Ian Martin
@ianmartin.bsky.social
The Thick of It/The Hartlepool Spy/Veep/The Death of Stalin/Unhinged/Epic Space/Broken English
Reposted by Ian Martin
![[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.]
JANET:
Ugh...
LIZ:
What's up?
JANET:
I am so bored of cooking peas!
LIZ:
Have you tried...
AI peas?
JANET:
AI peas?
LIZ:
They're peas with AI!
[Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI].
LIZ:
Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas
JANET:
What
LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines]
Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas?
[Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it]
LIZ:
Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine
[Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas]
LIZ:
With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas!
JANET:
What
LIZ:
Shut up
LIZ:
Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow
From opening the bag of peas
to boiling the peas
to eating the peas
To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means.
JANET:
Is it really necessary to-
LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]:
THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET
[Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan:
AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayqa37f7kik7l7s7fbtfp2sir5ckb662ry2lylinyjrfa2rkvvka@jpeg)
Reposted by Ian Martin
So, it's my birthday today. Had a haircut, so I don't need anything else. But if anyone wanted to make a little gift to this year's Leeds Care Leavers Christmas, that would be lovely.
www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding...
www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding...
Help raise £5000 to Support The Christmas Dinner Leeds – JustGiving Crowdfunding
Iʼm raising money to Support The Christmas Dinner Leeds. Support this JustGiving Crowdfunding Page.
www.justgiving.com
November 13, 2025 at 11:14 AM
So, it's my birthday today. Had a haircut, so I don't need anything else. But if anyone wanted to make a little gift to this year's Leeds Care Leavers Christmas, that would be lovely.
www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding...
www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding...
Like everybody else on Bluesky, I have several books to occasionally shout about in the run-up to death. There's a heavily-reduced-on-the-shitsite book, basically a pisstake of Boris Johnson for the price of a fancy burger...
www.amazon.co.uk/Unhinged-Par...
www.amazon.co.uk/Unhinged-Par...
Unhinged: A Parody: Amazon.co.uk: Martin, Ian: 9781526686633: Books
Satirical take on Boris Johnson's life and rise to power, written by acclaimed political satirist Ian Martin. A must-read for fans of British political humor.
www.amazon.co.uk
November 13, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Like everybody else on Bluesky, I have several books to occasionally shout about in the run-up to death. There's a heavily-reduced-on-the-shitsite book, basically a pisstake of Boris Johnson for the price of a fancy burger...
www.amazon.co.uk/Unhinged-Par...
www.amazon.co.uk/Unhinged-Par...
Reposted by Ian Martin
I’m very surprised AI can detect sarcasm. That already makes it more advanced than most of BlueSky.
November 13, 2025 at 3:27 PM
I’m very surprised AI can detect sarcasm. That already makes it more advanced than most of BlueSky.
Whoa, I was writing something yesterday about Odessa Road. Born at the hospital nearby in 1953, first place I lived. Number 92. Seven of us crammed in and honestly, it was the opposite of gentrified then. Tommy the milkman's horse, all that. Our little East End offshoot moved to Essex in 57.
In 2002 I bought a pretty much identical house to this in Forest Gate for 150k It needed ~100k of work to replace the floors, electrics, plumbing, kitchen, bathroom etc, but still. Could only afford it because I was a Finance Manager for JPMorgan FFS. Now? £600k+
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/1...
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/1...
Check out this 2 bedroom terraced house for sale on Rightmove
2 bedroom terraced house for sale in Odessa Road, Forest Gate, E7 for £600,000. Marketed by The Stow Brothers, Wanstead and Leytonstone
www.rightmove.co.uk
November 13, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Whoa, I was writing something yesterday about Odessa Road. Born at the hospital nearby in 1953, first place I lived. Number 92. Seven of us crammed in and honestly, it was the opposite of gentrified then. Tommy the milkman's horse, all that. Our little East End offshoot moved to Essex in 57.
