eurello
@elizabeth.blog
Pinned
eurello
@elizabeth.blog
· Mar 20
I don’t want to be a trad wife or a boss bitch, I want to be a schlubby funny guy married to a Type A over-achieving hot woman who is always fondly exasperated with me.
But when you consider the cumulative time saved being able to pee standing up, it really pays for itself.
Dr Oz: "The creation of a penis costs on average in America $150,000 per child ... if you add testicles, that's extra"
December 18, 2025 at 6:42 PM
But when you consider the cumulative time saved being able to pee standing up, it really pays for itself.
I love putting on leggings, going to the gym, dropping my baby in the daycare, and then spending two hours looking at my phone.
December 17, 2025 at 4:40 PM
I love putting on leggings, going to the gym, dropping my baby in the daycare, and then spending two hours looking at my phone.
Me: “Listen, baby, since all you do is lay around anyway, why don’t you just lie quietly next to me while I read my book until we both fall asleep?”
Baby: “This can never be.”
Me: “Why not?”
Baby: “Baby code.”
Baby: “This can never be.”
Me: “Why not?”
Baby: “Baby code.”
December 17, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Me: “Listen, baby, since all you do is lay around anyway, why don’t you just lie quietly next to me while I read my book until we both fall asleep?”
Baby: “This can never be.”
Me: “Why not?”
Baby: “Baby code.”
Baby: “This can never be.”
Me: “Why not?”
Baby: “Baby code.”
Reposted by eurello
One thing I kind of hate about the customer experience in 2025 is that everything sucks ass but then asks you to take a five minute survey on it sucking ass
December 16, 2025 at 11:50 AM
One thing I kind of hate about the customer experience in 2025 is that everything sucks ass but then asks you to take a five minute survey on it sucking ass
Reposted by eurello
I still see people — smart, moral people — defend Woody Allen in the year 2025.
The man is garbage. He’s been confessing since at least MANHATTAN, in 1979, and you refuse to listen to him.
The man is garbage. He’s been confessing since at least MANHATTAN, in 1979, and you refuse to listen to him.
👍
December 16, 2025 at 5:22 AM
I still see people — smart, moral people — defend Woody Allen in the year 2025.
The man is garbage. He’s been confessing since at least MANHATTAN, in 1979, and you refuse to listen to him.
The man is garbage. He’s been confessing since at least MANHATTAN, in 1979, and you refuse to listen to him.
I support this because very few people need a truck and trucks are obnoxious, but at the same time every so often you do need a friend who can help you move a couch.
I would like to bring over my theory for solving America’s deadly roads. I call it the “Gay Truck Rule” and it would save thousands of lives every year.
December 13, 2025 at 10:22 PM
I support this because very few people need a truck and trucks are obnoxious, but at the same time every so often you do need a friend who can help you move a couch.
One weird side effect of misogyny and patriarchy is that there’s really no concept for cowardice in women, and there needs to be. Many women are shamefully cowardly and they intentionally raise their daughters to be cowards.
December 13, 2025 at 2:27 PM
One weird side effect of misogyny and patriarchy is that there’s really no concept for cowardice in women, and there needs to be. Many women are shamefully cowardly and they intentionally raise their daughters to be cowards.
Reposted by eurello
one of my longstanding takes is that car manufacturers should be forced to install mandatory speed limiters in every new vehicle and people react to that like I'm advocating to strip them of their right to free speech
December 12, 2025 at 4:40 PM
one of my longstanding takes is that car manufacturers should be forced to install mandatory speed limiters in every new vehicle and people react to that like I'm advocating to strip them of their right to free speech
One might conclude this is part of the purpose.
A lot to unpack here about class, gender, and caring work 19thnews.org/2025/12/ice-...
ICE arrests are forcing American moms to leave their jobs
A new analysis shows that increased immigration enforcement is reducing labor in the child care workforce. The ripple effect is impacting mothers with young children.
19thnews.org
December 12, 2025 at 1:28 AM
One might conclude this is part of the purpose.
Reposted by eurello
I relate to the cicada as I also silently mind my own business for years, but people only ever talk about the one day I was annoying
December 12, 2025 at 12:13 AM
I relate to the cicada as I also silently mind my own business for years, but people only ever talk about the one day I was annoying
Reposted by eurello
Patti LaBelle and her son Zuri Kye Edwards have wiped out more than $667,000 in unpaid school lunch debt, helping thousands of children across the United States. LaBelle called the act “a victory greater than any Grammy,” emphasizing that no child should ever have to learn on an empty stomach.
December 11, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Patti LaBelle and her son Zuri Kye Edwards have wiped out more than $667,000 in unpaid school lunch debt, helping thousands of children across the United States. LaBelle called the act “a victory greater than any Grammy,” emphasizing that no child should ever have to learn on an empty stomach.
I got this book for my 4-year-old and she loves it.
