Connor Alberts
@connoralberts.bsky.social
If you're worried I might be serious about something, don't worry. I'm not.
Reposted by Connor Alberts
Your hands are covered in little men. And the little men can make you sick if you don’t give them a bath. Sometimes they make other people sick too. Please give the little men a bath! I’m not crazy! Just listen to me! Bathe the little men on your hands! This is real! Get the men wet, you fools!
December 3, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Your hands are covered in little men. And the little men can make you sick if you don’t give them a bath. Sometimes they make other people sick too. Please give the little men a bath! I’m not crazy! Just listen to me! Bathe the little men on your hands! This is real! Get the men wet, you fools!
Reposted by Connor Alberts
babies learning to walk look like they’re doing a mean impression of a grown up
September 18, 2025 at 10:19 PM
babies learning to walk look like they’re doing a mean impression of a grown up
Reposted by Connor Alberts
guy's out here texting from T9 keyboard
September 18, 2025 at 11:20 PM
guy's out here texting from T9 keyboard
Reposted by Connor Alberts
Every night before bed my daughter and I play our favorite game: where is the special bead/rock/shell/tiny scrap of paper I’ve been carrying around all day that, if not found in the next fifteen seconds, will not only cause me to literally die, but will also spell doom for humanity’s future on earth
August 23, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Every night before bed my daughter and I play our favorite game: where is the special bead/rock/shell/tiny scrap of paper I’ve been carrying around all day that, if not found in the next fifteen seconds, will not only cause me to literally die, but will also spell doom for humanity’s future on earth
Reposted by Connor Alberts
Government came and took my labubu
August 22, 2025 at 12:13 PM
Government came and took my labubu
Reposted by Connor Alberts
If your search link doesn’t load in 1.7 seconds. I am out
August 22, 2025 at 6:34 PM
If your search link doesn’t load in 1.7 seconds. I am out
Reposted by Connor Alberts
The mafia trying to whack Frankenstein's monster because they think he's Frankenstein's mobster
August 22, 2025 at 11:35 AM
The mafia trying to whack Frankenstein's monster because they think he's Frankenstein's mobster
Reposted by Connor Alberts
Don't say "Ave Dominus Nox."
Don't say "We Have Come For You."
Don't say "flayed skin."
Don't say "bone chandelier."
Don't say "In Midnight Clad."
Don't say "the visions... the visions..."
When voters hear this, they think Night Lords are out of touch crazy people. Just talk normal. Be normal.
Don't say "We Have Come For You."
Don't say "flayed skin."
Don't say "bone chandelier."
Don't say "In Midnight Clad."
Don't say "the visions... the visions..."
When voters hear this, they think Night Lords are out of touch crazy people. Just talk normal. Be normal.
August 22, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Don't say "Ave Dominus Nox."
Don't say "We Have Come For You."
Don't say "flayed skin."
Don't say "bone chandelier."
Don't say "In Midnight Clad."
Don't say "the visions... the visions..."
When voters hear this, they think Night Lords are out of touch crazy people. Just talk normal. Be normal.
Don't say "We Have Come For You."
Don't say "flayed skin."
Don't say "bone chandelier."
Don't say "In Midnight Clad."
Don't say "the visions... the visions..."
When voters hear this, they think Night Lords are out of touch crazy people. Just talk normal. Be normal.
Reposted by Connor Alberts
the three little pigs:
just blow girl
August 20, 2025 at 6:54 PM
the three little pigs:
Reposted by Connor Alberts
they're calling it the most successful rebrand of all time
August 20, 2025 at 7:45 PM
they're calling it the most successful rebrand of all time
Reposted by Connor Alberts
Reposted by Connor Alberts
Reposted by Connor Alberts
uhhh i'm getting mixed signals here
August 20, 2025 at 9:01 PM
uhhh i'm getting mixed signals here
Reposted by Connor Alberts
"IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!" i yell as i fall into the wood chipper
August 16, 2025 at 2:11 AM
"IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!" i yell as i fall into the wood chipper
Reposted by Connor Alberts
Reposted by Connor Alberts
Reposted by Connor Alberts
imagine getting your dick caught in your zipper then being handed the key to the city
August 12, 2025 at 4:44 PM
imagine getting your dick caught in your zipper then being handed the key to the city
Reposted by Connor Alberts
why would you turn the tables to begin with? just get up and sit in the other chair. idiot
August 11, 2025 at 12:56 PM
why would you turn the tables to begin with? just get up and sit in the other chair. idiot
Reposted by Connor Alberts
Mark Cuban getting ratiod by a complete rando
August 11, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Mark Cuban getting ratiod by a complete rando
Reposted by Connor Alberts
thinking about posting jokes on here has anyone tried this
August 11, 2025 at 1:04 AM
thinking about posting jokes on here has anyone tried this
Reposted by Connor Alberts
usually if you ask experts why an empire fell they’ll say it’s nuanced and multifaceted, so i think it’s kind of cool that with America future historians will get to just say like “oh they took the idiot train to moronsville”
August 10, 2025 at 3:36 AM
usually if you ask experts why an empire fell they’ll say it’s nuanced and multifaceted, so i think it’s kind of cool that with America future historians will get to just say like “oh they took the idiot train to moronsville”