@morgan886.bsky.social
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I used to be married to an active, vibrant, happy young woman who decided one day to hang a bird feeder in the back yard, and now I’m married to a glassy-eyed, unwashed maniac that stands at the kitchen window all day screaming at squirrels.
June 9, 2025 at 5:33 PM
I used to be married to an active, vibrant, happy young woman who decided one day to hang a bird feeder in the back yard, and now I’m married to a glassy-eyed, unwashed maniac that stands at the kitchen window all day screaming at squirrels.
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Man he really hates being called a taco, doesn’t he? Might even say he’s got a thin shell.
June 3, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Man he really hates being called a taco, doesn’t he? Might even say he’s got a thin shell.
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starting to have second thoughts about the contractors i found on craigslist
May 29, 2025 at 7:36 PM
starting to have second thoughts about the contractors i found on craigslist
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Fine. I'll just get attention the old fashioned way (self immolation)
May 9, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Fine. I'll just get attention the old fashioned way (self immolation)
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i gave mine a little hat
May 6, 2025 at 3:59 PM
i gave mine a little hat
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They're a 10 but it's out of 1000
May 5, 2025 at 2:42 AM
They're a 10 but it's out of 1000
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Double down on crazy women. Great sex and maybe death?
Yes, please.
Yes, please.
April 24, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Double down on crazy women. Great sex and maybe death?
Yes, please.
Yes, please.
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I know I truly love and care about someone when I add their location to my weather app so I can check to see what their day is like over there
April 23, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I know I truly love and care about someone when I add their location to my weather app so I can check to see what their day is like over there
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I am not just sitting here I'm experimenting with potential energy.
March 13, 2025 at 12:47 PM
I am not just sitting here I'm experimenting with potential energy.
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There are two kinds of people, and they both tried to shoot that goddamn Duck Hunt dog.
March 13, 2025 at 12:02 PM
There are two kinds of people, and they both tried to shoot that goddamn Duck Hunt dog.
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#Zelenskyy - Undefeated rock, paper, scissors champion.
March 5, 2025 at 1:31 PM
#Zelenskyy - Undefeated rock, paper, scissors champion.
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you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.
March 5, 2025 at 10:34 PM
you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.
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I am hungry for rich people
March 6, 2025 at 9:22 PM
I am hungry for rich people
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If you sneeze 3 times in a row, a dad shows up to say well done (and hand you a tissue)
February 24, 2025 at 12:39 PM
If you sneeze 3 times in a row, a dad shows up to say well done (and hand you a tissue)
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i am semi convinced blood is going to fire out of my eyes and or neck next time literally anything happens
February 12, 2025 at 10:26 AM
i am semi convinced blood is going to fire out of my eyes and or neck next time literally anything happens
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I bet someone out there had the sex last night. And now they have quite the little mess to clean up. Sucker.
February 15, 2025 at 3:57 PM
I bet someone out there had the sex last night. And now they have quite the little mess to clean up. Sucker.
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I got my favorite rating at work!
“Slightly Above Average”
✅ respectable raise & uplift
✅ efficient but thoughtful
✅ not expected to do more
According to my wife it matches my bedroom performance.
“Slightly Above Average”
✅ respectable raise & uplift
✅ efficient but thoughtful
✅ not expected to do more
According to my wife it matches my bedroom performance.
February 11, 2025 at 10:00 PM
I got my favorite rating at work!
“Slightly Above Average”
✅ respectable raise & uplift
✅ efficient but thoughtful
✅ not expected to do more
According to my wife it matches my bedroom performance.
“Slightly Above Average”
✅ respectable raise & uplift
✅ efficient but thoughtful
✅ not expected to do more
According to my wife it matches my bedroom performance.
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I’d just like to shout out humans for at least seeing through NFTs as the most idiotic idea possible.
February 11, 2025 at 3:51 PM
I’d just like to shout out humans for at least seeing through NFTs as the most idiotic idea possible.
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Like every alpha male I went through a cross-stitching phase at age 11.
February 11, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Like every alpha male I went through a cross-stitching phase at age 11.
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When you can’t sleep at night so you get up to have a snack instead that’s ins-om-nom-nom-nia
February 4, 2025 at 7:05 PM
When you can’t sleep at night so you get up to have a snack instead that’s ins-om-nom-nom-nia
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Was listening to The Logical Song by Supertramp, and I don't know why I'm just now catching the lyrics:
"I said, now, watch what you say, they'll be calling you a radical, A liberal, oh, fanatical, criminal."
"I said, now, watch what you say, they'll be calling you a radical, A liberal, oh, fanatical, criminal."
January 24, 2025 at 10:05 AM
Was listening to The Logical Song by Supertramp, and I don't know why I'm just now catching the lyrics:
"I said, now, watch what you say, they'll be calling you a radical, A liberal, oh, fanatical, criminal."
"I said, now, watch what you say, they'll be calling you a radical, A liberal, oh, fanatical, criminal."
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yesterday I assembled an entire woodshed without even needing to consult the instructions
Today I will dismantle an entire woodshed
Tomorrow I will re-assemble an entire woodshed, this time while consulting the instructions
Today I will dismantle an entire woodshed
Tomorrow I will re-assemble an entire woodshed, this time while consulting the instructions
January 20, 2025 at 1:42 PM
yesterday I assembled an entire woodshed without even needing to consult the instructions
Today I will dismantle an entire woodshed
Tomorrow I will re-assemble an entire woodshed, this time while consulting the instructions
Today I will dismantle an entire woodshed
Tomorrow I will re-assemble an entire woodshed, this time while consulting the instructions