@gsamsa.bsky.social
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We’re watching a baby pūkeko. Look at the size of that foot!
December 19, 2025 at 1:06 AM
We’re watching a baby pūkeko. Look at the size of that foot!
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We gotta get people off the computer somehow. Making it suck fucking ass isn’t working so far
December 10, 2025 at 8:34 PM
We gotta get people off the computer somehow. Making it suck fucking ass isn’t working so far
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Level 1 bandit boyfriend giving me the ick by making a little gurgling sound as his rusty pot helm is stove in by a mace
December 3, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Level 1 bandit boyfriend giving me the ick by making a little gurgling sound as his rusty pot helm is stove in by a mace
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hey bro do u feel that pastoral wind?
November 15, 2025 at 10:14 PM
hey bro do u feel that pastoral wind?
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grizled settler scanning the brocapped mountains we cant homestead here this valley is chopped
November 11, 2025 at 3:11 PM
grizled settler scanning the brocapped mountains we cant homestead here this valley is chopped
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It's always "why did you drain the swamplands, our families can no longer make a living crafting leather goods from swampgoblin hide" and never "how is the new tourney ground? Are ye winning sire?"
November 4, 2025 at 12:12 PM
It's always "why did you drain the swamplands, our families can no longer make a living crafting leather goods from swampgoblin hide" and never "how is the new tourney ground? Are ye winning sire?"
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in the end ishmael never did call me. still, i hope he's happy out there
November 5, 2025 at 7:20 PM
in the end ishmael never did call me. still, i hope he's happy out there
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When you smelled only one stench in the air,
It was then that I had stunk everything up with my overpowering stench.
It was then that I had stunk everything up with my overpowering stench.
November 4, 2025 at 12:50 PM
When you smelled only one stench in the air,
It was then that I had stunk everything up with my overpowering stench.
It was then that I had stunk everything up with my overpowering stench.
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they’re gonna try to make Conservative Star Trek and it’s gonna make the rest of the Nu Trek shit look incredible in comparison
umm this sucks
November 5, 2025 at 9:47 AM
they’re gonna try to make Conservative Star Trek and it’s gonna make the rest of the Nu Trek shit look incredible in comparison
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trick or treat
taste my blade
taste my blade
October 31, 2025 at 9:32 PM
trick or treat
taste my blade
taste my blade
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When I'm being fed oranges by concubines as an honored guest of the Sultan 😄🍊
When I'm taking the fall for a failed plot to swipe a powerful gem from the Sultan's magnificent turban 🧎🗡️
When I'm taking the fall for a failed plot to swipe a powerful gem from the Sultan's magnificent turban 🧎🗡️
October 10, 2025 at 5:41 AM
When I'm being fed oranges by concubines as an honored guest of the Sultan 😄🍊
When I'm taking the fall for a failed plot to swipe a powerful gem from the Sultan's magnificent turban 🧎🗡️
When I'm taking the fall for a failed plot to swipe a powerful gem from the Sultan's magnificent turban 🧎🗡️
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the deal i struck with burger king
May 26, 2025 at 2:56 AM
the deal i struck with burger king
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*me if I was the cop hunting Hannibal Lecter and I had him cornered* Stop eating people you jackass!!!
October 20, 2025 at 1:45 AM
*me if I was the cop hunting Hannibal Lecter and I had him cornered* Stop eating people you jackass!!!
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We can save the White House from demolition but it’s going to cost money. A lot of money. Don’t worry, I have a plan: let’s put on a show
October 22, 2025 at 10:11 PM
We can save the White House from demolition but it’s going to cost money. A lot of money. Don’t worry, I have a plan: let’s put on a show
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free line for democrats to use on the white house shit: donald trump has done what the flight 93 hijackers couldn’t
October 22, 2025 at 11:56 PM
free line for democrats to use on the white house shit: donald trump has done what the flight 93 hijackers couldn’t
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Since every comedic actor of a certain age gets a documentary after they die now i think it's important we establish that the dan aykroyd one should be no shorter than 6 hours, one episode of which is entirely dedicated to his relationship to fairies and magic
October 23, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Since every comedic actor of a certain age gets a documentary after they die now i think it's important we establish that the dan aykroyd one should be no shorter than 6 hours, one episode of which is entirely dedicated to his relationship to fairies and magic
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A list of things we don't need in this dancery:
1. Hateration
2. Holleration
1. Hateration
2. Holleration
March 23, 2025 at 3:29 AM
A list of things we don't need in this dancery:
1. Hateration
2. Holleration
1. Hateration
2. Holleration
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Mentally I’ve been in a bunker since 2008
October 22, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Mentally I’ve been in a bunker since 2008
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my large adult son wields the stout lips of a concert trombonist. our city, upon condemning a building, employs him to kiss it into dust. every earthly smooch digs a quarry, every peck on the cheek a gouge in the fabric of our reality. once saw the boy kiss a ostrich into a meatball. it haunts me
September 15, 2025 at 8:05 PM
my large adult son wields the stout lips of a concert trombonist. our city, upon condemning a building, employs him to kiss it into dust. every earthly smooch digs a quarry, every peck on the cheek a gouge in the fabric of our reality. once saw the boy kiss a ostrich into a meatball. it haunts me
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ME: (bringing a date back to a haunted house) Enter… if you dare! Haha. But seriously, it’s pretty spooky in there. Who knows, play your cards right and maybe we could add some moans of our own?
DATE: Um, maybe another time.
THE WHISPERING CORPSE THAT HOVERS JUST BEHIND MY HEAD: ʸᵒᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰⁱˢ
DATE: Um, maybe another time.
THE WHISPERING CORPSE THAT HOVERS JUST BEHIND MY HEAD: ʸᵒᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰⁱˢ
October 11, 2024 at 10:48 PM
ME: (bringing a date back to a haunted house) Enter… if you dare! Haha. But seriously, it’s pretty spooky in there. Who knows, play your cards right and maybe we could add some moans of our own?
DATE: Um, maybe another time.
THE WHISPERING CORPSE THAT HOVERS JUST BEHIND MY HEAD: ʸᵒᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰⁱˢ
DATE: Um, maybe another time.
THE WHISPERING CORPSE THAT HOVERS JUST BEHIND MY HEAD: ʸᵒᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰⁱˢ
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My golden scepter is good for pointing at people in an accusatory manner. But my obsidian scepter is good for banging on the floor to bring order to an unruly crowd. How am I supposed to pick just one to bring on holiday
October 16, 2025 at 1:01 PM
My golden scepter is good for pointing at people in an accusatory manner. But my obsidian scepter is good for banging on the floor to bring order to an unruly crowd. How am I supposed to pick just one to bring on holiday
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hey we need to talk. it's just that ever since you fell in that puddle we don't think you're a great fit for the Dry Butt Boys anymore. you can keep the gun but we'll need the badge back
October 16, 2025 at 10:50 PM
hey we need to talk. it's just that ever since you fell in that puddle we don't think you're a great fit for the Dry Butt Boys anymore. you can keep the gun but we'll need the badge back