This is also *exactly* how I sell Santa’s Husband, I have said this verbatim on so many podcasts.
December 11, 2025 at 11:53 PM
I got this book for my 4-year-old and she loves it.
I wish people would not use the internet to try to make us sad. I am already sad!!
December 11, 2025 at 2:42 AM
I wish people would not use the internet to try to make us sad. I am already sad!!
Reposted by eurello
Mary when he actually starts playing a fucking drum for the baby she just got to sleep
December 10, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Mary when he actually starts playing a fucking drum for the baby she just got to sleep
There should be a universal hand signal you can give the parent of a four-year-old melting down in public that means “relax, I also have a 4yo who melts down in public.”
December 5, 2025 at 10:18 PM
There should be a universal hand signal you can give the parent of a four-year-old melting down in public that means “relax, I also have a 4yo who melts down in public.”
It’s selfish but I’m so relieved my baby is like one month ahead of this gradual dismantling, like he’s running across a falling cave floor in an action movie.
#ACIP just voted to scrap the universal hepatitis B birth-dose recommendation.
There is no new safety signal. No scientific rationale.
We are dismantling a 30-year-old, cancer-preventing policy that has nearly eliminated hepatitis B in U.S. children. 1/2
There is no new safety signal. No scientific rationale.
We are dismantling a 30-year-old, cancer-preventing policy that has nearly eliminated hepatitis B in U.S. children. 1/2
A panel that advises #CDC on vaccine policy votes to do away with the recommendation all babies should be vaccinated against #hepatitisB at birth. "We are doing harm," said panel member Cody Meissner, who voted against this #ACIP recommendation. www.statnews.com/2025/12/05/c...
December 5, 2025 at 10:17 PM
It’s selfish but I’m so relieved my baby is like one month ahead of this gradual dismantling, like he’s running across a falling cave floor in an action movie.
It’s not right but now that I’m running two kids to the doctor every other week and fighting them to take medication etc, I can see how “just ignore your kids’ health problems and they’ll eventually sort themselves out” became a popular political movement.
December 5, 2025 at 9:04 AM
It’s not right but now that I’m running two kids to the doctor every other week and fighting them to take medication etc, I can see how “just ignore your kids’ health problems and they’ll eventually sort themselves out” became a popular political movement.
Another awesome thing about breastfeeding: “Ahh I’m so so tired and the baby’s finally asleep and I’m cozy in bed and I finally get to float off to dreamla—“
Stomach: “WAKE UP BITCH I NEED 700 MORE CALORIES!!!!”
Stomach: “WAKE UP BITCH I NEED 700 MORE CALORIES!!!!”
December 4, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Another awesome thing about breastfeeding: “Ahh I’m so so tired and the baby’s finally asleep and I’m cozy in bed and I finally get to float off to dreamla—“
Stomach: “WAKE UP BITCH I NEED 700 MORE CALORIES!!!!”
Stomach: “WAKE UP BITCH I NEED 700 MORE CALORIES!!!!”
Reposted by eurello
Unvaccinated infants are the second most likely group to get hospitalized for Covid after older adults. Any effort to minimize the effectiveness for kids is evil.
November 29, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Unvaccinated infants are the second most likely group to get hospitalized for Covid after older adults. Any effort to minimize the effectiveness for kids is evil.
As if people have politics that are some eclectic craft cocktail of opinions no one could possibly untangle. People just want a leftist party, and the leftist political position is extremely straightforward and consistent! It’s not impossibly bespoke, it’s just not capitalist!
There is an extraordinary sense of entitlement behind the belief that there ought to be political party that aligns 100% with your own opinions.
November 29, 2025 at 11:50 PM
As if people have politics that are some eclectic craft cocktail of opinions no one could possibly untangle. People just want a leftist party, and the leftist political position is extremely straightforward and consistent! It’s not impossibly bespoke, it’s just not capitalist!
Referred to the baby’s teething ring as “his chew toy.”
November 29, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Referred to the baby’s teething ring as “his chew toy.”
I am begging all parents everywhere: encourage your kids to play with other kids at the playground/play place and then SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND STAY THERE.
November 29, 2025 at 5:12 PM
I am begging all parents everywhere: encourage your kids to play with other kids at the playground/play place and then SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND STAY THERE.
Reposted by eurello
every day logging on is a race to get a dumb joke off before you read the most terrifying news you’ve ever heard
November 29, 2025 at 4:39 PM
every day logging on is a race to get a dumb joke off before you read the most terrifying news you’ve ever heard
Reposted by eurello
awww what a cute baby. is it friendly?
November 25, 2025 at 11:57 PM
awww what a cute baby. is it friendly?
Reposted by eurello
this beer is starting to taste like everyone at Thanksgiving needs to hear my opinions about the US government
November 27, 2025 at 5:05 AM
this beer is starting to taste like everyone at Thanksgiving needs to hear my opinions about the US government