Reposted by Ian Martin
So, happy 48th anniversary of That Lovely Diary Entry From Michael Palin
November 13, 2025 at 11:24 AM
So, happy 48th anniversary of That Lovely Diary Entry From Michael Palin
Reposted by Ian Martin
What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?
It's the Pope in 1982.
It's the Pope in 1982.
November 13, 2025 at 1:37 AM
What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?
It's the Pope in 1982.
It's the Pope in 1982.
Reposted by Ian Martin
November 13, 2025 at 7:08 AM
Reposted by Ian Martin
The best video in the history of the internet*
*cetacean needed
*cetacean needed
Doug Brazil is the cameraman who captured the glorious footage, which eventually, of course, found its way to YouTube and became very popular indeed
The Exploding Whale: An infamous moment in Oregon history creates a strangely beloved icon
YouTube video by KATU News
www.youtube.com
November 12, 2025 at 4:43 PM
The best video in the history of the internet*
*cetacean needed
*cetacean needed
Has anyone seen this guy with slightly more hair in the same room as the nonce formerly known as Prince?
November 12, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Has anyone seen this guy with slightly more hair in the same room as the nonce formerly known as Prince?
Crazy Horses is the new real fake religious affiliation. Nordic Pagan was a hit for The Osmonds.
Hegseth: "We don't need to be a military of beardos anymore. Do you know how many troops claim to be Nordic Pagan? No, suddenly it's become this real fake religious affiliation inside the Pentagon where troops came to be Nordic Pagan so they can grow a beard and nobody challenges them on it."
November 12, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Crazy Horses is the new real fake religious affiliation. Nordic Pagan was a hit for The Osmonds.
November 12, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Reposted by Ian Martin
"Con medicine"
Absolute carnage in the family group chat as my cousin posts a Christmas riddle from her fiancé’s office that no one can figure out, only to find that someone in the office got ChatGPT to make up the riddle and it’s gibberish that doesn’t have a solution
November 12, 2025 at 3:11 PM
"Con medicine"
Reposted by Ian Martin
Lest we forget to do this yesterday.
November 12, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Lest we forget to do this yesterday.
Reposted by Ian Martin
everyone is twelve
Hegseth: "We don't need to be a military of beardos anymore. Do you know how many troops claim to be Nordic Pagan? No, suddenly it's become this real fake religious affiliation inside the Pentagon where troops came to be Nordic Pagan so they can grow a beard and nobody challenges them on it."
November 12, 2025 at 2:57 PM
everyone is twelve
Reposted by Ian Martin
Alternatively this (h/t @lettersofnote.com):
November 12, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Alternatively this (h/t @lettersofnote.com):
Reposted by Ian Martin
I like how the small tools look like Goldfish crackers. 🧪🏺
Ancient DNA reveals mysterious Indigenous lineage that lived in Argentina for nearly 8,500 years — but rarely interacted with others
A previously unknown Indigenous population lived in central Argentina for nearly 8,500 years, a new genetic study finds.
www.livescience.com
November 12, 2025 at 2:08 PM
I like how the small tools look like Goldfish crackers. 🧪🏺
Yes.
NEW
The letter the BBC could send back to Trump
A proposal for a reply to his $1bn claim
By me. Enjoy.
emptycity.substack.com/p/the-letter...
The letter the BBC could send back to Trump
A proposal for a reply to his $1bn claim
By me. Enjoy.
emptycity.substack.com/p/the-letter...
The letter the BBC could send back to Trump
A proposal for a reply to his $1bn claim
emptycity.substack.com
November 12, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Yes.
A Cerberus of dickheads.
Chophouse Cloth Cornhill, which is moving into the Square Mile institution’s building, is promising to honour its history with more long, wine-fuelled lunches
Doors of City of London favourite Simpson’s Tavern to swing open again
www.thetimes.com
November 12, 2025 at 2:05 PM
A Cerberus of dickheads.
Reposted by Ian Martin
