happilyabbily.bsky.social
@happilyabbily.bsky.social
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I have tariffed
the penguins
that are on
Heard Island

and which
you were probably
assuming
did not export goods

forgive me
they were taking advantage of us
so cunning
and so cold
April 3, 2025 at 7:45 PM
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Salad, because I like chewing my water
April 4, 2025 at 1:19 PM
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It's me, I'm bitches

- Payback, probably
March 12, 2025 at 1:32 PM
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Zelenskyy wasn’t humiliated yesterday but every single patriotic American sure was.
March 1, 2025 at 3:46 PM
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Yes
March 1, 2025 at 2:23 AM
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*joins violent mob wielding my wrought iron butterfly lawn ornament*
February 21, 2025 at 7:42 PM
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Bro are you ok? Your wizened visage appears forlorn
February 17, 2025 at 2:21 AM
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February 14, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Never been to a Buc-ees. About to walk in. What am I missing? #bucvirgin #bucees
February 13, 2025 at 7:51 PM
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👇👇👇👇
January 26, 2025 at 2:37 PM
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for every 50 likes i’ll provide proof that muppets are being murdered for fashion.
February 9, 2025 at 9:32 PM
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Ontario: Chill the fuck out y’all.
February 10, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Sublime
February 10, 2025 at 3:26 AM
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Heroic Secret Service Agent Shields Trump From Brittany Mahomes theonion.com/heroic-...
February 10, 2025 at 2:25 AM
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Oh good they did
they should let kansas city score one so they don’t feel bad about themselves, these kids have to face their dads afterward
February 10, 2025 at 2:26 AM
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Hey kids, wanna go feed the *suddenly forgets the word 'ducks'*...lake chickens
February 9, 2025 at 7:37 PM
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Today’s chest and leg day.

-me, ordering at KFC
December 5, 2024 at 2:04 PM
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[Arby's drive-thru]

(muffled voice from deep inside Trojan horse): ask for extra horsey sauce
February 7, 2025 at 6:01 PM
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Who sees the most buttholes each day?

A) Proctologist

B) Cat Owners
February 7, 2025 at 4:25 PM
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Guy 1: I’m gonna braid these threads into string

Guy 2: I already braided those threads into string

Guy 1: but I wanted to braid the threads into string

Guy 2: well you can’t because they are already string for I have braided them

Guy 1, about to invent rope: WELL I’M GONNA BRAID THEM AGAIN
February 5, 2025 at 1:30 PM
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February 5, 2025 at 5:09 PM
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February 5, 2025 at 7:25 AM
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BREAKING: KRISTI NOEM REFUSES TO RULE OUT DETAINING WOMEN, CHILDREN AT GUANTANAMO BAY AS PART OF DEPORTATION SWEEP — MEET THE PRESS
February 2, 2025 at 3:15 PM
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Remember when maga lost their minds because Hillary had a private email server? Anyway, a buncha random unelected 20 year old tech bros now have access to every single American's Social Security number so that's cool.
February 4, 2025 at 6:09 PM
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Fritolaysia Cuts Off Chiplomatic Relations With Snakistan
theonion.com/fritola...
February 3, 2025 at 3:00 PM