: (visibly incensed) i guess that's me
Reposted by Nick McGregor
Executioner: What do you want for your last meal?
Me: Can it be anything
Executioner: Correct
Me: I'll have one Nimitz class aircraft carrier
Me: Can it be anything
Executioner: Correct
Me: I'll have one Nimitz class aircraft carrier
December 7, 2024 at 8:51 AM
Executioner: What do you want for your last meal?
Me: Can it be anything
Executioner: Correct
Me: I'll have one Nimitz class aircraft carrier
Me: Can it be anything
Executioner: Correct
Me: I'll have one Nimitz class aircraft carrier