Rusty Shackleford
@dale-gribble.bsky.social
Boil Up Some Mtn. Dew, It’s Gonna Be A Long Night
Diarrhea: Nature’s Lubricant
December 31, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Diarrhea: Nature’s Lubricant
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
damn that baby looks cool as hell
December 29, 2025 at 11:11 PM
damn that baby looks cool as hell
ICE is short for I Can’t Ejaculate
December 28, 2025 at 1:28 AM
ICE is short for I Can’t Ejaculate
The best part of having kids is that you get Madden level play by plays of their poops
December 27, 2025 at 12:07 AM
The best part of having kids is that you get Madden level play by plays of their poops
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
goddam fiancée suggested that i buy 3 new pairs of jeans and for a barely perceptible moment i physically transformed into Hank Hill
December 26, 2025 at 10:29 PM
goddam fiancée suggested that i buy 3 new pairs of jeans and for a barely perceptible moment i physically transformed into Hank Hill
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
2pm. Day after Christmas. Ben Folds sneaks out to catch a matinee of Marty Supreme after his girlfriend naps, post-abortion.
December 26, 2025 at 6:46 PM
2pm. Day after Christmas. Ben Folds sneaks out to catch a matinee of Marty Supreme after his girlfriend naps, post-abortion.
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
Die Hard was actually appropriated from pagans
December 26, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Die Hard was actually appropriated from pagans
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
December 26, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
in the director's cut of Home Alone, uncle Frank says, "look what you did, you little cunt." That's the only difference
December 19, 2025 at 6:54 PM
in the director's cut of Home Alone, uncle Frank says, "look what you did, you little cunt." That's the only difference
How the Grinch Stole My Virginity
How the grinch stole my peace of mind
How the Grinch Stole Valor
December 25, 2025 at 3:19 PM
How the Grinch Stole My Virginity
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
Tiny Tim did die. Turns out an old man being a little bit nice doesn't actually cure polio.
December 25, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Tiny Tim did die. Turns out an old man being a little bit nice doesn't actually cure polio.
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
ME: (sobbing, clutching a pistol) Both of you just shut up! Tell me something only the real Santa would know!
SANTA: In March you took a shit in a public bathroom so horrific it made a janitor quit on the spot.
OTHER SANTA: Is that true?
Me: Yes
OTHER SANTA: Jesus Christ. Fuck, man
SANTA: In March you took a shit in a public bathroom so horrific it made a janitor quit on the spot.
OTHER SANTA: Is that true?
Me: Yes
OTHER SANTA: Jesus Christ. Fuck, man
December 25, 2025 at 5:03 AM
ME: (sobbing, clutching a pistol) Both of you just shut up! Tell me something only the real Santa would know!
SANTA: In March you took a shit in a public bathroom so horrific it made a janitor quit on the spot.
OTHER SANTA: Is that true?
Me: Yes
OTHER SANTA: Jesus Christ. Fuck, man
SANTA: In March you took a shit in a public bathroom so horrific it made a janitor quit on the spot.
OTHER SANTA: Is that true?
Me: Yes
OTHER SANTA: Jesus Christ. Fuck, man
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
I love how hyped everyone is at the Christ child dropping it low
December 25, 2025 at 1:37 PM
I love how hyped everyone is at the Christ child dropping it low
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
and Tiny Tim, who did NOT– hold on.... ladies and gentlemen, i've just received terrible news
December 25, 2025 at 3:03 PM
and Tiny Tim, who did NOT– hold on.... ladies and gentlemen, i've just received terrible news
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
Santa Clausferatu
December 31, 2024 at 2:49 PM
Santa Clausferatu
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
Tonight’s the night Mrs. Clause gets an entire year of passionate, raw dogging sexual frustration released with Duane, the slow witted but super hung elf who works in the stables.
December 25, 2024 at 1:37 AM
Tonight’s the night Mrs. Clause gets an entire year of passionate, raw dogging sexual frustration released with Duane, the slow witted but super hung elf who works in the stables.
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
I love the absolute conviction that ‘The Christmas Song’ has in saying “If you’re 93 years old or older you can fuck right off and not have a merry Christmas. Eat shit.”
December 21, 2024 at 4:03 AM
I love the absolute conviction that ‘The Christmas Song’ has in saying “If you’re 93 years old or older you can fuck right off and not have a merry Christmas. Eat shit.”
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
It would be REALLY funny if it turns out Jesus is real but he’s always HATED celebrating his birthday.
December 18, 2024 at 1:24 AM
It would be REALLY funny if it turns out Jesus is real but he’s always HATED celebrating his birthday.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost’s nipples on your nose
Jack Frost’s nipples on your nose
December 24, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost’s nipples on your nose
Jack Frost’s nipples on your nose
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
LITTLE LAMB: do you hear what i hear
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
December 22, 2025 at 3:40 PM
LITTLE LAMB: do you hear what i hear
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
The part in "Baby it's Cold Outside" where she sings 'maybe just a cigarette more' betrays her perceived virtue because as we all know 'if she smokes, she pokes'.
🙃
🙃
December 24, 2025 at 5:54 PM
The part in "Baby it's Cold Outside" where she sings 'maybe just a cigarette more' betrays her perceived virtue because as we all know 'if she smokes, she pokes'.
🙃
🙃
The little boy did WHAT to the man in the moon?!?!?
December 24, 2025 at 4:50 PM
The little boy did WHAT to the man in the moon?!?!?
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
WB: What do you have planned for Batman 2?
Tim Burton: We open on a newborn baby boy
WB: Aww
TB: No. The baby is ugly. He kills and eats a house cat while it's still alive. His parents try to kill him in his crib, but to Gotham's woe, they fail
WB: ...
TB: Also it's a Christmas movie
Tim Burton: We open on a newborn baby boy
WB: Aww
TB: No. The baby is ugly. He kills and eats a house cat while it's still alive. His parents try to kill him in his crib, but to Gotham's woe, they fail
WB: ...
TB: Also it's a Christmas movie
December 24, 2025 at 4:44 AM
WB: What do you have planned for Batman 2?
Tim Burton: We open on a newborn baby boy
WB: Aww
TB: No. The baby is ugly. He kills and eats a house cat while it's still alive. His parents try to kill him in his crib, but to Gotham's woe, they fail
WB: ...
TB: Also it's a Christmas movie
Tim Burton: We open on a newborn baby boy
WB: Aww
TB: No. The baby is ugly. He kills and eats a house cat while it's still alive. His parents try to kill him in his crib, but to Gotham's woe, they fail
WB: ...
TB: Also it's a Christmas movie
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
a grinch is the offspring of a who and a sneetch. and like a mule, is genetically sterile
December 24, 2025 at 3:13 PM
a grinch is the offspring of a who and a sneetch. and like a mule, is genetically sterile
Reposted by Rusty Shackleford
of all the primary christmas figures, i'd feel most confident taking Frosty the Snowman in a fistfight
December 24, 2025 at 1:45 AM
of all the primary christmas figures, i'd feel most confident taking Frosty the Snowman in a fistfight